It took us 9 years to go see Christmas lights together.

I was such a happy little girl last night. :D

As the year starts to draw to a close, I am currently reflecting on how it went. The first half of the year was a blur, what with leaving my job and getting engaged all. Not to mention the Ramadhan drama, the worst of all years. Things got better in the second half, Alhamdulillah, now that my helper is back.

But then, I went back to leaving my job after barely 6 months at the Cheriehearts Elias Mall. This centre was a horror not just in terms of the environment but also because of the management and lack of system. This week alone revealed the ugly culture that the team had. My goodness, *smacks forehead*. Nevertheless, I really hope that my next job is the one I can stay in for the long run so that I can grow and develop in my career. Still got a long way to go!

I’m not going to share about my experience at CH. I’m just gonig to be optimistic that there are better things out there, better opportunities and better people. InsyaAllah.

2019 will be an exciting year, especially with the wedding preparations and most importantly, the saving up. I haven’t really felt the stress/pressure yet even though I have like a million things to do with regards to the wedding but I’m just gonna take it slow and enjoy the little moments along the journey. Why make the wedding planning a stressful memory to remember right? Let me just maintain my cool girl image k HAHAHAHA.

But really, my family members and aunts question why I’m so relaxed. Ahmad was warning me the other day not to turn into bridezilla later on. Hahaha, InsyaAllah no. All that I worry about (on a daily basis) is my savings. :)

Anywaysssss! Here’s to a better year ahead! A year of patience, a year of growth, a year of love. Amin! 

Girl Talk: The Engagement

6 months since, and counting.

Nobody knows except for close friends and family.

Still feeling so blessed everyday.

The journey to get to this wasn’t an easy one. I went ring hunting one too many times and mostly with Zaff. I wasn’t that enticed by anything I saw until we got to Tampines One’s Venus Tears. Zaff was like, “Gurl, this ring is so you!” so that’s how we ended up with this simple 3 tiny diamonds Rose Gold Amour Amulet ring. It took about 2 months for the actual ring to arrive from Japan too. It’s personalized and hand-crafted so that’s why. Still love it though (but rarely use it also heh). I’m not a jewellery kinda girl. At some point in my adulthood/working years, I stopped wearing bracelets and rings and headbands and dangling brooches. See my mood lorr.

Anyway, that weekend was a busy one. On Saturday, I cleaned the whole house down like crazy. (Honestly, this year has been nothing but challenging, but that’s a story for another day.) My sis went to get flowers for the house and a bouquet of dried lavender for me. She was looking forward to taking our photos on film. She even had a haircut all. *rolls eyes* 

Anyway, I met Ahmad in the evening to pick up the ring at the shop at Tampines. Since we ordered the ring and it would only arrive in 2 months, the shop gave us a sample ring for the engagement day (which was the next day). So we picked up the ring and boy, did it feel so real! Honestly, the journey to get to this point wasn’t an easy one. There were hiccups and misunderstandings along the way, and lots of arguing with my sister and mom. But well, no need for details.

When Ahmad’s family arrived (his parents, nenek and Ahmad of course), we were all ready. My parents were making small talk with his family in the living room when me and my sister had a little kitchen crisis. I was really close to freaking out hahaha but then my mom entered the kitchen and asked what happened to serving the drinks. We quickly cleaned up the mess and served the drinks and that’s when the discussion started. 

My dad was so calm and collected. His points all fitted together and he sounded so wise and I really admired him so much that day you can literally see the hearts coming out from my eyes. My dad talked about how marriage is a huge and important step for us both and that he as a parent will do his part to prepare me for it. And Ahmad should also prepare himself accordingly. After the discussion was over, they took out the ring. Ahmad’s nenek was damn cute cause she totally teared up and cried. I didn’t know how to comfort her cause how do you, right? She hugged and kissed me all. I haven’t seen her this emotional so I can’t imagine later on our wedding day. Hahahaha.  

Alhamdulillah, first official family meeting went well. Must take picture for keepsake right? So kids, this was how I took the first step with your dad. HAHAHAHA.

So it ended with lunch and a mini photoshoot downstairs courtesy of my sister who insisted for films. The pictures turned out really great too and the picture you see below is one of my favourites.

There’s another with my face and that’s on Ahmad’s phone wallpaper. Hahaha, but I shy la want to post it here.

Honestly speaking, this post took me 3 months to draft. Blogging from my ipad is proving to be tougher and tougher. But anyway, Alhamdulillah, it has been 8 months now since the engagement. We both shared out engagement with only close friends and family. We didn’t want to make a big deal out of it and just want to keep it simple. 

And ever since then, we’ve settled the bridal, photography and Ahmad’s reception stuff. For me, I’ll just need to confirm my venue and catering in January, InsyaAllah. My baju nikah has also been designed too! Ahmad also settled his baju nikah in Vietnam. (P.S Please lose some weight mudd.) We’re currently still discussing the honeymoon destination hahahahaha.  

It’s gonna be a busy year ahead up to the wedding day and I sure am looking forward to everything that 2019 has in store for us. It may not be easy, but as long as we have faith, we can overcome anything, InsyaAllah! 

Till here, folks! Not sure how long my next hiatus is but honestly, I have a lot I should talk about. Soon.  Soon. 

Byeeee~~~

It has been nothing but a struggle for me.

Trying my best to keep the peace proved to be a tough feat.

Yet, I tried my best to persevere, to hold it together, to be the neutral middle person as best as I can.  

I can never understand what you’re going through and all I can do is sympathize.

You’re both so similarly headstrong and stubborn that it frustrates me 24/7 of the time.

But that’s what family is.

We’ve always had our ups and downs as a family.

But we persevered and got through everything, as a family too.

We’ll get through this together.

I’ll always keep this family in my prayers.

I don’t understand why I am being treated this way.

I don’t understand why you only can see it in one perspective.

I will never say you deserve it but some things you do makes me think that maybe it’s a sign from Him to change your ways before iti’s too late.

I’m not saying I’m a saint. I have my days where I can’t deal with it either.

But at least even I know I’m not as rude to her as you are.

At least I know I don’t hurt her feelings even though she hurts mine all the time.

Ever since those things happened during Ramadhan this year, you get away with so many things now and it’s unfair for me to shoulder things alone.

This past weekend has gotten me more tired than I’ve ever felt.

But I can never say all these to you because of your temper and defensiveness.

At some point, I realized that I got too sick and tired of your attitude that even I let you get away with a lot of things.

But why?

Why do I have to do this too?

I just don’t understand.

Salam!!!

Hellooooo! I’m alive and back on track! Hahahahahaha. Well, first of all, I AM JOBLESS!!!! I decided, after much consideration, planning and careful thinking, to take a break for the whole of July. This is already the end of my second week of break, homaigad time flies so fast when you’re having fun. I’ve been mostly out with friends and Ahmad, and going for interviews. Because I have the luxury of time, I’m actually taking my time in choosing a suitable centre. I’ve been targetting the international schools actually, but so far, there has been no response because it’s the summer break right now. I should have like, applied earlier but I was doing my notice period and I didn’t want to clear leaves just for interviews. Honestly, I regret that now hahaaha but what to do. I’ve been to many interviews I lost count but that’s another story to tell.

Anyway, I am very much focused on enjoying my break as much as I can. Catching up with friends is one of the best things for sure. It’s so nice to know what they’ve been up to and reminisce on younger days slash poly days mostly. I’m turning 27 this year and school years really feel so far away, as though it was a lifetime ago. We’ve been so quickly sucked into working life and dealing with people in general on top of the daily challenges of our respective jobs. And not forgetting the adulthood responsibilities like paying for the bills, supporting the family, saving for the future and so on. Despite that, I am really happy and thankful for what I have achieved in the short 6 years that I’ve been in the education industry. Alhamdulillah. *inserts namaste emoji”

I promised before that I would share what has been happening in my life. Man, where do I start? My previous job at Punggol first then. Wah. What do I say man? When I first joined last year, I was honestly happy and could actually envision myself staying long-term with the company. But then, 2018 came and all of a sudden, it was like BAM in my face. The management suddenly became shitty. I endured this for 4 months and then decided I had enough so I threw the resignation letter on my principal’s table. I was the first to resign, followed by 2 others (LOL). The 2-month notice period also revealed alot of bad things about the company so my decision to leave was definitely a good one and not like, an impulse thing. I timed my leaves to clear such that every week during the notice period, I get a day off or half day off.

Despite the negative experience in the first half of 2018 at this centre, I can’t say I didn’t learn anything either. I learnt the importance of team work and team spirit. The culture of helping each other in a workplace is so, so, so, super duper important. I learnt and reflected on the kind of teacher, mentor and leader I want to see myself become in the future. The best leader (hands down) is definitely the one at PCF. Sigh. Leadership is not an easy role to take, guys. It’s a make it or break it kind of thing.

The last negative thing (and this one really shook me in anger by the way) was when I found out about something on my 2nd last day at the centre. To cut the story short, someone fitnah me la ah. I confronted the director about it but because these two idiots are best friends, the one who fitnah me got away with it. But honestly speaking, why why why would I ever tell someone NOT to become principal at a centre? Who am I? It’s not even in my place to tell that person what to do or not to do. I couldn’t understand why such people exist in the world. Penipu haram betul.

So much for wanting to leave in peace. I was a harmless person there and someone cari pasal with me. You all win company of the year la please. So annoying. But anyway, I’m over all that. Why waste energy holding a grudge right?

So here I am today. Of all the interviews that I went to so far, I liked today’s company the best. The company’s beliefs towards their staff and stakeholders really impressed me. Plus, it was the first time that I had a panel of 2 interviewers at the same time so I could actually assess whether they were both on the same page while they were sharing information about the centre’s operations and stuff like that. So they will get back to me about the remuneration package in a few days. I actually feel now like I should lower my salary expectations. Some companies just cannot pay because they’re not Shaws. Hahahaha.

I was out with Zaff after the interview and while we were having my very late lunch, I received an email. For the position. “Overseas English Teacher”. I was MINDBLOWN. Zaff was beyond excited hahaha. But let me just be clear first: I was shortlisted for an interview je. It’s not like I got the job already. So the overseas posting will be at China and according to the company’s website, it will be at Shenyang/Chengdu. Now, I am familiar with NEITHER. So Zaff and me were Googling it and all during lunch and the train journey home. She was excited for me because it’s a great opportunity. Plus, the remuneration package and benefits were quite good. Accomodation, insurance etc are covered. Quite a good deal right? It’s great to have supportive friends.

Well, it’s even better to learn today that I have a GREAT fiancé. He was like “Whatever the decision, you have my fullest support.” *inserts crying emoji x8843743205839257)

However, I don’t really have my hopes up for this though. I mean, it is still a great opportunity and all and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t excited. But of course, I had my concerns. As this will be a contracted thing of 2 years commitment, what if I breached it at like 1 year? Maybe due to unforeseen circumstances, you’d never know. Nevertheless, if it’s my rezeki to receive this opportunity to grow myself personally and professionally, I will accept it for sure. My friend accepted a job a Sydney but it doesn’t come with benefits like provided accomodation expecially. She had to source out her own accomodation and Sydney is soooo expensive. So yeah, if you’re gonna consider working overseas, the remuneration and benefit package better be attractive.

In other news, or rather, old news (haha), I’ve been engaged for almost 3 months already!!! *inserts shocked emoji* Alhamdulillah! Time really flies, man. Like legit. We are down to...let me count...15 months to the big day! *inserts more shocked emoji* Where has the time gone? It feels like yesterday that we were sitting in W35F secretly stalking each other. I got lucky. Like really lucky and blessed. The wedding plans... Ah, don’t get me started. My savings are not non-existent, but it’s not a substantial amount either. Hahahahaha. But it’s okay. We take it slow, one step at a time. Find a job first, then eat grass till next year. Hahahahaha. I’m kidding. We cleared his side’s reception venue which is a whole package at Concorde Hotel. I’ve settled the deposit for the bridal services already too. Currently, we’re deciding on a photography company and because he’s leaving it to me to decide cause it’s kinda my area of expertise in a certain sense, I’m feeling the pressure a little hahaha. It’s okay. All will be well, InsyaAllah. Gotta have faith in my decision making skills.

Okay, it’s really late already. I’m screwed if I were to start working soon cause my body clock switches off like in the wee hours of the morning. Not enough rest like that. I have to clean the house too in the morning so I better go. Wow, it really feels so good to be able to blog again. Yay! Till next time then. Salam!

Over a month late but better late than never, right?

Alhamdulillah! We’re officially engaged!

I’ve actually got lots to update. It’s been a while since I last blogged/posted.

But it’s not only because I was busy, but because I couldn’t figure out how to blog from my iPad. 

*insert noob emoji here*

My style has always been to include a picture with my posts but Blogger just could NOT access my iPad photo stream. 

So, I dragged on and on from last year till now.

Update: My Macbook finally died on me. My last post was before it died hahaha.

But anyway, I finally figured it out on my iPad!

So, here’s my favourite engagement film photo that my sis took of us on 29th April.

That day was just perfectly magical.

*heart eyes*

I’ll be back with proper long updates because I just miss blogging in general.

So much has happened so I’ve gotta put all that down in words. 

This blog has been my diary for almost 10 years now.

And over the years, I blogged less hahaha.

Wow, adulthood is hard.

Till next time.