SAY HELLO TO HABIB, OUR BRITISH SHORTHAIR LILAC! :D

Getting a cat has always been one of our dreams. My sis and I waited a really long time for this moment. So yesterday, when I was out with Shaa and Nadeem, my sis called and said they were gonna go to the pet farm at Pasir Ris farmway so I was like, okayy... Then she called again and said my parents were thinking of getting one. & at that time, Shaa, Nd and me were at McCafe at Downtown and I almost screamed out in happiness. Heh. But they didn't get it though. Shaa, Nd and me were at the horse stables at PRP when we saw my family there too. My mum showed me a video of the cat they wanted, this exact cat! & she was like, "Abah say can can, better get cause very hard to persuade Abah." Hahaha, mak aku. Anyway, this morning, while I was watching Percy Jackson and the Olympians, my mum came home and asked us to get ready 'cause we're going to the cat place to buy. I was over the moooooooooon. There were two of the same breed but different colours. One was dark grey and this one is, a little lighter grey or so. The guy taught us how to bathe it and groom it and stuff. My mum was also damn excited. So we settled all the stuff; scratching post, carrier, food, litter, toys, shower stuff. The guy gave us a complete set of what we needed. So at least we know what to do. :D:D

So we let Habib roam around our house curiously. This little bundle is the cutest thing ever. He actually sneaked in between my crossed legs and curled up to sleep. But the most walaoeh thing he did was to actually sleep on my bed. What's worse, on Ahmad's hoodie. Banyak cantek muke die baring atas hoodie orang. Macam tak bersalah gitu. Haha. So far, we're doing good. Apart from Habib peeing on my sis's bed, and a while later, pooping on MY bed. -.- Baru first day, dah banyak cobaan. But I was having fun, seriously. Hopefully tomorrow, it'll stop sneezing. Even though it's cute when it sneezes, it worries me.

Anyway, we got some tips from cat owners as well. This still feels surreal, ya know. We waited so long for this. The only unfair part is Farah. She's only 5 and she got a cat now. While for my case, about 14 years since the first time I started loving cats. In a month's time, he'll be going for his third vaccination. This is so exciting. *screams like fangirl*

Will be going to IKEA tomorrow to get some organization stuff. Need to get the cat stuff organized.

Habibi, Habibi, Habibi ya ali baba! Shaa and Nadeem said the exact same thing to me. -.-

Alrighty, the cat has stopped meowing on the first night. So far so good. Now cat owner can go to sleep. Nights all!!! :D:D

Rizwan: Why is life so difficult? Simple; you don't see things at the point of view of a six year old.

This guy caught me crying silently in class and bugged me to tell him. It reminded me so much of Syai in Year 1, Sem 1, where Syai actually forced me to tell him everything so I confided all my problems in him. & it was the same with Rizwan too. Something about him reminded me of Syai, but it's different. Rizwan faced the same thing I did too, so I guess we're on the same boat. But talking to him made me feel slightly better. His girlfriend is a lucky girl. Treasure him, Melina. :)

So I guess that's about it. Actually, I'm really thankful to God for the friends I've found. Today, 2 people actually told me that they appreciated me. It's been so long since I've heard that from anyone, and with all the feelings I kept inside in the day, I broke down. Alone. In the room. Well, that's fine with me. But I never expected it today, especially not today. It didn't particularly make my day, but neither did it make me feel worse. I just don't know how to explain it.

I haven't cried like this since the night I woke up from that horrible dream. But I guess sometimes, all we need is a good cry to feel better. I'm gonna try settle everything by tomorrow.

Everyone's stressed too, you know. Always remember you have the Big Guy up there who knows every single thing about you especially on what's best for you. I remember something I read from Al-Kamil but translated to my understanding(gimme a break):

If your prayer has not been fulfilled, it could be because Allah has something better in store for you than what you have asked for. Or it could be because if Allah were to grant it, you would end up sinning even more. Or it could be because if Allah were to grant it, you would forget about Him once you are happy with what you asked for.

Sometimes, I find myself so contradicting. I know all these yet, I'm still so down on myself. Sorry I'm sucha deep and emotional person. Goodnight.

I really don't know where to rant. On FB and Twitter, everyone will see, and I don't want that. It's called drawing attention and that ain't my intention. Besides, if I rant on Twitter, there are people who are also in the same class as me and this sad son of a fill in the blanks. So, I'd rather not create more problems for myself.

I just counted. Now that it's Week 8, there is 7 more weeks left before I don't have to see this fuckface again. Yea, I'm pissed. The moment he stepped in class today, he grinned at me and said, You got boyfriend? like, a few times.

Mixed with the emotions I'm feeling right now, being angry is the last thing I need because it means I'll burst. & I don't want to burst.

I'm really really pissed with this person right now.

It's been a while since I did a proper post, huh? I do want to post, and I have alot to say, actually. But sometimes, when you have so much you want to say, you just can't find the words to describe them. My stomach is really giving me problems right now. I don't know what's wrong plus it's mixed with the dizzy spells I have lately and makes it all even worse. Too little water maybe?

I still remember Ahmad's words from so long ago. "Face your problems the way a graceful woman should. Be a stronger you, a you who is able to face challenges head on." (I think it was something like that. :p) I admit that my problems may not be comparable to those out there who face worser. But the thing is, in the last few years, I have faced a number of things that made me stronger and made me learn to be stronger. But sometimes, I catch myself wondering, if I'm happy at all that my life turned out this way. I've lost friendships, I've gained some, I've learnt, and I've grown. But is it right that things turned out this way?

I'm always told that I need to learn to let go. But how can I when the past has taught me valuable lessons that made me this way? That sometimes, even in friendships, there needs to be distance. That sometimes, you can't really trust a person with everything.

Well, I'm sorry for saying this. Something happened today that made me feel like letting it out here. But this is not even half of the story.

I've been struggling with myself the past few weeks. Sometimes, the truth just hurts so bad but all you can do is keep silent because there really is nothing you can do when things already got out of hand. But I've always stuck to my beliefs and I'd stick by them still. It's one of the things that keeps me going till this point. It takes a lot of patience to handle this kind of situations and I'm surprised I haven't burst yet.

This is why, when I suddenly remembered what Ahmad said, it hit me. Running away from my problems won't help, and neither would leaving it the way it is help. Right now, I'm figuring out how I'm going to set things right again. But it's impossible because always, in situations like these, someone is bound to get hurt.

Sometimes, I feel like I'm the bad person. Sometimes, I even blame myself. Anyone been on the same boat as me? Welcome aboard.

I don't really know what I should do right now. Even talking things out with people close to me, sharing and asking for advice, at the end of the day, it's still my decision to make.

I'm not the kind of person who'd leave without defending myself. Just remember that.

I think I'll just head to bed. I can feel a dizzy spell coming on. Tomorrow's class with the flirty boy. Ergh. Kill me.

I hope there'll be Balinese this Saturday. I kind of miss those Gongs. :(

My bro is in love.

He wouldn't admit it, though.

But apparently, it's not working out.

He's avoiding her.

For a simple reason: he's afraid.

Of getting hurt again, maybe?

So this is part of what Le Love posted today:

"I just wanted to say that to anyone who is going through something right now, because I'm in a state of heart broken heartedness, and over my best friend that I have loved to the core of my soul for about 3 years of my life. But unfortunately he doesn't feel the same. He wants to find something better I presume and I'm not that. I've sometimes felt unworthy of love and inadequate, almost useless. But one day I'm gonna get over it and I'm going to find love and love will find me back. And to those who are broken, it may not seem like it now, but take me for example with such an emotional attachment like mine it cannot be overcome in a day. But I know it's gonna happen for me."

This is for you, Syaiful Amiril. :)

I realize today that I'm afraid of betrayals.

& I don't want to be betrayed ever again.

But who can stop that right?

Till here. Nights.

I still remember the dream so clearly. It's been 3 days since the night I woke up at 2.48am, crying my heart out. I confided in Shaa and Nadeem the other day. & they laughed at me. I've never had a dream that could make me cry that bad. Yes, I've cried in my dreams before and woke up with tears on my face, but they were never this bad to the point where I couldn't stop crying. I had to try and calm down, go to the toilet, angkat wudhu and solat malam. Sigh. Ever since then, when I go to sleep, I would pray that I wouldn't ever dream of such a similar thing ever again. :(

Well, I haven't got anything to say actually. So, nights. :)

Hi budak lelaki yang tengah kat Malacca sekarang.

Happy 22nd month! :D

<3

I had a great getaway with my family over this weekend. Like having lunch over at Century Square yesterday and then randomly walking through Best Denki to look at the XBOX360 Kinect kiosk. & all of a sudden, my parents decided to buy for Farah. & that's not all! They actually bought the 250GB set, and it cost $649! Seriously, when my parents splurge, the price does not even bother them. -.- Mentang2 skarang dah banyak duit. LOL.

After we actually set up the XBOX at home, we actually went all the way to White Sands just to get more games. But the games were too costly, so I actually sought help from Nadeem since he had a lot of 'lobangs'. HAHA. I've already prepared my list of games that I want to get. Heh.

& today, was the photoshoot. Apparently not what I had in mind but it was still quite okay. The pictures will be printed out in 3D, though I have no idea how that will be done. The irritating part is the Indian family was there so me and sis were pretty much annoyed by the end of the day. But it was fun, talking and joking with Dad, and making fun of the baby on the tram. HAHA.

When we reached home, I actually decided to continue FYP. Then I heard shouting outside, and realized they were all playing the Kinect Sports. Kekek giler. The Javelin part had everyone so kecoh. They were challenging who can throw the furthest. While I was stuck doing codings by myself in the room. Sigh.

Gonna be so lost for the next 5 days even though I've faced worse. Haha. I'm not sure what to do besides going for FYP and GNK. Hmm.

Can't wait till Lisa uploads my cut of the Running Man game. Hilarious to the max, I swear! HAHAHA!!!!

Right, nights, my babies! Sleep tight! :D:D

All these years, I've always stuck to my beliefs.

& one of them was,

"Biar orang buat jahat pada kita, jangan kita balas dengan jahat juga. Biar Allah yang balas mereka."

This has gotten me through the years, I swear it has.

& now, it's really what I need.

& I told Shaa today, "No wonder they say the truth hurts."

She agreed with me, and Shaa being Shaa, she's one of the people I know who gives good, honest advice.

Seriously, this is not my week.