Grow Old With You

Salam all!!!

I just finished cleaning, REALLY cleaning, my study table. After my trip to IKEA yesterday and purchasing a couple of stuff for organisation on my study table, I decided to just get started today. Little did I expect to find a load of my study notes having fresh pee. Habib is officially my biggest enemy. Sigh. I had to cut off the part of my notes that had pee on. My sis and me came to a consensus that Habib hates me. Because she rarely gets her stuff peed on. And whatever stuff is mine, obviously has my scent, he seems to know and just happily pees on. Even my hari raya shoes, CHARLES AND KEITH, MIND YOU, got peed on last weekend. Imagine my fury!

Habib is my nemesis, and always has been.

When I get married, or move out from this house, I'm taking Shy-me and Lumos with me. Habib can stay with my sis for all I care. *angry mode*

Anyway, here's my current obsession. The new Canon Powershot SX510HS. I plan to get it soon, right before Abang Fazli's wedding so that I can upload more hijab tutorials (!!) and also use it for work. Term 4 is coming up soon, which means I need to start on my children's portfolios soon. I've been relying on my iPhone and the photo quality is just not professional on the PowerPoint slides. :/

So, I plan to get this by end of the month or early Sept, once the reviews are out. I still think it looks promising, with the Wi-Fi feature and all. It's time I invest on a good, proper digital camera. On the other hand, I plan to get the Canon EOS 700D at the end of the year, when I get my bonus. But I'm still considering because it's not really a need, as compared to the Powershot. I could kaboom my entire bonus into my savings account at least. Or give half of my entire pay for that month to my parents. I initially wanted to invest in an Olympus PEN. But I realised it's not really suitable in an all children environment. With that kind of sleek body and lens. I can't imagine what'll happen in my nursery class. But a simple digital camera would probably do the job just nice, even suitable for outdoor or field trips. Looking forward to purchasing one soon. :D

This song is currently my obsession.

It'd be so nice, growing old with you.

You, who has become one of my pillars of support in my life.

Who has never failed to be there for me.

And even after all these years, I fall in love with you over again everytime we meet.

Be safe out there, dearest.

:3

I'll get your medicine when your tummy aches

Build you a fire if the furnace breaks

Oh it could be so nice, growing old with you

I Wanna Grow Old With You

In a nutshell, this is of yesterday.

Him turning up at AIC in the morning as a surprise for me.

When I was coming down the lift at school, I was having butterflies in my tummy.

I was nervous for some reason.

And it could be because we haven't met since 25 july.

Even Rachelle was shocked.

She said busy is just an excuse.

Well, she doesn't know half the story so, yeah.

And the sweetest message, for the record.

Actually, what came after that was even sweeter.

To the point that I was crying on the train home.

Never have I felt so blessed to meet such a soul.

To be loved by such a big-hearted, selfless person.

So blessed.

So very, very blessed.

I'm crying already.

I wanna grow old with you too.

There's no one else that I can picture my old age with.

:3

Here's a post on Le Love that touched my heart. Read it here.

What if love is far more than that? What if it's not just physical attraction, or sex, or strength of emotion, or a really nice guy that makes you feel not-lonely? 

What if love is a lifestyle? 

What if "love" is a fight to be patient, a choice to remain kind, a refusal to hold grudges or get so easily angered? What if it isn't about pride, but about compassion? What if love can't stand for anything but truth, even when it hurts, and despite the hurt, insists on continuing?

What if love doesn't fade, because you believe that love is so much more than the emotions you feel?

I want to grow old with you

I want to die lying in your arms

I want to grow old with you

I want to be looking in your eyes

I want to be there for you, sharing everything you do

I want to grow old with you

Dark Side

What is actually "Wait".

Typo, typo.

What he sent me on the night of 18th August.

Romantic, cheesy, mushy, whatever you think it is.

But I think it's sweet. :3

Salam!

So. The observation went not too badly today. I still have room for improvements, but thank god for better behaviour today. Or rather, better behaviour than the usual. Hahaha.

I don't know why but I just love these kids. No matter how they angry they make me when they don't listen properly to instructions, or fight with their peers, I love them still. Wayn did not come to school the entire of last week and I didn't realise how much I missed him till I heard his cute voice today. Sigh. Sometimes, I just don't want these kids to grow up.

So, my principal gave some pretty honest comments about the observation, and how I can further improve. She is probably the reason why I'm so open to feedback because she doesn't criticize. She highlights the good first, and then discusses the not so good points. I'm so blessed. Alhamdulillah for a leader like her. ;D

Alright, gotta go now. At least this is an update right? Salam and be in the best of health. The haze is back. :(

Or will you stay

Even if it hurts

Even if I try to push you out

Will you return?

And remind me who I really am

Please remind me who I really am

Everybody's got a dark side

Do you love me?

Can you love mine?

Nobody's a picture perfect

But we're worth it

You know that we're worth it

Will you love me?

Even with my dark side?

How do I hold on?

How do I stay strong?

I'm so so so so utterly tired.

My workload is getting even worse.

I just wanna cry.

just

want

to

cry

Almost But

Salam, y'all.
Up above is yesterday's lunch with the usual.
These people make lunch so fun. :)

I'm losing my mind soon.

I most definitely will.

Work piling and piling up.

I'm not managing anything good enough right now.

Probably because of the festive season but...

Ugh. I'm so tired right now.

I feel like dropping everything I have on my to-do list.

I just...
I'm having a headache now.

Down below is my favourite song from Sleeq.
This was like, back in 2007ish, 2008ish.
When Syarif's voice sounded "younger".
Once upon a time, I was super crazy over him.
HAHA.
Until I dreamt that I married Hady Mirza, I switched to the latter.
And switched back to Syarif again, HAHA.
I like his voice here though.
It's just so.... melodious. Mmm-hmm.

My fangirl days are over, not to worry.
I still like them, they have talent and the potential to be more successful than ever before.
But my fanatic streak has toned down over the years.
So, I'm good.
I still like his voice here.
His voice now is just.... I dunno. Meh.

My fangirl days may be over, but I am a fan of children now.
HAHAHAHA.
Let's name a few:

Mr Wayn

Miss Nathania

Encik Matin

Someday, I'll talk about them.
Till then, stay in the best of health, yall.
Salam.

I've never cried like this

The words I wrote for you

I noticed you from far

But all you see is like I don't give a damn

Boxes piling up

Are you going off?

I'm telling you it's too tough

When I feel I almost had you but

I know she's moving on

From me she's gotta hear this song 

I know that she'll be ok 

And I know that I'll be loving her so 

She's my soul 

My everything in life I could have 

I just can't let her go

:B

What Ahmad sent me a couple of days back.

I know right.

He's so annoying but cute sometimes I just wanna strangle him.

Thing is, he makes me laugh so effortlessly.

:3:3:3

This girl and her lil sis are turning so makcik-makcik.

So annoying but cute!

I can't make up my mind.

Aisehhhh, ape macam.

Boleh masok majalah Manja tak?

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Freestyle yo!

Assalamualaikum! I am back with another update, very unexpectedly because I just feel like talking somehow (even though I have assignments and an observation lesson plan to complete). I'm so super duper busy, and I can foresee myself being even more busier once we start going for Sparks C1-C6. Sigh.

Anyway, I can finally lunch with my colleagues now. Back to our usual stupid lame jokes and laughter again. I will be so sad once Rachelle leaves next year. Why must we be paid so low? It doesn't tempt you to stay in the organisation. Sigh.

I wanna invest on a good digital camera, and I've been wanting to since last year. I've been saving, and I actually do have enough now but, I just can't touch that money because it's purely savings. Sad right? I told myself to just get one once I get my bonus....... In freaking DECEMBER. Okay, fine, it's a few months away; by the time I blink, it will be December already. :D

Mind you, I haven't been spending lately. 2 months, it has been, since I last shopped for clothes and whatnots. Shopping for Eid is a different thing, okay. I paid for my own Eid outfit this year for the first time and it feels so.... awesome. Like it's a stepping stone to growing up, really growing up. I've been paying for my own bills too, since I started working, and for the cats' needs too. Haaaa, no wonder la my account drained so fast on top of my daily transport and food expenses. HAHAHA. And don't forget my insurance too. Bottom line, I'm no longer a fulltime student. Gotta step away from that era already and start being responsible with my money.

And this Eid! My uncles and aunties kept asking me:

"Fazlun! When's your turn to get married?!"

Ye la, mentang-mentang Abang Fazli nak kahwin next month, korang target aku jugak la. I almost told them, "Kite tunggu Ahmad." but I stopped myself. :p

Because some of them don't know who Ahmad is. Yet. :D

So my reply ended up being, "Lepas degree."

And luckily, no one started on the buat ape belajar tinggi-tinggi stuff, otherwise, I'd probably flare, haha! So after I replied that, they went (literally) ".................." *inserts muka gelak2 here*

Give me 3 years la, gaise. I know uolls tak sabar nak rasa my nasi minyak. HAHAHAHAHAH!

Okay, enough about the kahwin-kahwin stuff. I have to be in bed already now. Hoping it doesn't rain tomorrow morning. It sucks to arrive at AIC and work all drenched. Plus, the cold is unbearable and makes my chest pain act up. It's been frequent every single time it rains like crazy. I have to rely on soup and hot drinks just to stay warm.

Stay in the best of health, my dear readers, whoever you guys are. Thank you for still reading this pathetic, updated-when-I-feel-like-it blog. Your dedication is very much appreciated.

Assalamualaikum! Kalau tak jawab, dosa, kalau jawab, sayang! :3

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI

Assalamualaikum!!!

We turned 4 on 7 August 2013!

Indeed, it has been a crazy but wonderful journey these past 4 years with him, and everything we had to go through together, we were there by each other's side, even when it's not in the physical sense. I'm so blessed and thankful to have someone who always tries his best to be my support during my hardest times. Someone who has seen the worst of me, but still chooses to stick around because he says he loves me more than just my exterior. *tears* Thank you, my dearest man, for being such a great inspiration to me all these years together. For accepting me for who I am and loving me for who I am. It takes great strength, character and virtue to love someone like me, especially someone like me. I always doubt myself, I'm always doubting my own worthiness for him, but he doesn't seem to doubt anything at all. It's like, being me is just enough for him. Such is the goodness in him. I can't even think of anyone who is as good as he has been to me. I might start crying anytime so I'll just stop here. Thank you, Ahmad Mustaqim, for being the best you could for me, for being endlessly patient with me, for all the love and joy you've given me the past 4 years. I just can't thank you enough. I hope for more years with you, and that the love and patience you have for me will never fade. I hope you don't tire of me and I hope you won't stop fighting for us. I love you. :3

Having said that, let's move on to the next topic! National Day!

On 7 August, as well, we had a combined celebration for the KCC branch and it was also the day my dearest N2-4 children performed their dance item they have been practising for one and a half month in front of a huge audience. It was quite a tiring day for me because 1) I was fasting 2) The host kept telling the kids to scream 3) The crowd was crazy and the children kept getting mixed up with another class from another school 4) I had to keep the children under control as they screamed and shout excitedly

Busy, busy, busy 

Well, partner in crime.

I like how the flag happens to be in front of us. HAHA!

Okay now, this picture below was a damn hilarious scene. Our N2-4 children were doing their dance item with N2-1, N2-2 and N2-3 on stage. We have 2 songs actually, Xiao Xiao Ping and Singapore Cheer. The soundman got the songs mixed up so there was a bit of a technical problem so while they fixed that, the 3 of us were telling the children to be in their Singapore Cheer positions. "Take off your hat, hold your hat and squat down!" We were shouting our heads off, actually. We all used hand gestures too but the kids looked so blur! Must have been overwhelmed by the crowd around the stage, poor dears. Even though I was busy telling the children to do what they're supposed to do, I was very much aware of the event photographers training their cameras on us. You can even see Rachelle looking directly at the camera. Hahahaha!

I don't know why but I really like how I look here. I think I was staring a child down but doing it with a friendly look because all the parents' eyes are on us teachers that day. I also don't know why I wasn't even paying attention to the MP's speech. Now I'm pretty sure a child was bullying another at this point, because that day, there was this one boy who kept injuring his friends with his flag's stick. I was so, ugh! But anyway, I like how my shawl makes it look like I have long "hair". :p

Now, finally!

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri to all my Muslim readers, families and friends! Minal aidin wal faizin! 

Meet Tiffy!

His owner put him on a leash outside the house, with the end tied to the door.

It was sooooooooooo cuuuteee!

When you talk to it, it responds!

My cats only respond when you call their names.

That also depends on their moods.

Sigh.

And this fella's fur was soooooooo soft!!!!!

*hearts coming out from my eyes*

When Ahmad called me this morning and teased me, he said my head chain looks like lampu lap lip. Kurang asam punye boyfriend kan? Hahaha. But it's okay, it's very rare to have him call me on the phone and talk like we were right next to each other.

So anyway, I finally got a decent photo taken with my grandpa. Yesterday was a very sad day for me. Not only does 1st Syawal remind me of the day 3 years ago when we thought Angah bisu was gonna die. And on top of that, I was observing my grandpa's interaction with everyone, at every house.

When I salam him and mint maaf, here's what he said to me:

"Doakan Tok Bak ye, doakan Tok Bak dapat jumpe Hari Raya tahun depan."

He said the same thing to my sis too. We find it strange but coming from an elderly of age, it's probably normal. He supported my decision to further my studies to degree as well as the intention to someday open my own school.

I miss him, really. I miss the old days when I was a child. I would sit on his lap and he'll jerk his legs like in a riding a horse motion. I used to enjoy it so much. But now, he looks frail like crazy. :(

I guess this is all. I don't feel like emo-ing evern though my mood matches such a post. See you all in my next post, Insyallah. Assalamualaikum. May you all be in the best of health always. 

Assalamualaikum!

Guess what?!

Okay, pause. Before I even start, I know I've gotta apologize for the extreme lack of updates because someone complained, haha. Ramadhan has come, and now, it's leaving so soon. I've been busy this entire Ramadhan, working on my ibadah, terawih and for these last 10 days, qiyamullail. And I've just gotta say what a blessed month it has been, despite the trials I faced along the way. I feel truly blessed to be where I am now; a shelter over my head, plenty of food for my family and me, and opportunities to share and give away food and kuih to my loved ones and friends. This year is different, I broke fast at home almost everyday, and it enabled me to catch terawih prayers daily. Looking back on the previous Ramadhan(s) so far, I regret that I didn't really perform terawih prayers much, due to always staying out late and stuff. But this year, Alhamdulillah for the opportunity everyday. :)

Anyway, guess who finally made her first hijab tutorial?!

Making it was so funny and awkward, because I rarely ever speak to a camera. Even when I do, I'll be so super shy and hide my face and stuff. I'm extremely conscious of how I look, haha. Who isn't?

Anyway, I decided on a voiceover instead so that I can concentrate on the tutorial itself. And I don't know what's with the pouting throughout the video because it's so macam act cute please mintak kene sepak kind of face. Then I realised that when I put on my tudung normally without a camera, I do pout. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Eh, in front of mirror, okay la. It's just my reflection and me. It's actually macam testing whether the part of the tudung at the side of my face prevents me from moving my jaw around, if you get what I mean.

And if you noticed, I was like, dancing in the video! Thanks to my sis la! She played Taylor Swift songs while I was recording, insisting that it will loosen me up on camera, but it loosened me up TOO MUCH. Hahahaha. But anyway, it was fun. I actually like this style alot, and I don it quite frequently.

My voice sounds so formal though, right? And my face will be like smile-serious-serious-pout-smile-pout-serious. I've gotta work on my expressions.

Yes. I'm gonna make more. :)

My sis made these the other day with Nafisah. Kinder Bueno Rolls, sooooo delicious and sooooo much goodness. While me? Same old Chocolate Chips Macaroons every year. My mum's friends love my recipe so, I'm good with making it every year. But I should come up with something different, right? Hmm.

Anyway, this is about it. I know this update isn't much because honestly, there's a lot that has been going on in my life lately; family, work, friends. But I feel that it's either too personal or I have already let go of the problem or whatsoever. I'm still learning, but I know how to let go of the bad things that make me angry, now. It's like, I no longer dwell on it so much anymore. I feel much better than before, when everything would be pent up and all. Still learning to be a better person, more positivity. :)

"Orang yang baik akan mendapat jodoh yang baik. Jadi, sebelum itu, perbaiki diri sendiri."

These words, I will forever remember. :)

Assalamualaikum, till my next post, InsyaAllah. :)