Girl Talk: The Reception after Nikah

Salam!

We got the wedding photos last month but I only have time to share now cause of the portfolio preparation period. But I’m done with it (yay!) so I can go back to blogging about my wedding. Gosh, it’s been such a slow process to pen down my thoughts and feelings about the entire wedding I’m afraid I may forget the details that were important to me. But then again, it was and will always be the most happiest day of my life (and Ahmad’s too, I hope) so I don’t think I’ll ever forget the details (and journey leading up) of the wedding. Teehee.

So this was the reception after the nikah. It was such a blur though. There were groups and groups of family, friends, mom and dad’s friends coming up to us with congratulations and requests for pictures. I really love our family picture though, both in the nikah outfit and the evening outfit.

Ahmad was looking so fabulous that day, by the way. *heart eyes*

The reception went smoothly, Alhamdulillah. All hands were on deck, and one of the most helpful all out one was Ayah Long’s. I didn’t see him in action but I already knew that he would be the one really helping out in the kitchen area. Even today, I really appreciate all he has done for this family because there were some things I learnt about him that made me really sad. My parents have always helped their family members, but I can’t really say the same vice versa. Despite that, Ayah Long has always been one of those who will step forward for my family with whatever he can and he will always remind me to tell him if I have problems. *hearts*

Anyway, we had the photoshoot at Changi Airport because it freaking rained and we couldn’t go outdoors. Fudge, my photographer, said that she can shoot in the rain, but I was thinking of the laundry part of the outfit that I’d have to pay if we returned it dirty. So we went to T3. The photos thankfully didn’t look like the airport. Yay!

The photos turned out so gorgeous that I got teary when I looked through everything. There were like, hundreds of photos, by the way. Hahahahaha. Fudge and her team did a really great job at documenting everything.

So anyway, after the photoshoot was over, Ahmad and me headed over to check into Concorde Hotel for the next day’s reception: his side. Which will be in another post because it was quite exciting!

Till the next post, InsyaAllah!

Girl Talk: The Nikah

Assalamualaikum!

Alhamdulillah, we are finally husband and wife on the 26th day of October 2019. Everything went so well, Alhamdulillah for everything, really (I do have complaints here and there but that will be stories for another day)

I have heard stories about how you get emotional during your nikah ceremony. I was so mentally prepared to cry (or even ugly cry) for mine. But to my surprise, I didn’t! I’m not sure if it’s just a delayed reaction/emotion because I only did later on but more on that later. So, the nikah. It was quite fast because we finished the burdariyah quite early and the Kadi also came early. So the nikah started earlier than 11.

Then, session power transfer from my Abah to Ahmad started. My heart was really beating so fast plus Ahmad looked reeeeeeally good in his baju melayu slash pengantin slash all that drama at JB over that particular baju *inserts eye rolling here*. Ahmad was confident and Abah was articulate. And how do they say it? Dengan sekali lafaz, sahlah kami sebagai suami isteri.

Prior to the wedding day, Ahmad’s mom created a WA group with us and his dad. She shared all sorts of advices and doas to read for the wedding day and marriage life. I was really touched by her initiative and willingness to share. So anyway, one of the doas was for this below:

After the nikah, Ahmad held the top of my head and read this doa.

This particular moment was so deep because I once asked Ahmad why the groom does this to his bride. Like, was there actually a doa in particular.

So apparently, yes, there is and Ahmad read it very confidently.

All I said was Amin, Amin, Amin. 

I legit cannot wait for the official photos.

& just like that, Alhamdulillah, we’re married!

I don’t have a picture of him kissing my forehead hais.

So there! That’s our nikah ceremony. That day was full of love and blessings, and so was the next day at Ahmad’s reception. The amount of love and support from family and friends were overwhelmingly overpowering. I could feel how happy everyone was for us. Like finally, this couple of 10 years since poly years are married. Hahahahahaha. 

It’s been 3 weeks since, and I couldn’t be happier. I married my best friend, my pillar of support, my imam and I hope Allah blesses this marriage until Jannah, InsyaAllah. Amin!

Salam! It’s been a while from me right?

Well, where do I even begin? The past year has been really, really, tremendously hard. So much happened to me in just a short span of time that it gets quite hard to believe that it all really happened, yknow what I mean?

By the way, the post about Sunday’s JB trip was just me pouring my frustrations out. I have never felt so stuck in the middle when it came to the wedding planning. This one gave me what Zaff called a mini anxiety attack. I really don’t want to feel that way again.

But like I said, the past year has been hard. I joined a new company only to be terminated on unfair and unreasonable grounds. During that termination notice period, I underwent 2 eye operations and even now, I’m still under medication and observation. When I found a new job, I had to go through another eye operation, which shocked the management but thankfully, they didn’t ask much. I am now in my 4th month (probation over) with my new company and I’m happier than I was in GUG. GUG was a very stressful place and Allah knew it. That unfair termination was really a blessing in disguise.

I have a very supportive team and environment at my current workplace and again, I am really, really thankful for that. It’s so rare to have such supportive and helpful colleagues. Although there are certain areas that can be improved (it’s an old centre/building), it’s a place I want to work hard for. Maybe I’ve found another “PCF” after all. Or am I saying that too soon? Hahaha.

Now, wedding. The reason why it’s been hard is only and only because of my mother. The demands she had were just too much. AKA “Dessert corner with 10 macam kuih” for a reception of 400pax... kek kukus berkat for tamu lelaki only (seriously wtf since when was berkat based on gender?), the rings (she said my diamond is NOT BIG ENOUGH, it’s freaking 0.3ct and that’s too big for ME and I’m the one wearing the ring not her right?!?!), Ahmad’s baju nikah issue was the last straw for me. I cried in the car behind my shades quietly, I had that anxiety attack, I cried again after we separated from Ahmad, I cried outside Nek Uteh’s house, I cried in the car journey back to SG. And my parents and Cik La never knew. The feelings of hatred towards my mother was too overwhelming that day. Like why she had to be so rigid and unreasonable.

I mean, in the case of the rings. She’s always gone on and on about how she wants her daughters’ husbands to be men who can guide her daughters to Syurga. But then demands him to be able to give a 1 ct diamond ring. I’m like, which one do you want? Dunia or akhirat? She’s so inconsistent, it’s so hard to keep up. And that’s why my sister can’t click with her.

We’re headed for ROMM tomorrow. I’m not sure if she’s coming with us because my dad has to go no matter what as he’s my wali. But if she follows too, I really am not sure what to expect. I feel so so so sorry towards Ahmad actually now. It’s so embarrassing to have my mother be so materialistic about the wedding when she’s always talked about barakah this and that. Friends said it’s because it’s the “sending off first child” thing and it would only get worse. I just don’t know what more I can take before I burst and it could get ugly.

I’m already tired from work issues and having to deal with this wedding related bullshit is just overwhelming. In the past 1 year of planning, it’s been so smooth and it’s only now that it’s a month away to the wedding that I’m suddenly feeling everything all at once. To the point I told myself, please just get the wedding over and done with already. I asked myself if I’m really gonna be okay with living away from my family, mainly my mother, once I’m married. I really don’t know and there’s only one way to find out right? I keep telling myself that it’s better for my mental health to be away from this crowded house. Cause I honestly really can’t. Anymore.

I really pray hard for patience. After that, I would like to go on a long holiday. Thanks.

Maybe I should start blogging more frequently to release pent up frustrations and whatever shitload. I realized my posts have decreased drastically hahaha. Let’s go back to doing Dear Diary everyday, shall we?

Till the next post. InsyaAllah.

The past week has been the hardest so far due to work.

But Sunday’s JB trip made me feel the worst thanks to my momster.

I’ve never had such an attack and it really helped to have friends who knew what it was like and had previously described their experiences to me.

I turned to the right person for support and Alhamdulillah, thankfully it was over before I knew it.

I’m just thankful that I was aware of my feelings and fought my way out.

I dont’t ever want to feel that way again.

I don’t know what else is in store the rest of this journey because the cobaan level went up another notch, if not a few.

I need to keep reminding myself to stay calm.

I’ve been so calm about the wedding preparations and I want to keep it that way. 

The only person who messes it up for me is my mother.

All I pray for is more patience from this point on leading up to the wedding.

Friends told me it will only get worse and I don’t doubt that.

All I hope for is just patience dealing with that.

I don’t need a legitimate breakdown to prove a point.

It doesn’t have to go that far.

May Allah ease all our affairs.

Assalamualaikum 2019!

The year started off on a bad note with CH management but I decided not to pursue the issues because they were not worth the effort at all.

I joined GUG officially on the 10th this month and so far, it’s been okay. Being a newly built centre and all, most of the times, I’ve been helping to do the inventory stuff besides the “training” at the Novena campus. My colleagues are great too, Alhamdulillah. I hope this stays too.

I’m tired of changing jobs too, ya know. I don’t want to think that PCF was the best place because it really isn’t that. It was my comfort zone and now, I’m glad I left because I really feel like I’ve grown.

Anywayssssssss.

This is the year I get married, InsyaAllah.

Constantly being pressured by the family, namely sister and mother.

Sometimes, I wish for things I shouldn’t wish for.

But no one exactly knows what it feels like to be in this position.

My married friends always tell me this: If can, don’t live with parents or in-laws.

Boy, am I SOOOOO stuck in the middle.

Not to mention the honeymoon thing also.

The sister wants to tag along.

Super tactless la please.

My family is so weird. Sorry, Ahmad.

That’s all for now!

Till next time!

It took us 9 years to go see Christmas lights together.

I was such a happy little girl last night. :D

As the year starts to draw to a close, I am currently reflecting on how it went. The first half of the year was a blur, what with leaving my job and getting engaged all. Not to mention the Ramadhan drama, the worst of all years. Things got better in the second half, Alhamdulillah, now that my helper is back.

But then, I went back to leaving my job after barely 6 months at the Cheriehearts Elias Mall. This centre was a horror not just in terms of the environment but also because of the management and lack of system. This week alone revealed the ugly culture that the team had. My goodness, *smacks forehead*. Nevertheless, I really hope that my next job is the one I can stay in for the long run so that I can grow and develop in my career. Still got a long way to go!

I’m not going to share about my experience at CH. I’m just gonig to be optimistic that there are better things out there, better opportunities and better people. InsyaAllah.

2019 will be an exciting year, especially with the wedding preparations and most importantly, the saving up. I haven’t really felt the stress/pressure yet even though I have like a million things to do with regards to the wedding but I’m just gonna take it slow and enjoy the little moments along the journey. Why make the wedding planning a stressful memory to remember right? Let me just maintain my cool girl image k HAHAHAHA.

But really, my family members and aunts question why I’m so relaxed. Ahmad was warning me the other day not to turn into bridezilla later on. Hahaha, InsyaAllah no. All that I worry about (on a daily basis) is my savings. :)

Anywaysssss! Here’s to a better year ahead! A year of patience, a year of growth, a year of love. Amin! 

Girl Talk: The Engagement

6 months since, and counting.

Nobody knows except for close friends and family.

Still feeling so blessed everyday.

The journey to get to this wasn’t an easy one. I went ring hunting one too many times and mostly with Zaff. I wasn’t that enticed by anything I saw until we got to Tampines One’s Venus Tears. Zaff was like, “Gurl, this ring is so you!” so that’s how we ended up with this simple 3 tiny diamonds Rose Gold Amour Amulet ring. It took about 2 months for the actual ring to arrive from Japan too. It’s personalized and hand-crafted so that’s why. Still love it though (but rarely use it also heh). I’m not a jewellery kinda girl. At some point in my adulthood/working years, I stopped wearing bracelets and rings and headbands and dangling brooches. See my mood lorr.

Anyway, that weekend was a busy one. On Saturday, I cleaned the whole house down like crazy. (Honestly, this year has been nothing but challenging, but that’s a story for another day.) My sis went to get flowers for the house and a bouquet of dried lavender for me. She was looking forward to taking our photos on film. She even had a haircut all. *rolls eyes* 

Anyway, I met Ahmad in the evening to pick up the ring at the shop at Tampines. Since we ordered the ring and it would only arrive in 2 months, the shop gave us a sample ring for the engagement day (which was the next day). So we picked up the ring and boy, did it feel so real! Honestly, the journey to get to this point wasn’t an easy one. There were hiccups and misunderstandings along the way, and lots of arguing with my sister and mom. But well, no need for details.

When Ahmad’s family arrived (his parents, nenek and Ahmad of course), we were all ready. My parents were making small talk with his family in the living room when me and my sister had a little kitchen crisis. I was really close to freaking out hahaha but then my mom entered the kitchen and asked what happened to serving the drinks. We quickly cleaned up the mess and served the drinks and that’s when the discussion started. 

My dad was so calm and collected. His points all fitted together and he sounded so wise and I really admired him so much that day you can literally see the hearts coming out from my eyes. My dad talked about how marriage is a huge and important step for us both and that he as a parent will do his part to prepare me for it. And Ahmad should also prepare himself accordingly. After the discussion was over, they took out the ring. Ahmad’s nenek was damn cute cause she totally teared up and cried. I didn’t know how to comfort her cause how do you, right? She hugged and kissed me all. I haven’t seen her this emotional so I can’t imagine later on our wedding day. Hahahaha.  

Alhamdulillah, first official family meeting went well. Must take picture for keepsake right? So kids, this was how I took the first step with your dad. HAHAHAHA.

So it ended with lunch and a mini photoshoot downstairs courtesy of my sister who insisted for films. The pictures turned out really great too and the picture you see below is one of my favourites.

There’s another with my face and that’s on Ahmad’s phone wallpaper. Hahaha, but I shy la want to post it here.

Honestly speaking, this post took me 3 months to draft. Blogging from my ipad is proving to be tougher and tougher. But anyway, Alhamdulillah, it has been 8 months now since the engagement. We both shared out engagement with only close friends and family. We didn’t want to make a big deal out of it and just want to keep it simple. 

And ever since then, we’ve settled the bridal, photography and Ahmad’s reception stuff. For me, I’ll just need to confirm my venue and catering in January, InsyaAllah. My baju nikah has also been designed too! Ahmad also settled his baju nikah in Vietnam. (P.S Please lose some weight mudd.) We’re currently still discussing the honeymoon destination hahahahaha.  

It’s gonna be a busy year ahead up to the wedding day and I sure am looking forward to everything that 2019 has in store for us. It may not be easy, but as long as we have faith, we can overcome anything, InsyaAllah! 

Till here, folks! Not sure how long my next hiatus is but honestly, I have a lot I should talk about. Soon.  Soon. 

Byeeee~~~