Didn't get it.
I don't get it either. What I did wrong, where I did wrong, what I didn't do that wasn't enough to show that I was really keen?
Maybe I just wasn't meant to get it through this. It's okay. When one door closes on you, there is always another door that will open.
I must believe.
Gawd, so demotivated right now.
Mum is complaining that I should work longer hours so that I won't have to work on so many days and waste money on transport. I agree with her, but I'm actually just taking it slow by working short hours so that my body can get used to it. Once I know my body can take it, I will work the longer shifts. But the thing about my mum is, I tell her repeatedly, she still won't understand. Soo, never mind. I've already taken a couple of 8-5 slots for next week so we shall see how it goes. It doesn't matter how many days I work as long as I hit 20 hours each week. So I did my calculation and if I were to work two 8-6 shifts and one 1-8 shift, I'll be hitting 24 hours, minus off the break times. So I guess that should be okay.
FYI in about 2 weeks' time, full house shows. & we haven't even tightened our repertoire yet. I barely even practised yet! Sigh. Will be rushing down from work tomorrow to RP for the practice. I really missed gamelan alot.
One of the customers I served today was an angmoh guy with the most bluest eyes ever. It's like, wowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww~~~~~~
I'm off to sleep now. Super long day tomorrow. 9am to 11am = teaching. 1pm to 6.30pm = UQ. 7pm to 9pm = GA.
Being too busy isn't good. But it means making a living on my own without relying on my parents. For once. :D
Till my next post, InsyaAllah. :D
I had fun the past 3 days. I honestly did. But it's sad to say that I couldn't get to spend as much quality time as I wanted with the one that matters most. I miss him. He said he missed me. But when we finally have 3 days to ourselves, it felt to me like we didn't spend enough time together. I don't know if I expected too much from the start but I'd really hoped to spend more time with him. I understand that he was tired, I understand that he had a lot of things to do. But we barely had this much free time with each other around, and we didn't make the most out of it.
It saddens me even more that our 31st month didn't even feel like a monthsary. It felt like just another day. Or maybe it's just me. Emotional, sensitive me.
I was glad I had friends to hang out with through both nights that I tried not to sleep. Because I knew this is the only time left that I have with them before we graduate. Who knows, after graduation, everyone goes their separate ways and it will get harder to arrange gatherings like this again? I had so much fun last night till 5am playing Monopoly Deal with Fahmi, Alfian, Alia, Mai and Siti Nurul. Laughing at Shaa freaking out at a huge lizard on the ceiling. Heart to heart talks with Fahmi and Mai. I can't get these kinds of moments the same way ever again. & I wish you had been there to share that with me.
I guess what I'm really feeling is just disappointment. Or maybe, I should have tried harder. Because after this, I have nothing but work work and work. Our chance to spend time together is gone. Sigh.
On a brighter note:
Our beloved boy, Habib, has officially turned 1 year old today.
:3
Hello hello kopi ke milo!!!!
I sincerely apologize for the lack of updates, if there are still people following this little blog. It's been empty, hasn't it? Very little updates the past months. Sigh. What to do, I can get so busy sometimes.
But this time, I really am busy. I even needed a monthly planner to write down important dates and events. & it really helped, especially since I started working at Uniqlo. The working shifts are flexible, which is why I had to write them down in case I forget. They don't tolerate latecomers or no call, no shows. Also, there are Gamelan shows to take note of as well. & teaching!
Teaching on Mondays have started to become really fun. I've finally managed to grab the class's attention with fun activities during their learning. And the very naughty boy called Ron has started to cooperate, even though he can be very vulgar for his age. I have a few favourite students as well though. This girl who is apparently the class monitress called Kai Ling, and this boy called Jarius. He seems to be really passionate about learning Malay. Everytime he sees me waiting at the canteen, he'd stop and greet me, "Selamat petang, Cikgu Siti!" Some kids can be so cute!!!!
Now, Uniqlo. Yeah, the first week was damn, damn tiring for me as this is obviously my very first job. The assistant manager who trained me, Yvonne, was really nice and when she found out this was my first job, she was shocked 'cause she said Uniqlo as your first job can be physically draining. So I guess that mentally prepared me for the upcoming week. But it has been a week since I joined and I've survived! I kinda like it, even though one bad encounter with a customer almost made me quit. That's why I always check my blind spots whenever I walk around the shopfloor. The working shifts are flexible so I could build my shifts around Gamelan so that I won't miss practices. Gamelan as in GA and GSM. I don't know why I can't work out a timetable around GNK. I just can't seem to get a shift that would enable me to come for a 1-4 practice. Anyway, back to work. I love working at fitting room the most. It's damn, damn, damn fun. I hate having to fold the jeans at the jeans shelves because customers can just come up with stupid questions or requests. Sigh.
A couple of days back, I went for a 1 day attachment at Serangoon My First Skool. Since I'm interested in the early childhood sector with NTUC First Campus, they sent me on this attachment for me to really decide that I want this field and also for the principal to assess if I'm suitable to be in this sector. I learnt alot, observed alot and managed to have a long talk with one of the teachers. That day was the day I realized, finally realized for real, that my passion really is teaching. I really hope they accept me in the Trainee Teacher Scheme. I've been praying so hard for it. I just hope they don't call while I'm at work. That would be so suay.
Okay. What else is new? Hmm. Oh, Khloe still hasn't emailed about my 35mm adapter and it's annoying the hell out of me. Ugh.
Okay, really, what else can I say? Uhhhh, kay I think I'm done here! Hahaha. Looks like I'll be updating weeks later. Haha, joking. I swear I miss Melbourne. I feel like going back there to retake lomo pictures. The picture above was probably the nicest out of the whole roll that I developed. Sigh. Okay, I'm done.
See you in my next post, Insyallah! Till then, stay safe and in the best of health always. Love, Faz. :)
If you could only just stop stop stop running
If you could only take a second to breathe it in
Everything that you know would be beautiful
Like you
You know they're never gonna stop stop stop your love
Let's pretend that the world is waking up
Everything that we see is beautiful
Like you
Like you
My dearest cat just can't get any cuter.
Anyway, tomorrow is finally and hopefully the last UT paper that I will ever sit for. I'm praying like crazy that I will be able to graduate safely from RP and finally chase my dreams. :)
I've been reading a book called The Cinderella Society by Kay Cassidy. & it's really nice. I know it's just a freaking book but I can't help but to quote something the "Prince Charming", as they called him, said.
"Because when I'm with you, I can almost see the guy I used to be. That's why I didn't want to sit at the round tables on our first date. I didn't want you to see that part of my life. I didn't want it to scare you off. But I screwed up anyway, because I couldn't get past it myself. You make me want to be a better person just so I'm worthy of you. You're beautiful and smart, you care about people, and you stand up for what you believe in. I'm in awe of you most of the time."
That's really sweet because it touched me a little. But nothing beats The Pact by Jodi Picoult. That book is the sweetest of all sweetest.
Okay. Busy week ahead. & I mean, reeeally busy week ahead. Bismillah.
So, how should I say my week went?
Well, I suddenly had some kind of good luck this week. I got the part-time job at Uniqlo, and was posted to ION. This story was funny. Haz and me were at Compass Point Macs for a late lunch after my teaching ended. Oh, please don't get me started on how the class went. For primary 3 kids, they're really rude. I am shocked myself. Anyway, we were talking about everything when suddenly my phone vibrated. We both stared at the unknown number together and I picked it up. At first, I thought it was Recruit Express (-.-), so I was prepared to reject any offer if it clashes with my Gamelan timings. The person on the other side asked if I was Faz, and then said, "I am calling from Uniqlo." I immediately sat up in my sit EXCITEDLY. & Haz was like, "Who? Who?" & I was mouthing, UNIQLO! Hahahahaha. Yada, yada, yada, after I hung up, I was like, Oh-my-god. & then suddenly Haz's phone vibrated. Same number. We got too overexcited and I almost screamed. People were already staring at us by then and I was flapping my hands excitedly. Haz composed herself and answered the call. When she finished, we couldn't stop high-fiving each other. The next day, we went down to Somerset to sign the paperwork. I'm starting on the 24th. Got some tips from Shaza earlier just now, so I'm looking forward to it. Maybe might even see her since we're both at the same outlet. Did I mention Haz got posted to Vivocity? :(
Second stroke of luck is finally getting the salary from Ivory Metal. I'm still trying to control my spending. I just bought two shoes yesterday. Sigh. I am so gonna develop the film photos next week. How long has it been? 2 years. Sorry, Mustaqim.
So, I guess that's about it. UT3 in full swing next week. I hope to breeze through it. It sucks when you're doing your exam and you're confident it's the right answer, but later on, you think it might be wrong. You know how demotivating that is? Ugh.
I have teaching again on Monday, ughhhh. Now I'm no longer excited for it anymore. I've got the naughtiest class in my hands, with one of them being the most rudest boy I have ever met. So far. I have to replace Faezah on the 29th this month at Yio Chu Kang Primary. I just really hope the students are not like Mee Toh. I can just DIE.
I think my throat just needs to get used to shouting every Monday. :/
Okay, till here. Gotta continue revising. 3 more UTs to go and I have unofficially graduated from RP!! :D:D
If it's very painful for you to criticize your friends - you're safe in doing it. But if you take the slightest pleasure in it, that's the time to hold your tongue.
She was looking really fabulous last night. & I had fun people-watching with her while we sat and ate. TK was the MC, and he was pretty awesome. He's like a natural, and I won't be surprised if one day he appears on TV. :D
So anyway, last night was fun except the part where we had to wait for the dance floor segment to end so we could get on with the lucky draw. They all danced for one hour! Gosh. Sadia kept going from us back to dance floor back to us again then back to dance floor again. Repeatedly. It's so funny! & Haz was super paranoid with the way she looked. Sigh. The next time I will see her dress up so fab is on her wedding day. Haiya....
Anyway, I was so tired this morning I had to drag my feet out the door to go for Balinese rehearsal. Serious, sheesh, serious. I even didn't know what time it was. Ahmad called when I was at the circle line platform at Paya Lebar and I was talking like a person who just woke up from sleep. & I was confidently saying, "I will reach there no later than 1.30." Padahal dah 2 o'clock! He pointed that out and I was like so paiseh! HAHA!
Habib and Shyme are chasing each other in and out of the room as I'm typing here. Sungguh irritating. Texted Liyana earlier, been a while since I met that girl. It's hard to meet up with friends when you're working or when you have a busy schedule. It sucks even more when you try to fit them in your schedule and they complain that you're not trying hard enough. It sucks more than that when they say you have more time for your other friends than them. What's wrong with you people, honestly? Dah bagos orang nak tepikan time untuk kau, tak tau bersyukur pe?
Anyway, had a long chat with Liyana. Really miss her. Been a while since we went to lepak at Ya Kun @ Changi Airport. Haha. That's like our standard place to lepak. Sit like nyonya, drink kopi ke milo, gossip-gossip. :D
Okay, I'm actually multi-tasking between typing here and doing my Business Finance UT3 notes. I just realized exactly how much formulas I have to understand again. Gawd, I regret taking this module. When I thought there won't be any calculations, there is! Plus using excel as well. Like what the.... I can't even.....
My first class ever on Monday. Balinese performance at Canadian International School on Wednesday. Shall bring laptop on Tuesday before GA practice to continue doing whatever notes I have left.
I'm scared. I'm just really scared.
