So handsome, so so so handsome.

His POC day, which I couldn't attend because they didn't allow.

Somebody help me photoshop me beside him can? HEHE.

Salam!

I don't know why but social media is starting to lose my interest. Whenever I turn on my laptop, I focus too much on work related things such as checking my email, continuing assignment essays, logging in to my other Facebook account to reply to parents who have any queries or just to update, checking Le Love or Tumblr sometimes and that's it.

Is this what becoming an adult is like?

'cause really, I couldn't live without Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr back when I was in poly. It's like an essential routine daily; updating all three, otherwise I just feel funny.

And now? Turning on the laptop once a week is actually fine with me. Unless, I have assignments to do. Otherwise, I'm fine with not even touching my laptop. It's a weird thing to realise, now that I suddenly noticed it. I can't live without my phone though. I'm still an avid gamer; I love Hay Day and Cause of Death so much that I play almost everyday! That's if Hay Day doesn't hang on me 3 days in a row, and when I completed the COD chapter and will have to wait till the new episode is released.

I'm actually craving for Ikan Bakar so badly right now. I have NO idea why.

So, anyway, I got to FINALLY meet and talk to Ahmad properly yesterday. Our meeting on Saturday had none or little interaction between us, mostly because I was too shy to talk to him for some reason I still can't fathom. Or maybe because his family surrounded us so, cannot la mania-manja as usual.

And we walked to Woodlands MRT from RP together and it was soooooo funny! It brought back so many memories of the many, many times we always walked back together after whatever it is that made us stay late. Kenangan manis kau dan aku. Hehehe. So anyway, he's been really.... hmm, how do I put it? Direct? Straightforward? About the thing I'm always too shy to talk about with him. Hahaha, alamak. I also shy want to say here.

Marriage. Saving up. In-laws.

These stuff came up in our conversation during our walk last night. Well, as usual, my heart went "Tak tak etc" because he's saying everything out loud, and he's not afraid to. Because he says the things we say become our doa. InsyaAllah, can come true. :):)

They say when you find someone, a partner, who brings you closer to Allah, appreciate them and don't let them go. If all goes well and you marry them, then they can guide you towards Jannah. :')

The very thing I hope for in a partner. I look at my parents, who always solat jemaah whenever my dad is home, and I tell myself, I want that too. Pray together, ngaji together. It's just nice, somehow. Well, as an onlooker. I don't know when I'd even get married. Mak says must get degree first. She tells people and relatives she's just joking. That's why I don't know if it's a joke or not!!! Stress, you know! I thought of skipping the leadership diploma but I thought what if in future I need it and never took it? There goes the opportunities, if ever. So, bottom line, I still have to take the leadership. Bummer, you know.

So anyway, readers (if I have more than one), I believe you would have noticed that in the past couple or so months, my blog posts are usually, normally, about Ahmad. I hope you're not sick of seeing his name all the time, haha. 'cause honestly, he's one of the people I look up to. Now, I'm not saying this just because I'm his girlfriend. But I'm saying this because over the years, I've seen him grow up and change. As his girlfriend, friend, committee member, member of our IG, I've seen different sides of him. One thing I like about him is that he has a sincere heart. That's one trait that is very rare nowadays. Often, when people help others, they expect something in return. I'm not saying it's wrong but it's just rare to find someone doing it out of goodwill. When we walk around places and people come up to us with donations or voucher-donations, he'd just give them and I don't. That's why I mentioned before, he's pretty admirable.

I've gotten off track. HAHA.

So yeah, the past few months have been about Ahmad because ever since the first time he raised the topic of marriage and our future together, I can't shake it outta my head. And the more he talks about it, the more I realise how serious he is. And it's cute how he talks about it. I know it's kinda a long way to go till we can actually do it but it's not wrong to start planning. Plus, we need to save. Badly. Living in Singapore isn't easy, gotta tell you that.

Let me emphasize: It still feels surreal.

Growing up never felt scarier than this. But I know I've gotta have faith. Always have faith. InsyaAllah, he's the last one. :)

I know it's a pretty deep post. I just don't have anywhere else to drop off my thoughts and feelings. I've been pretty emotional, but my emotions are starting to stabilize ever since the end of PTC. So I'm doing great. :D

I suddenly feel so paiseh to want to post this up because that's all my bare feelings up there, no filter. And I know Ahmad's gonna read it too. So paiseh but... Sigh.

See you in my next post, InsyaAllah. :)