Spent my whole Saturday with my beloved sister. Was supposed to accompany her study at Raffles Hospital Spinelli but the place was crowded so she decided to study at home instead. So we went around Arab Street. & we stumbled upon this Arabic cafe/boutique. Damn nice. I loved their sling bags, wanted to buy but not enough moolahs. :( We had refreshments there, Sis with her Strawberry Sizzle, and me with my Snow sundae. Weehee~!! Sis plans to go there every weekend. Well, that's okay, cause she has money. Me? I don't. Haha.

Nabilah blowing candles. Heh. Cute.

Our Earth Hour participation.

Got scared by Cik Jal TWICE in the dark.

Pffffffffffft.

He put the torchlight under his chin so he appeared like a ghost in the dark.

& both times, he was behind me and I was turning around.

Pffffffffffffffffffffffffffft.

Gonna go find my Deathly Hallows book.

Bye.

Kelsey

I love manja cats as much as I love manja babies.

Ni aku punye Boboy !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Heeeeeeeeee!!! :D

Dream on ah, Faz.

Anyway, been doing good with the posters. Mirah and me decided to each do our own as many as we can, with whatever designs, then we'll just present it to the rest and they'll just pick which one they think is nice enough. Penat tau. Tsk.

Okay, to tell you the truth, I just finished ngaji-ing with my dad like, 5 minutes ago. All of a sudden he messaged me, "Kaklong nak mengaji qur'an tak bring to abah room after u solat maghrib'. Cute pe! Hahaha, and so we ngaji-ed. Sisto was right, when you ngaji with my dad, you can't move on to the next ayat UNTIL you get the former one right, as in the dengung and 'HAH' (from your dada) and whatever. I was sweating away. Haha. But it was good, kind of nice somehow. :)

My morning was great. No further explanation needed. Thanks, dear. :)

Kelsey makes me dance all over again till my sides hurt. Best ahhhhhhh.

Now it's gonna get harder

And it's gonna burn brighter

And it's gonna feel tougher, each and every day,

So let me say that I love you,

You're all I've ever wanted,

All I've ever dreamed of to come

And yes you did come

KepadaNya

I kinda like it when he's serious, 'cause it's very rare to see him serious.

(Though now it's more frequent cause he's VP.)

But I also don't like it when he's serious, 'cause he looks bloody fierce.

& it's not like the person I fell in love with.

Just honest thoughts. :)

The whole bus trip home, I had a self-reflection on my life. How it is with my own hands that I made it the way it is now. & before I change the way it is, I have to first change myself. Be a better person than I am now. 'cause lately, the maulids (and a lil advice and "kata mutiara" from my maid) have made me look at my life from a different light.

Gawd, I think all these maulids and zikir lately are getting into my head. Especially after reading that Hajat book, even though my malay can't even save my life. Didn't even know what berbekam means. Tskk.

Have a lot of editting to do for the poster and program card so I shall not talk much. Though I would very much like to add that the week started horribly. I worry constantly about my dad and I know he's just trying to be strong for us, because that's what dads do, right? But I can't help but worry. Even my mum's being strong in front of us. It's just one thing after another.

But hey, gotta suck it up right? What's the point of crying about how horrible your life is, when you yourself have the power to change it? & if we can't change it, guess we'll have to accept it. That's cobaan right? Just gotta bear in mind that others have it worse than me. Better be thankful for what I already have. :)

Wahai manusia, sedarlah dirimu

Hidup di dunia hanya sementara

Dekatkan diri padaNya

Biar terluka, hapuskan sangsi mu

Ialah petunjuk buat segalanya

Arahkan diri padaNya

Well, I guess I didn't try hard enough.

Sorry I couldn't be a good enough friend.

I'm sucha loser.

You don't deserve me. :)

NATASHA YOW HISHAM - Queen Of Kambing!

Everything is coming at the wrong time. & to add to it, the realization that my best friend is really leaving. It breaks my heart to just think about it.

But I don't blame her. I mean, it's not her fault. I just know I'll miss her very much if she really leaves. I remember how I had a dream when I was in Sec.3, about her leaving for Australia without telling me. I remember how I freaked out, and she was the one who calmed me down. I remember how glad I was when the plans to move there was cancelled. & then when the plans to move out of Paris was cancelled, I felt so relieved. & now, who's to say it won't happen? London. That's fucking far.

God, I must be more positive.

But God, I'll really miss her if it all happens.

Well, to change the subject, while looking through my hard disk for the perfect picture of us, I found this.

Oh man. I miss that shirt.

Not sure where it went.

& my goodness laaa.

I miss that long hair.

Bummer sia.

Maybe a tribute tomorrow to the hair?

Found loads of pictures.

Garh, I'm gonna cry.

Life can either be accepted or changed

If it is not accepted, it must be changed

If it cannot be changed, then it must be accepted

Why

This conversation was so freaking hilarious.

This girl ah, so funny. HAHA.

Ooooh, primary/secondary school reopening next week.

Bummer, 'cause the buses will be crowded again.

Oh, and Mum just gave me more pressure about my license thingy.

If I don't pass, I will kena "terajang" (however you spell that).

She wants me to be her transportation for her business.

-.-

God, pleasepleaseplease make Jakarta happen.

Just like you made KL happen last year.

:)

Because these days aren't easy

Like they have been once before

These days aren't easy anymore

Heaven

For a last minute outing, we sure knew where to go. Haha. It's like, "Where you want to go?", "No, where you want to go?" repeatedly at each other. Ended up walking around Far East, looking for that shop where I bought my camera necklace on New Year's Eve, with her some more. Haha. But the shop already closed. So sad, it had very nice stuff. Then, went around Taka's basement, I call it the Food Heaven. There was a baby stuff sale or something. Ended up at Changi Airport after that. It was a good idea in the end, 'cause we both had direct buses home. Had Ya Kun Kaya toast at T2 and we talked like long lost buddies. About school, friends, relationships, SYARIF SLEEQ.

She looks so damn happy in the pictures. & pale. & she introduced me to more Korean songs. & she's going to Thailand this Sunday for the service-learning thing which I had actually ajak-ed her to in the first place. Ended up, she go alone 'cause I couldn't. :( banget. But never mind, Jakarta this June. It may not seem much, but I'm looking for the experience. Oh ya, my mum said we'll be going to the pondok pesantren. Whoaaaa~~

mianhae neo honja ireohkae nonaeseo

naman yeogi nama eeseoseo

momseori chikae niga bogo shipeunde

(I am sorry

that I let you leave by yourself like this.

that I just remain here.

I miss you like crazy.)

Breakin'

I was rummaging through my drawer for stuff when I stumbled upon this. She has already gotten her pretty ass out of RP, lucky her. So when I read this, it made me cry a little because it somehow made me feel special, appreciated. I miss having her in class too, cause with her, I can be myself as well. Sooooo, MAISARAH KAMAL! You are missed, and will always be missed. Please, let's go out one of these days to celebrate your wish that came true: getting out of RP. Haha. :) Or we can have a gathering with the melayus or something. Play twister again, "kanan kiri pon tak tau!?!?" :D

Nafisah rocks my tudung!! Wooooooo! "Jangan menangis lagi, jangan kau sedih. Ambil lah tissue ini, ingos kau meleleh." HAHA. Random thing I said while we were eating, and my sis happened to have mucus coming out of her nose. Hahahaha. The maulid was awesome, so was the food. I managed to record all the songs we bace/sang. Lovin' them. Weeee!

Ohohohoh, I can't fucking wait to go to Jakarta this June. I hope hope hope, pray pray pray, sooo hard, that it will happen. Getting to live at Umi Aisyah's house will be such an amazing experience. Then Habib Saggaf's. Wooooo! I told myself that if this trip really, really, really jadi for this June, I will wear tudung for the whole of our stay in Indonesia. Even my sis supports going to Indonesia, which she usually doesn't. I can't wait! When I thought I heard Umi Aisyah's voice yesterday, it made me miss her. Not sure why, but the feeling is indescribable yet amazing.

Shall not emo. Shall start on DARK, since I've left it untouched for days. How sad.

In a clear view there’s a silhouette

And I watch you and I can’t forget

Knew we were done when you locked that door

Yeah I figured it out now

Breaking’s what the heart is for

P.S: For my wedding, there will be a grand piano next to my pelamin, playing all my favourite songs. The theme will be white. Haha. Bride Wars is inspiring. Me and Sisto actually discussed about our weddings the whole of last night. Hers will (still) be greek-themed. & there will be a gamelan ensemble playing greek songs. Biar betol. Hahahaha. She will enter in those greek kind of carriage. That woman, dream big siolll. HAHA.

Broken

All the hard work paid off. It was beautiful.

Me: Lawa kaan???

Antie: Ah-ah.

Me: Tengok lerr sape yang ambek.

Antie: *coughcough*

-.-

I'm still very, very, very tired.

PMS does not help at all.

The pain came back.

Sweeeet.

No tears, Faz.

You better swear.

And time

Is all I ask for

Time

I just need one more day

And time

You’ve been crying too long

Time

And your tears wrote this song

Stay

This lil girl merajok with me just now when I pulled the coffee table and her toe tersepit. She cried and kicked like crazy at me. & all I did was laugh cause it was so cute! I wasn't bullying her or being mean but, it's just so cute. HAHAHAHA.

Okay, here's one weird thing. I was so busy yesterday that I can't even remember what I did on Friday now. Wow.

Mum's dessert corner was beautiful. It makes all our hard work worth it. Thank God it's over. Crazy work on a Saturday, all the way till 2am, for 300 pieces for 10 items. EACH. & Mum going crazy every moment, and Dad being affected, and Farah was surprisingly helpful. THANK GOD THE OTHER FAMILY WENT KL. Good thing that they left their maid behind, we had an extra pair of hands.

It's not over yet. We have a maulid this Tuesday at my house. The closing ceremony. AT MY HOUSE. Tskk. Well, it would have been better if Umi Aisyah was around but oh wells. End of the year then. I don't know why, I just wanna meet her. After last night's breakdown. THANKS, NATASHA YOW HISHAM for those words. It somewhat made me feel better.

At least Tueday's menu isn't alot. Just around 30 pax coming over. Will be nice to see the lot of makciks, even though makciks are not my thing. HAHA. At least they're familiar. Not like the kanchiong ECP ones. Okay, shall not start on that.

I'm gonna go. My sides and back hurts like crazy. I'm gonna go play piano while I still have the time. Toots!

P.S: Nats, DARK tonight. Watch your inbox. & I had a weird dream last night I sooo gotta tell you. &&! BRIDE WARS WAS AWESOME, MAN!!!

Sweet Caroline

& I got my Starbucks with Nats today. Woooohooo! Gossip/catchup session @ Tamp Starbucks. A Venti Frappe = one meal. Kenyang giler sey. Hahahaha. Sports Day was hot! &... Mr. Jason Leong!!! = HOT! + Mr. David = DOUBLE HOT! Hahaha. But anyway, I am so gonna run for the CCA race next year. I am confident that I WON'T win (hahahaha!) but at least, run once for my favourite CCA. I think I went a few shades darker after sitting in the sun today. Greattttt. Tskk.

My 400D came home to me like this. So cute! Hahaha. Like a Christmas present, just transparent wrapping paper. After taking out the plastic, I actually kissed it and SMELLED it. My camera has this nice camera smell that I absolutely love. Okay, you may find that weird, but come on! It's my first camera, and photography was my first love (not forgetting piano)!

I'll upload the video of Natasha another time. Heh.

Oh sweet caroline

Good times never seem so good

I've been incline

To believe it never would

Baby

Explored more of the West side today with Ahmad. Bus-ed down to a place he calls "Superbowl" and had breakfast at Mac's. No, wait. Breakfast for him, lunch for me. His lucky ass got him a breakfast set (the last order!), while I had to buy the EVM. Tskkkk. I was soooo looking forward to a McGriddles. (Never mind, tomorrow with Nats, can get the Deluxe set, wooohooooo!) But that ain't all, peeps, that ain't all.

After breakfast/lunch, we went in to Superbowl. Thought of playing one game but ended up playing pool. Kak Lynn played her first pool game when she was 16, while I played mine at almost 19! How saddddd is my life. (& not forgetting the part where I only knew what BLOWJOB meant when I turned 18 and a day old. Tssskkkkkkk.) So anyway, our dearest Ahmad taught me how to play. I gotta admit, playing pool on the computer was ALOT easier. But! It was still fun. & funny, somehow. I still can't get over how ticklish he is. And....................*jengjengjeng*

I WON THE FUCKING GAME! FIRST TIMER SIOLLLLLLLLLLL.

Hahahaha. Okay la, he did ignore some rules of the game since I was a first timer. But stillllll. I won. But that ain't all, people, that ain't all.

Here's my favourite part of the day:

I FREAKING PRANKED AHMAD AGAINNNN!!!!!

Whooooo, I feel good, so gooood, so gooooood. Weeeeheeee. I hid his laptop charger while he was busy playing drums with Rasydan and Syai in the gamelan room after training. And boy, you should have seen his face. Damn stressed, damn panicked, absolutely priceless, I almost couldn't bear to watch him. &! I put up a pretty good act too. "Mane you letak? Haiyooooh!" without smiling! HAHAHAHAHA. I love these past 2 days, man.

Gotta sleep early. Have to leave DARK for another time. Meeting NatsyYowsy at 6.15 @ White Sands so I shall hit the sack nowssssss. Goodnight, people!

And I was like

Baby baby baby oh

Like baby baby baby no

Like baby baby baby oh

I thought you'd always be mine (mine)

The Way I Loved You

HAHAHA.

Today was awesome, despite being constantly bullied by Ahmad, but that's okay, 'cause he had fun. That's all that matters. Right, boobs? :p

Can't wait till Thursday. Breakfast with Natasha before going for CSS Sports Day has been a tradition for 5 years now, I think. Awesome, man, way awesome. & she gets all excited (just like she used to) about DARK. Heh. The feeling that I thought I lost has returned: making this girl happy. Great, those days are all coming back to me now.

I shall not emo (I don't think I was going to anyway). I have to wake up early tomorrow soooo, toodles! :)

And it might be wonderful

It might be magical

It might be everything I've waited for,

A miracle

Oh, but even if I fall in love again

with someone else

It could never be the way I loved you

I don't know why, but I feel bad for my parents. I haven't been a good daughter, to be honest, I haven't been a good anything. I just wanna do things I wanna do and I don't care if people disapprove. & that's what I hate about me.

I wish I could be a better person.

Maybe I deserve all that's happening to me.

I miss Farhan and Fatimah so much right now. But sometimes, when you realise that you actually love someone, it's too late for regrets 'cause they're gone. I tried calling their handphones but that bastard had their phones with him. (Maybe I shouldn't call him that 'cause he used to be my uncle but after all we did for him and he repayed us this way, I don't wanna call him uncle.)

I just wish I cherished them, showed them I cared.

I just wish things could be different.

I just know that the next time I see them, I'll cry.

When my sis told me about her dream of them, she cried. We cried together, actually. Gawd, I miss them.

It's too late.

I wish I was older. I wish I had a car. I'd drive with Sisto and pick them up myself. Then we'll go out and have a cousins-day-out, something that I haven't done in a long time.

I know they won't be able to see this, but I hope they miss us as much as we miss them.

Kite Flying @ Marina Barrage

Simply gorgeous sunset.

It was fun, damn super fun. The thing that tired me most was Syai's kite. It just wouldn't fly, and I didn't wanna give up, not sure why. Fahmi and me tried all kinds of ways to get the kite up: extra strings, tied the head etc. At first, it worked, then we gave up. I sweated so much yesterday, ran around like some crazy girl, screamed so much, and the worse part? The kites love me so much that they all always fall on me. Tskk. I can't even count how many times they went down on me. But we were near a damned dam dammit! *inside joke*

So, while I was having fun at the south side of Singapura, my family were in the east having fun with...

Kurang asam, tak ajak.

I liked it when I first tried it last two weeks or so.

Pffffft.

But! Listen to my dad laugh in the beginning.

HAHAHAHAHAHA, so cute!

By the way, I watched Marley & Me for the first time today on Star Movies and I freaking cried. If my religion allowed it, I wouldn't have minded a dog. (But I still love cats!) But seriously, me and Sisto cried like shit at the last part. So touching. Movies that star animals usually melt my heart. Like, Joe Young. T.T

I'm gonna go. :)

These Words

<3

Happy 7th!

These words are my own

From my heart flow

I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you

There's no other way

To better say

I love you, I love you...

I WANNA GO GET A STARBUCKS FRAPPE WITH NATASHAAA!!

WHEN SHE GETS BACK!!!

Ooooh, Thursday!

CSS Sports Day @ Tampines Stadium.

Got the tix already.

Weehee!

(Better remember that P comes in at 7.30am. So we better come earlier than that.)

Kite-flying tomorrow with the GNK peepsxz.

I'm gonna bring the BIG kite!!

Wooohoooo!

Semangat gilerrrr.

Wonder how I'm gonna carry it all the way to Marina Barrage.

Harap-harap kite tu sampai in one piece ye.

I dreamt of Natasha last night.

Hmmm~~~

Okay, I wanna go eattttt.

Mmmmmm.

Hold On

My sister is soooo pretty. :D

I haven't been a good daughter, I haven't been a good sister, I haven't been a good friend, I haven't been a good listener, I haven't been there for anyone, and I haven't been a healthy person for a long time. But hey, the latter is okay, right? Because I deserve it. I still do the things I want to do despite my condition. I asked for it, right? Well, thanks.

I feel like taking a knife and stabbing it at the area where the pain is. It's really playing games with me; first it's the left side, then it's the right, then it goes back to the left, and then the right. I wish it'd quit doing that. I wish it'll just go away.

I cried for the first time today since ages. So much for promising not to cry. I'm such a weakling.

I'm starting to lose the flame that once burned so bright. I'm starting to lose the hope that I tried so hard to hold onto. I'm not sure what to do now.

I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight, no matter how dead tired I am. Really feel like grabbing a knife right now.

When it falls apart,

& you're feeling lost

All your hope is gone

Don't forget to hold on

Just The Girl

I look fugly. Never mind.

This is for the forever kambing loving girl - Ms. Hisham Natasha Yow.

I saw your LJ. LOLOLOLOL!!

& this is for her to have fun with Pasir's. :D

The girl is going Aussie tomorrow. :(((( Will be sending her off at T3, woman is going on the A380. We took our jump shots with its baby, A330, and now she'll be taking the mother-plane. She has one lucky ass. First Melbourne. End of the year: Florida, New York, Miami and whatnot. Bye!

HAHAHA. Just kidding.

Had a great time with her at the park. Time with this girl is never not fun. & she keeps saying tsunami this and tsunami that, just because it was low tide. Ohhhhh, Pasir Ris beach is the most disgusting beach everr. Sheeesh.

Okay, I'm so tired now. I'll end with a..... NEH-NEH-POK! *inside joke* HAHAHAHAH. Omg, cannot tahan. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA.

'cause she's bittersweet

She knocks me off my feet

& I can't help myself, I don't want anyone else

She's a mystery, she's too much for me

But I keep coming back for more

She's just the girl I'm looking for

P.S: I miss Eric Dill in Click Five. :(