I'm really tired of everything.

I'm tired of crying.

Tired of waiting.

Tired of being taken for granted.

Tired of trying to be strong.

Each and every day.

If I could sleep forever, I would.

I'm just really so physically and mentally tired.

Shadows & Regrets

Life, as told by me.

When I was the only senior girl in Photography Club. :p

KL & Cameron Highlands with the NA Melayus. :')

When Farah was only 1 year old. :D

The camp that was the highlight of 2006

I happen to like my hair in this. :p

Not Photoshopped. :D

Sigh, when I was the only Sec.2 girl. Sigh.

Sigh, when I was still the only Sec.2 girl.

She sparked my passion in photography.

Who can forget her? :')

Heroes World Tour 2007

I miss working with this guy.

He made managing Photography Club so much fun.

Do I have to repeat again?

When I was the only Sec.2 girl. Sigh, sigh.

Somehow, this is my favourite picture during the Prom.

Seems like the whole 5 years in CSS,

Photography Club was like my whole life.

When we used to go ice-skating ALL the time

When I loved these people with all my heart

My life from 2005-2008

(not in sequence)

When all that mattered was being happy with friends and loved ones

Found these in my mum's harddisk

I was sighing when I looked through all the pictures

If I could turn back time and correct the things I've done wrong,

I would do anything for that to happen.

But I can't.

If you were ever a part of my past,

it doesn't mean that I've forgotten you in my present.

:)

When we were only kids

And we were best of friends

And we hoped for the best

And let go of the rest

He left me - again. No he didn't break up with me or leave me for another girl, he left me for another passion of his, traveling. I always knew that even when he came back he would leave again because it's in his blood, it's what comes naturally and passionately to him. When we first started dating he went abroad for 6 months to another country. Even though we had just started dating before he life, it was the hardest 6 months I have ever endured in my life. But we fell in love, the old fashioned way. Through letters and e-mails (not so old fashioned), but everything we did had passion behind it. We didn't touch for 6 whole months. Imagine not being able to have the person you love give you a simple hug because there was literally 7,000 miles between you.

When he returned we were inseparable, but I knew he would eventually leave again. Like I said before, it's in his blood, it's part of his make up. He's a free spirit and someone I look up to. He has brought out qualities in myself that I could never imagine having and that is just a simple reason of many why I'm so crazy about him. He left a week ago to follow his dream and move across country to California. No plans, no expectations, just a dream he has always had.

And what about me? I'm back on the East Coast. As much as I want to scream at him and tell him he's selfish, ask why he left me again, tell him to stay, I won't. Because what kind of girlfriend would I be if I did that? What kind of girlfriend does not support their soul mates dreams even if it does mean being a little selfish? Everything is supposed to happen for a reason and Fate works in way that are unthinkable. I know in my heart that it will work out the way it is supposed to. We fell in love through distance, we fell in love through struggle. We've been together for almost 2 years now and I still get butterflies when I think about touching him again.

I look up to him for what he does and how he does it. At times, I may think he is stubborn and almost impossible but that does not make me love him any less. Struggles make you stronger whether you realize it or not. This time I know it will work even better than it did the last.

- Le Love

I feel the same too.

Because I believe. :)

& today, I realized so much more things.

It hurts really bad.

Who you are, who you really are.

Karma?

Yeah, that's pretty much it.

This is what it feels like not to be remembered.

At all.

No one else can claim my heart the way you have.

& if ever anyone were to make you doubt this,

remember, my heart has always belonged to you.

How do you know for sure that what you lost was what you have been looking for all this while?

Everyday, I just fall deeper and deeper into this bottomless pit.

I surround myself with this invisible barrier so I wouldn't feel as much pain as I've had before.

I've seen with my own eyes what love can do to you.

I've seen my friends get hurt to the point that they're so ready to take their own lives, or to the point that they just can't feel a thing.

I've seen it and I don't ever want to go through it.

But sometimes, things happen.

Someone to love you with all his heart is difficult to come by.

Habib

Shy (Shiny)

:D

I love yesterday. It's been so long since I had this much fun. Ahmad finally found time to come over to play with the cats. Yup, I have 2 now. We got the second one last Sunday. It was totally random. We were at the farm to buy Habib's nail clippers and my Dad saw Shy in her cage and he and my mum decided to buy her because they wanted to breed the cats. -.- Shy is a 6 month old British Blue Silver Classic Tabby and she is pure EVIL~~ Haha, just kidding. She's lovable but extremely shy and afraid of us. Everytime we approach her, she tries to run away. So, yeah, there you go, Habib now has a pussy girlfriend. HAHA!

So anyway,Ahmad played with the cats, I cooked for him 'cause he was hungry, and he played Kinect with Farah. Hilarious. :) So when he wanted to go off, my mum came home. She helped me pack the cake for him, and then I ended up following him for his outing with his friends where the attendance was incredibly miserable. The ones who turned up were the usual: Shak, Thahirah and Rafi, who was late. Ate at Zam Zam with Shak, Thahirah and Ahmad, before they all decided to shisha at Bali Lane. I didn't, of course. Never again. Haha. We could see the fireworks from where we sat, which is super duper cool. So when Rafi arrived, we took out the birthday cake and the number 19 candles and well, I guess I'm happy to say that at the end of the night, the cake was almost finished. Ahmad went off first, but I couldn't cause no one's home and I didn't have the house keys so I stayed with the rest. But really, I enjoyed my time with them. It reminded me of the first time I met them; they're still the same people. :)

It was supposed to be red, and it turned out pink. Sucks, man. But at least they loved it. :D

Off to finish up my codings, clean the house, bathe Habib and do some ironing. Lovely Saturday, hopefully Sunday will be nice so that the weekend will remain awesome. :D

We attach ourselves too closely to people sometimes and when they're gone, a part of us is gone too.

It's 1.46am in the morning, and I've just spent the past 30 minutes crying my eyes out.

I just read the most heartbreaking email I've ever received in my entire life.

This wasn't what I wanted. It's really not. I wish things could change, I wish it could get better. I wish it would be different, so much more different than it is now. I wish it could be the same as the past happier days. But no it can't. Because the damage is done.

Is it true then? There's a reason why some people never made it to our present. Cause that really sucks. I'm at the edge of losing my mind right now.

In the crowd of faces, sometimes I wished yours would be one of them too.

Ahmad Mustaqim surprised a sleepy me this morning when he told me to check my Facebook. So me being the curious cannot wait till I get to school kind of person when it comes to this, used my phone to check FB. And voila! I saw the above video he sent. So, while I was watching, I was crying because it was so sweet. & the lyrics <3. :)

I just find him so cute in this shot. He's such a sweet and talented musician. :) Ahmad, thank you. :3

I'll update properly when I have the time. This week is emotionally stressful due to FYP deadline coming up so soon and one particular teammate giving problems. The best part about yesterday was I get to sit next to Ummi Aisyah and talk to her. Terubat rindu aku. :D

Last week:

So, Habib was down with flu last week and his eyes were in bad condition as well, so my sis and mum brought him to the vet at Jalan Kayu (apparently, my sis says the guy vets there were so handsome -.-) and he got pills and eye drops, and the cone thing above. So cute right! He was so upset with the thing. Well, it was uncomfortable, obviously, but it's to prevent him from scratching or cleaning his eyes with his paws. We bathed him on Saturday and it was hilarious. Towel dry him and then used the hair dryer to dry him further. He ran and ran around the balcony. So hilarious. He's a really smart kitty, for a three month old. Every time I prepare the saline solution and cotton pads for his eyes, he'll run away. It sucks when he had the flu, he was always sleeping and less active.

Last night:

This little buddy actually accompanied me to watch Jennifer's Body. I kept him nearby 'cause I was scared even though the movie was nowhere near scary. But I still have to admit, Megan Fox is really awesome. So anyway, ever since he recovered, he's been sliding around the house. The floor of my house is marble, so for his kind of fur, well, bottom line, he just loves sliding around. He'll purposely run so fast and slide around corners. -.-

& he woke me up this morning by licking my lip and then sitting on my neck. Perangai gemok. Takde tempat lain nak dudok. But it was a good thing because it was six plus and I had to get up for school. A living alarm clock. HAHA!

http://leloveimage.blogspot.com/2011/06/im-not-going-anywhere.html

I was tearing up when I read this. I wonder what's with me lately. I'm letting myself fall deeper, even though I know it will hurt me. Because in the end, it always hurts. :(