You Belong With Me

This is for you, NATASHA YOW HISHAM !!

You know I'll always be here for you.

:)))

Phew. What a weekend. It started out bad (Friday), but Saturday was AWWSOME, even though I was down with a 38.1 degree fever that morning. HAHA. Bonsai Garden is preeeeeetttyyy. & jamming was niceeeee. The Gone So Young song was niceeeee. & Shak, as usual, superrrr funny.

Yesterday, I superr screwed up my side of gong. Superrr tired, superrr blur, superrr nervous, superrr in pain. & the worst thing, I actually forgot to bring my notes. Mirah almost killed me in the train. Haha. & ehh, Ahmad lost his concentration on drums just 'cause Farah pointed him out to my daddy dearest. Hahahahahahahahahahha. Wish that was caught on video. Muke confirm panicked.

Finished up the drawings for Mum's poster thingy, which reminds me, I have yet to cut them out. Bummer. & ohh!! I can never get over Ahmad being so geli geli. He's so ticklish la, poke a bit, dah toink. Hahahahahaahahahah. It's so fun to make him ticklish like that. Heh. Heh. Heh.

You can never truly understand until you become a parent. What you'd do to make your child happy, to give them what they want, to keep them alive.

Did I mention that Mum had a wedding cupcakes display on Thursday at Sheraton Hotel? OHMYGAWD, damn awesome, and freaking nice. & the whole ballroom setup had the theme red and purple, and they used violets and RED ROSES. Beautiful, simply gorgeous.

I'm in love, man, am in love.

Heh, got a date with Mirah on Thursday, another one with Natasha on Friday. Awesome pe.

Oh, I remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night

I'm the one who makes you laugh when you know you're about to cry

And I know your favorite songs and you tell me about your dreams

Think I know where you belong

Think I know it's with me

I laughed like shit.

Sisto laughed worst than me.

& even after I stopped, she was still laughing.

Credits to Nat's Tumblr.

Was in pain the whole day.

Slept the day away, hoping the pain would go away.

But it didn't.

It still hurts as I type here right now.

& my head hurts.

Dad said it's cause I slept after Asar till Maghrib.

Which is "not good".

& he nagged and nagged and nagged.

Was too weak to fight back so I just listened.

New moon out next week!!

Can't wait, can't wait, can't wait!!!

& Sisto dreamt of me and Ahmad.

& it's really weird.

Pfffft.

& oh, Martin reminds me of Jim Carrey sometimes.

But of course, nothing beats PAUL.

<3

How cool is zat?

I'm so tired.

Glad the weekend's here.

Oh! I forgot.

I'll be damn busy.

Sighs.

Someone went to school today with a sticker stuck to her jeans where everyone can see it.

& that moron is me.

Thank you.

:)

This is just too lovely.

I'm not sure of what to do. I mean, even with the new painkillers, it still hurts, and what's the point of taking them when all I'll get is drowsiness, and nausea (which I didn't, which is like, thank god!). I don't know how long I can take the pain. Liyana said go KK. I'm considering it, I really am. But lately, Mum has too much on her mind and I don't have the heart to bother her with what I'm going through, even though I should.

Shall wait for Sisto to come back from her camp. Get some advice from her, even though I already know what she'll say. -.-

Hoh great, I'm feeling dizzy now. Stupid meds, stupid meds. The pain is never gonna go.

I'm in pain, I'm tired, I'm sleepy, I'm dizzy, I'm fucking irritated, so don't fucking piss me off today. Thank you.

PARTY MARTY!

I GUESS THIS IS WHY GIRLS LOVE MARTIN JOHNSON SO MUCH.

*MELTS*

*MELTS*

*MELTS*

*MELTS*

*MELTS*

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~~~~~

*I'M STILL MELTING*

HIS VOCALS ARE JUST TOO AWWSOME.

I WANNA HEAR PAUL SING!

Have always love this movie, out of the 3.

Will collect them for Farah when she's a wee bit older.

Hahah.

My side still hurts where she kicked at it last night.

Sigh.

His eyelashes are to die for.

*melts*

*melts*

*melts*

I still don't know why people prefer Martin.

Sure, his blue eyes are hoooomygod.

But Paul is also as hoooomygod.

Thanks to Natasha for this.

Well, I guess I just gotta stay optimistic, right?

Oh wells, what to do, that's life.

According to Mumsie, she's being very strong about it.

But we know she's hurting inside.

But Umi Aisyah once said,

that she's accepted this as her fate.

I've never seen Mumsie this tired or stressed before.

She even cried.

It breaks my heart that everything is like this.

One thing after another.

It'll never stop.

I wish it'll stop.

I wish.

Nothing will be better.

I'm so tired.

Fucking tired kay?

Just gotta keep praying.

For these people.

God, I'm tired.

Munchkin

If I can have this kitty, I'll die and go to heaven.

It's so freaking adorable laaaaaaaaaa.

I want a cat, so, badly.

Always

Ahmad reminded me of this old, old song. I don't know why, but ever since I got back from CGH, I kept listening to the old, old songs. Well, Westlife isn't that old, but it's been a while since I last listened to them, like, really listened to them. Then, Air Supply songs (used to be Mum's favourites), and one BJ song. Hahah.

I still think there's more to this ovary thing. How can it be that every time I'm in the middle of my menstrual cycle, the cyst ruptures? I mean, what are the chances that it'll rupture all the time? Gargh, I wish that doctor had been more professional than to actually say, "I'm not an expert in this area." Then, she was like, "I'll refer you to a GUY-NI." I was like thinking, GUY-NI? What the hell is that? I was thinking, maybe machines and needles. Oh great. Then, when I got the referral letter thingy, I saw the word gynaecologist. & I was like, -.- cheyyyy. So yeah, ultrasound next month, then off to see Mr. Guy-ni, or whoever, then back to this Dr. June. Sighs.

After CGH, hung out at East Point with Mumsie. & she told me a lot of stuffs. & we talked about ahhh. And she told me a lot of stuffs again. & oh, she told me she dreamt of Ahmad last night. -.- I've been dreaming of him since last Friday, but that's okay, but this is MY MUM!! SHE DREAMT OF MY BOYFRIEND!!

It's so weird. But funny. & weird.

I'm glad everything's okay now. Things will hopefully go back to normal. Thank yous again to all who stood by me and gave me advices. I'm so glad I have all of you. :)

And I will love you, baby - Always

And I'll be there forever and a day - Always

I'll be there till the stars don't shine

Till the heavens burst and

The words don't rhyme

And I know when I die, you'll be on my mind

And I'll love you - Always

P.S. I think BJ's sexy. Heh.

I still can't get over this guy. He's just too hot.

Am gonna leave soon for the appointment.

I think it's too early, so maybe I take the train.

Go down to Joo Koon, and then towards PR.

Like so much time, like that. Haha.

Shall call Mumsie first.

I feel a lot better now.

Thank you all who stuck with me this week,

who put up with my mood swings,

who wiped my tears away,

who were there when I needed them,

who asked me if I was okay all the time,

who smsed me about the situation of things,

who were just, there for me.

Thank you.

You gave me the strength to continue.

I love you guys.

:)

hearts!

Feels Like Tonight

Again, I'll say I'm sorry.

If whatever I said and did hurt you.

Even if you didn't feel neglected or whatever,

this whole period taught me a great lesson.

& I need you to know that no matter what,

you're still my sister

& I love you.

This song was playing softly in the background as we talked it over.

It was hard, really hard,

but I'm glad we know how we really feel now.

Saturday. :)

Marketing tomorrow. Bummer.

But I'm partialing, thanks to the appointment at CGH.

& I didn't know there's sucha thing as ovary cancer.

Now I'm scared shitless.

Again, one thing after another.

When will this end?

And it feels like tonight

I can't believe I'm broken inside

Can't you see that there's nothing that I wanna do

But try to make it up to you?

And it feels like tonight

Tonight

i dont know what else to do anymore.

its like, one thing after another.

im hurting everyone around me.

gawd, will you just kill me?

& you're the one who understands me best.

Who knows what I'm going through.

What I've gone through.

You were there through the years.

& I really thank God you're my friend.

I'm looking for that kind of understanding.

But can I?

Can they?

Coralites, don't you think Mdm Norul looks damn different??

Wonder if being pregnant makes you look different.

O.o Hahah.

I think I'm gonna love my new team for Comms.

Hee.

It's starting to hurt again.

The pain's the same as Day 1.

Just that this time, it's hard to breathe out sometimes.

Or move.

Good timing, the followup's this Friday.

So just gotta tahan for a few more days.

It's alright.

In the end, everything will be oh-ke-zay.

I just have to keep smiling.

:)

& I was too slow to realize that you're the miracle in my life

STEVE JOBS

INSPIRING.

You're time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life & don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. Most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become.

Me loves.

Thank you, CE point.

HAHA.

Been listening to their songs the whole day. Miss them much.

& as usual, this guy is up to his nonsense.At his age. Like that. Really. -.-
I felt better after that.& I was so bored, I went to do the CE quizes and stuff in my webmail.But at least Westlife videos are entertaining me.Have always loved Shane.*melts*But he's married.:( bangets.
Tomorrow will be a better day.

Say OK

She's starting to smile and laugh more often. :D

This is the worst Saturday I've ever had.

Except for the couple of hours I was out with Natasha.

Thank god I could break away with her.

Or I would have lost my mind.

I keep telling myself it's just for today.

& I hope to God it really is just for today.

I'm so fucking pissed with her.

So fucking pissed with myself.

I don't know what else to do.

I got into trouble for last night.

But that's okay.

She made me fucking pissed this morning.

But that's okay.

She made me even more pissed in the afternoon.

But that's okay.

I went to have some girl time with Natasha.

So that's okay.

I get back home and she starts on me again.

It's not okay anymore.

& to make things worse, the dream last night keeps replaying in my head.

I remember every single detail.

I'm tired of crying.

It's hard, fucking hard, being the firstborn.

I need to quickly sleep this off.

Then I'll feel better.

Someone's going through a hard time now.

I feel your pain.

When it's not alright

When it's not ok

Will you try to make me feel better?

Will you say alright? (say alright)

Will you say ok? (Say ok)

Will you stick with me through whatever?

Or run away

(Say that it's gonna be alright. That it's gonna be ok)

Say ok

No Promises

Seriously, this is not my Friday. I forgot that it was Friday (again!!!), tripped on my slippers on the way to Coral, but not forgetting the part where I knocked my head on the train doors thrice (Ahmad counted). That's not the worst for today. The worst is leaning against the train driver's door and suddenly crashing it open. I don't know how to explain, and I have no idea how it happened. Must have leaned against the door too hard. Damned driver was super shocked. & Ahmad was super enjoying himself, laughing away. -.- Meanie!

SUPER MALUU. & everyone super saw it.

I'm gonna go out soon. Gonna watch Paranormal Activity with my guys and girl at Ehub, late night movie. Awwsome perrr. Mum was reluctant, but well, I guess my persuasion skills have gotten better. 18 is a good number. Heeeeeeee.

He drew this on my arm, and you gotta admit, it's nicer than my own piece of shit.

I've always been bad at drawing anyway. Prefer colouring.

I know I'm not looking forward to next year when you go.
I don't know how I'm gonna survive even if it's for a short while.

Whenever you're away from me, you take a part of me with you too.

You break my heart when you're gone, but mend it again when you're near.

What am I to do without you?

I don't wanna run away

Baby, you're the one I need tonight

No promises

Baby, now I need to hold you tight

I just wanna die in your arms

I am officially the dumbest asshole in the world.

I have no idea what Ahmad sees in me.

-.-

Hahah.

Or maybe it's just me always making a fool of myself whenever it comes to him. This is bad, man, bad for my health. Hahah. But, me likeys. Hahah.

& I really think people should not discriminate based on the colour of your skin. 'cause we're all the same. We're still humans, and we have a heart. Black or white (or yellow), we're all still the same, people with feelings.

But well, what the heck, it's not my problem.

& why do I always forget about Fridays? -.-

Angmoh faci for Marketing makes the module much better. Why must we have a permanent faci who has so high expectations? Marketing sucksxz bolasxz.

Yowzer just smsed me that SYPA is on again. Whoooooooooooooo~~~!!!! & the deadline is like, next year in April. Bloody so much time. More outings!! Sentosa again!! But hey, I'm not doing this in the hopes of winning. I'm doing this for the fun of it; to bond with photography, make my photography better, and well, just to go out. Hahah. But if I win, then isn't that good? Hahah. Doakan la ye.

Tabitha's face is on one of the RP pillars. Somebody's gonna like it. *kenings naik naik*

Haha, Yowzer just told me to support 'To Write Love On Her Arms'. Cuteness laaaa, this fan of zombie sheep. & Shawn The Sheep -.-

I end up with this ugly piece of shit. The pen hurt, it felt like I was getting a tattoo.

But I kinda like it.

♥♥♥

TOUCHING GILERR!!

I WAS MOVED TO TEARS.

HOW SAD, BUT HAPPY AT THE SAME TIME.

I AGREE THAT TRUE FRIENDSHIPS LAST A LIFETIME.

:)

:):):):):):)

P.S. I don't understand myself sometimes too. :(

& I want a lion. :(

Cats, big or small, have always been my favourite animals. :)

Skipped both breaks just to do maths.

I'm hungry, but it's worth it.

:)

Happy 32nd Birthday, Faci Siew Yee Kit~~!!

He was very happy yesterday, with the Doraemon cake and the Doraemon gift.

It feels good to make someone happy.

The wall around me is gone.

I am vulnerable.

Any attack can bring me down anytime.

Sometimes it's hard to be strong for the people you love.

& I hate doing this to the people I love.

But I can't help it.

Sometimes I give in too much to my emotions.

I need the beach.

I need to breathe.

This woman is so damn funny laaaaa. Walao. It's so easy to trick her when it comes to malay stuff, and the fact that she gets so easily excited whenever she sees Paul Twohill around in her school is just so cute. & somehow, after what she told me, she seems to still be in sucha happy mood. I'm jealous. Hahaha. But it's good la, being in a good mood. She always seems so depressed, and it depresses me too sometimes. -.-

Ahmad told me to read this this morning. & if I were to tell the truth, I kinda cried a little. A LITTLE ONLY!! But it sure cheered me up. I really didn't expect this. Thanks, Shak!! :)

There's Gamelan later. :( But at least the songs are more interesting than Kirana. Looking forward to the performance. Hee.

It's so freaking cold in this class. -.-

Ohohoh! Before I forget.

I SOLEMNLY SWEAR THAT I WILL NEVER PRANK AHMAD AGAIN. EVARRR.

I know what it feels like now. Sadly, I was just planning one. Sighs.

Dreaming Of You

I love this picture. Credits to Thahirah. :)

I know I had a bad dream last night. I woke up in tears after that. Like, real, real tears. I could feel the tears on my face. It's been a really long time since I last cried in my sleep. & of all the persons to appear in my dreams, it had to be him.

In that dream, he was my brother.

& in that dream, I was happy that he was my brother.

But in that dream, he died in my arms.

& so, I cried.

It felt so real.

Just so, so real.

But to have a brother, it felt so good.

Just too good.

I wish I had a brother.

& I wish my grandma was still alive.

Things wouldn't have been this way.

But that's life.

Sadly.

I'll be dreaming of you tonight

Till tomorrow, I'll be holding you tight

& there's nowhere in the world

I'd rather be

Than here in my room

Dreaming about you and me

HAPPY 15TH!!

HEY!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SISTER!!

In the end, I still got her the shoe. -.-

As much as I hate to say that I find myself such a disgrace as your sister because I don't know what to buy for your birthday present, I still gotta admit that fact. You just know me too well, but I seem to not know you as well as that. Well, at least I got you the shoes you wanted so much. :)

Having a sister is like having a best friend you can't get rid of. You know that whatever you do, they'll still be there.

Even though we've been through many ups and downs as we grew up together, even though I can be an entire bitch to you sometimes (I'm aware of that, okay.), even though sometimes I irritate you with the stuffs I do and say, even though I may not have time for you nowadays, even though I don't show it, always know that no matter what, you'll always be my darling sister, and I love you very, very much.

& on this very, very special day, which I don't know why but somehow means a lot to you, I hope that whatever you wish for will come true and may you always have success in whatever you do. Always remember, family comes first, so don't forget your darling sister over here who stayed up till 1.30am just to finish up this post for you. Long story short:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LAAAAA, SITI NURFARHANA BTE TAHIR!!!!

One more thing, this year, you had it easy, huh? No eggs on your head. -.- Not fair, so you will get double the dose next year. Heeeee. Revenge is sweet or what. Seoul Garden or Han River, babe?

P.S: I'M STARTING TO GET STUCK ON THUNDER ALL OVER AGAIN. WHYYYY???

Kau Buat Aku

♥♥♥

One word, only one word to describe today: AWESOMENESS.

I never thought that I would ever find someone that could captivate my heart, mind and body, the way he did. I never thought it would be possible for me to love someone this much, the way I love him. I never thought I would ever feel this way again, the way I'm feeling now.

These three months were wonderful with you, and I look forward to the coming days and months with you. Thank you for entering my life, for letting me know you, and love you. Thank you for today, it was awesome that we finally get to spend a whole day together. Like I said, the wonders of the number 3. :) I ♥ you!

Semua perhatian yang engkau berikan

Kau buat aku

Semua perhatian yang engkau berikan

Kau buat aku katakan I love you

Kau buat aku semakin cinta

Kau buat aku semakin gila

Kau buat aku jatuh cinta

Kau buat aku semakin gila

Thunder

Dinner with Mdm Riah was AWWSOME!! Had so much fun talking to her, and it was the first time, EVARRR, that I saw Zul going gagaga over the sweet and cute stories that Mdm Riah told us. I love her laaaaaa, I love them laaaaaa, I love today laaaaaa.

& I love Ahmad laaaaaa. He surprised me with a midnight message. Super duper ultra mega sweet, I couldn't stop smiling and it took me a while to finally catch up with the conversation going on between Nat, Zul and Mdm Riah after reading the message. It's just so..... ohmygod la. Seriously caught me off-guard. Super sweeeeet laaaaaaa.

I love this one. Not sure where I found it. Maybe Le Love.

Found this too. Freaking awesome.
Wish I could play like this too.
But nothing beats David Sides.

He's like, awesome-r.

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer

Do you know you're unlike any other

You'll always be my thunder

& I said

Your eyes are the brightest of all the colours

I don't wanna ever love another

You'll always be my thunder

So bring on the rain

Oh baby bring on the pain

& listen to the thunder

This little darling is having a high fever, 39 degrees. :( I hope she'll be fine once I get home. Which reminds me, I'll be coming home late today. Friday nights are always the higlight of the week lately, haha. Been spending them with Zul, Hafiz and Natasha for three weeks in a row. Today would be the third week, but if I'm not wrong, Hafiz is in Australia right now. Haha. Enjoy your time there, dood!

I'm so bored right now. Pfffft. PPT's done, without even my contribution. This class is always way, way, way ahead of me. Sighs. Lucky I did some contribution at class level just now. This faci... Never mind.

I still have no idea what to get that girl. 15 years of knowing her, growing up with her, you would have thought I would know her inside out already. But no, I don't. Maybe when it comes to personal stuff and whatever, yeah. But when it comes to what she wants and likes, I have no idea. I'm a disgrace, I know. -.-

I'm watching the Live In Texas videos again. Laughing my ass off at Azhar's laugh, as usual. I miss this gang. Just now, when I was with Sarah, Syai and Azhar downstairs at the tables near W2, Eunice hugged me from behind and gave me the shock of my life. Haaahaaaa. I miss that girl laaa. Never fails to make me laugh. Actually, I miss W35F. Never mind, we have Wednesday's plan. Heeeee. Doh-ray-mo-on! Doraemon, Doraemon!

Damn, I forgot to bring camera for later. Woke up at 6.10 today, the latest since a while. Panicked like shit. Sighs. Why is school so bloody far? :(

Looking forward to later. Looking forward to tomorrow. Looking forward to Sunday. Not looking forward for school next week. :(((

All I Need

Am loving this editted version. I still have lots to learn. :)

Since Ahmad complained that I haven't updated my blog in a while, I shall update now while I have the time.

This is the first time since weeks that I returned home from school before 8. Ever since I joined Gamelan, ever since the semester started, I always reach home from school at about 9 to 10. It's damn tiring. Even though Kirana's over, there's still the Peranakan festival to prepare for. The Ba-ba-bazaar at SMU, this coming 28 and 29 November. Sighs.

Yay! Dinner with Mdm Riah at her house tomorrow! Yay! Outing on Saturday with my dearest! Yay! Somebody's turning 15 this Sunday! Wait, un-yay that last one. I have yet to get her present. Pffft.

So, Muddddd, is this update enough??

Garrrr, Marketing tomorrow. Bummerrrr.

Can you still see the heart of me?
All my agony fades away
when you hold me in your embrace

Don’t tear me down for all I need
Make my heart a better place
Give me something I can believe
Don’t tear me down
You’ve opened the door now, don’t let it close

Best Friends Forever

Credits to Hafiz Yusof for this fabulous idea!
Credits to Azhar to this really sweet picture.
No idea who took this but it's my laptop wallpaper now. <3

I don't know why but this afternoon, I was being very not me around Ahmad and Mirah. & all the way home with Mirah, I wouldn't stop disturbing her and stuff. She really wanted to beat me with her waterbottle. Hahah. I think I was really irritating laaaaa. Walao.

I am still loving Vanilla Twilight. & New Moon is coming out on Dec 3. Heeeee. & this Saturday is my..... Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. & I found a book titled, "Best Friends Forever". I shall read it first before letting Natashii read it. Heeeeeeeeeeeeeee. So far, it's awwsome, and I feel like I'm the nerd in the book. :)

When the rain comes down
I'll be there
I will always be around
Just wanna be the one to catch you
When you fall

Vanilla Twilight

Sisto keeps forcing me to listen to this song since long ago, but I keep delaying. But a couple of nights ago, I gave this song a chance since the title was so interesting. & ohmygod, I fell in love with it. It reminds me of AHMAD. Hee. :)

The stars lean down to kiss you,
And I lie awake I miss you,
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere.
Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly,
But I'll miss your arms around me
I'll send a postcard to you dear,
Cause I wish you were here.

I watch the night turn light blue,
But it's not the same without you,
Because it takes two to whisper quietly,
The silence isn't so bad,
Till I look at my hands and feel sad,
Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly.

I'll find opposing new ways,
Though I haven't slept in two days,
Cause cold nostalgia chills me to the bone.
But drenched in Vanilla twilight,
I'll sit on the front porch all night,
Waist deep in thought because when I think of you.
I don't feel so alone.
I don't feel so alone.
I don't feel so alone.

As many times as I blink I'll think of you... tonight.
I'll think of you tonight.

When violet eyes get brighter,
And heavy wings grow lighter,
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again.
And I'll forget the world that I knew,
But I swear I won't forget you,
Oh if my voice could reach back through the past,
I'd whisper in your ear,
Oh darling I wish you were here

So much happened over the weekend and surprisingly, I'm glad to be in school. Even though I'm in a class with a handful of people that I don't really like, I'm still glad to be anywhere but home.

For comms, it's about snails. & we watched a video of snails mating. Gross, seriously.