Take me away to someplace I can wind down

Sometimes, I do have second thoughts about staying put at this place.

I can't deny I love my job.

It's the people, the management, the human resource that makes it all so tough.

The awful stress put on us

The unfair judgement and decisions made

All these jeopardize our efficiency and work productivity

Weekdays and weekends are all spent on doing work

Family time, self time are all affected

What more can you take away from us?

I feel bad enough that I requested for taking Nursery because of the exemptions that I want from my degree, so that I don't have to pay another $8K for the practicum.

I don't get why no one can understand where I'm coming from., that I don't have a bloody choice.

I don't get why people ask why there is even such a thing.

Why would I intentionally do it for my own benefit?

If I could take the K1s, I would because I feel I'm competent enough.

But giving me both Nursery and K1, you'll kill me faster.

On top of my degree assignments, I'd have to do the learning centres alone in the class.

You'll just have to be prepared for me to under-perform.

To say that I sacrificed a lot for my job is an understatement.

I don't want to have to sacrifice my happiness too.

Doing this will solve your problems, but it would only be the beginning of my suffering.

And it'll be 2014 all. over. again.

I'm just incredibly tired of everything.

Salam!

Baking sharing time!

(Just to break from my 1K word assignment. Sigh.)

I made rainbow cheesecake 2 weekends ago!

This was how it turned out:

Biscuits!

Blended to a pulp and then mixed with melted butter.

Super yummy just to eat like that but... well. 

My cream cheese (some Royal brand)

While waiting for the cheese to soften to room temperature, I put them biscuits in the cups to freeze.

The best part:

Mixing the cream cheese with the strawberry yoghurt and gelatine.

The worse part:

Weighing the batters so that I'd get equal portions.

I had to crane my neck for such a long period of time.

But Alhamdulillah, they turned out great!

Reviews were good but the cups were just too big so it looked empty.

Hahahahaha.

Well, how was I to know that the recipe was going to give me such a small batter?

But I loved it. It's not sour, or muak. It's just nice.

Not too bad for a first time. :B

The past couple of weeks have been crazy for me. At least my work isn't as stressful as it used to be. I've got an understanding partner and a very artistic and helpful assistant teacher (even though she's considered a senior teacher). Did I mention that my principal offered me her position? I rejected though. I'm not ready for a supervisory position with so little experience in this field. Plus, I didn't have the leadership qualification yet and I'm currently taking my degree. She said she could help to propose for the company to sponsor my leadership diploma if I ever want to consider. But, hmm, I may not even want to take on a sponsorship. With the WDA funding, I only need to pay about $3K, and there's an instalment plan of $68. I mean, I would prefer paying on my own because at least I can secretly study so that they won't make me principal while studying. I just can't handle the stress with assignments. *insert muka ketawa gelak-gelak here because Faz so cunning* Well, I do know that if they sponsor me, I would have to take a principal position because they're always in need of principals.

That's the plan. LOL.

I love my job. I really do. The demands drive me crazy sometimes because work piles up faster than my hands can work on them. Yet, I feel like I accomplish more than I intended in each passing day, no matter how small the deed was. The children, needless to say, make me happy. Yes, teaching Nursery level is pretty challenging because of the slower language development but it still brings me satisfaction when the children smile or hug me or greet me or even achieve something small like EAT THEIR FRIGGIN' FOOD (don't get me started on that kid). I love my teaching position, I love teaching kids, and that's something I don't want taken away from me because that's what will happen if I become principal. I actually planned to take it on when I'm in like, my 30s or something. And then when I'm tired of it, I'd go into lecturing.

My mum wants me to continue on to take a Master's degree but I don't have the confidence for that. In this field, a Master's means lots, lots of research and portfolios. Portfolios means lots and lots of observations and analysis, supporting with theories from our old white men, which is something that drives me insane even at Bachelor's degree level. :(

I'm scared to tell her I don't want to go higher. That a Bachelor's is enough for me. A Master's would drive me over the edge. Plus, I'm starting to feel tired. All these research ain't easy, buddy. Pffft. My textbooks get thicker and even more thicker. I flip and flip the pages for research and I get paper cuts. Hardworking sangat, bro. :p

I guess this is pretty much my update. For now. Great movies coming up this year! So excited for ted 2!!!!!!

Alrighty, I'll stop here. Till the next time, InsyaAllah. Salam! :3

Getting here, InsyaAllah...