Meet Rachel, the best and most down-to-earth lecturer!

I will definitely miss her. Sigh.

Alhamdulillah! I've reached the finish line, officially, yesterday. The feeling was incredible, yet at the same time, I felt sad that it meant saying goodbye to the classmates I've grown to get used to seeing every morning.  Especially my closest gang. Fang Yi, my buddy, and Amielia and Shimah, who sit in front of us. I'll miss them the most because they're the ones who listen to my woes and who share the laughter with me. :'(

Now, I'm closing this chapter of my journey, and opening a new one. Today was the first day of working as a full time teacher and boy, was it tiring as hell. We had to help the workers move the boxes to Bay 2 because they were short of manpower. It was fine with me because seriously, gamelan instruments are way heavier than that. And besides, I've had experience with carrying heavy stuff and pushing them on trolleys. But the second time I had to push 4 boxes on the trolley, they fell in the middle of the road. I caused a jam of cars because of it but luckily, they were understanding about it cause I raised my hand to apologise. The banglas all ended up helping me hahahaha. Paiseh sia. They probably were thinking, "Alamak ni cikgu, dah la kurus lembik, nak step tolak 4 kotak." Hahahahaha!!!

My back hurts like crazy right now because I just got my period yesterday so the cramps come in full force today. Sigh.

So, here's the progress of the renovations for my classroom:

This was yesterday.  The place was a total mess. But they cleaned up today so, it's getting along fine. But the room is huge! Everytime I look at it, I stress myself out on how I'm supposed to decorate it. So today, when I had to go back there with my principal and the overall-in-charge-of-the-bangla-workers to choose which cabinet I want to have (you can see them in the picture. I chose the light cream one in between the brown and blue), I started to visualise on where my theme board would be, my weather chart and birthday chart, and so on and so forth.

It's so exciting yet nerve-wrecking! I waited one and a half year to finally OWN my OWN classroom. Hahahahahahahaha! Alhamdulillah, the wait was well worth it. :3

Okay, that's about it. Wish me luck as I embark on a newer journey as an early childhood educator. I'm nervous yet excited for the new school year! :D

Salam and may everyone be in the best of health! :3

Love, Fazz :3

Assalamualaikum!

Teacher Siti is feeling extremely stressed because renovation is almost done and she has no idea how to decorate her K2 classroom. Actually, she has an idea but, lacks the time and resources to get it down. Right now, she mostly focused on the learning centres' activities and task cards.

But, senyum saja. :)

I know I can do this. I always end up doing it better than I thought I would. It's just that, my spurts of creativity usually come at unexpected times instead of times that I actually need them. That's why I'm pretty stressed out because of it. But, gotta have faith. :)

Having a pretty bad headache right now. Sigh. I know I haven't been blogging much and I do need the space to vent out sometimes but my body just doesn't want to cooperate with me. I've been having very bad chest pain for the past one and a half week and it kills me inside. I can't laugh or talk loudly or just be myself, otherwise it'll hurt. But yesterday and today, it was gone, miraculously. I think I have to stop drinking hot tea. Mom said it's the one that makes your insides cold. So.... I've been drinking just semi-hot water. :)

That's about it. Haz is currently in London and I am so jealous. :(

I need a good break. Waiting for the next holiday: March.

Nah, December didn't feel like a holiday. >:(

Till my next post, InsyaAllah. :)

Half A Heart

Salam!

I thought I was gonna die today. After class ended today, all of a sudden, my chest squeezed in on me again. It's been happening too frequently, given the cold weather. So while I walked with my friends to the MRT, they all asked why I was so quiet. But that's because if I talk, or even laugh with them, I'd feel the pain. :(

All the way in the train to Lakeside, I tried to sleep. But the train was somehow moving to roughly, and every slight jerk made my chest hurt. I really don't know why I have this problem. The doctor said my heart was fine! >:(

So I immediately texted Ahmad about it, just to let him know (and also in case something happened to me along the way). I bought warm soya bean drink for the walk to his house but it didn't work. Even got the shock of my life when I saw a snake at the sheltered walkway from the MRT. Yes, a snake! Kind of like a tree snake. It was right in my path and zooming in on a bird on the grass. I was so terrified that I stopped and waited until the snake glided on the grass before I continued walking. Okay, pretty insignificant.

Anyway, I reached Ahmad's house safely but even as his mum started the session, I still felt the pain. I persevered on, because, well, just didn't want to trouble them with my pain. I just moved as minimally as I could. And as much as I just wanted to lie my head on the table, I just used my hand to support my head (LOL). Stress sia.

So when the whole session ended, his mum was in the kitchen preparing food, and that's when our dear Ahmad Mustaqim came in and gave me a big cup of hot, steaming milo. You know, whenever I had chest pain and I tell him about it, he'd tell me to drink something hot. Automatically. His theory is that I get chest pain because I'm cold. Or probably my insides are cold.

So when he put the hot milo on the table, I was like, "Is this for me?" In my head, I was like, "Please tell me this is for me." & when he said it was for me, I immediately drank it, even though it was kinda hot. Just needed the warmth.

& the pain gradually faded. It was faint, but still there. But the fact that he made the hot milo for me, it just touched me deeply. T.T

And not to mention the fact that during the ngaji session, I heard him azan for the first time. And it was so...... nice. It felt like his voice was touching the depths of my heart. :')

Thanks to him, I've learnt more in a year than I have in the past years. Blessed and thankful to have a figure like him in my life. :3

Anyway, this week, thanks to Kak Lina (one of my classmates), I learnt so much about parenting styles, and the kind of parent I want to be when I have my own kids. She gave a lot of tips (already has 3 kids) and also shared about her parenting style, the way she managed her children's behaviours as well as how she approached sensitive subjects like sexual education.

And I must admit, I really like her parenting style. If all my parents were like her, I swear, our classrooms would be peaceful everyday.

But the most important thing I realised that I learnt from her is her communication with her husband about how they raised their children. From the start, they discussed together about how they want to raise their children, what kind of punishment they would mete out, and they even tried the punishments on themselves first. I mean, this kind of husband-wife/father-mother communication is rare. Like, really, really rare. That's why I find Kak Lina just so, so inspiring. :B

Alright. What a nice long post. I have loads to do, starting with my classroom decoration. I went down to the school to see the renovation progress yesterday. And boy, have I loads to do because of the massive space I have now! Pretty excited and scared and nervous too! Hek hek. :B

Until my next post, InsyaAllah! Salam, and may you be in the best of health always! :3

Only half a blue sky

Kinda there - but not quite

I'm walking around with just one shoe

I'm half a heart without you

I'm half a man - at best

With half an arrow in my chest

'Cause I miss everything we do

I'm half a heart without you

& amidst all the mess, all I'm worried about is your safety.

You and your men who put yourselves in the line of danger.

For each and every shift, you have me always worried.

I'd spam your inbox just to make myself feel better.

But nothing comes back to me because you're so busy.

And that, I can understand.

But it sucks to be feeling this.

This restlessness.

I'm always so worried about you.

All I want is for you to be safe.

:(

Rough Water

Alhamdulillah! I feel so happy for her!

The long awaited day. :)

And finally meeting her son (from her first marriage)!

This boy is famous among us because she keeps updating her Facebook about him, and he's beyond cuteness!

And this is how we left our mark in the guestbook.

Drawing done up by Amielia.

I had to crack my brain so hard for the perfect words.

But it still turned out beautiful. :3
My first wedding invitation from a friend.
:)

So take a deep breath, and hold it tight 

My heart is yours just reassure me that you'll hold it right

Hey oh, never let go of me

Hold tight, it's gonna get hard to breathe

Never never let you drown

Even if we're going down

Hey oh, never let go of me

When I'm sinking