Half A Heart

Salam!

I thought I was gonna die today. After class ended today, all of a sudden, my chest squeezed in on me again. It's been happening too frequently, given the cold weather. So while I walked with my friends to the MRT, they all asked why I was so quiet. But that's because if I talk, or even laugh with them, I'd feel the pain. :(

All the way in the train to Lakeside, I tried to sleep. But the train was somehow moving to roughly, and every slight jerk made my chest hurt. I really don't know why I have this problem. The doctor said my heart was fine! >:(

So I immediately texted Ahmad about it, just to let him know (and also in case something happened to me along the way). I bought warm soya bean drink for the walk to his house but it didn't work. Even got the shock of my life when I saw a snake at the sheltered walkway from the MRT. Yes, a snake! Kind of like a tree snake. It was right in my path and zooming in on a bird on the grass. I was so terrified that I stopped and waited until the snake glided on the grass before I continued walking. Okay, pretty insignificant.

Anyway, I reached Ahmad's house safely but even as his mum started the session, I still felt the pain. I persevered on, because, well, just didn't want to trouble them with my pain. I just moved as minimally as I could. And as much as I just wanted to lie my head on the table, I just used my hand to support my head (LOL). Stress sia.

So when the whole session ended, his mum was in the kitchen preparing food, and that's when our dear Ahmad Mustaqim came in and gave me a big cup of hot, steaming milo. You know, whenever I had chest pain and I tell him about it, he'd tell me to drink something hot. Automatically. His theory is that I get chest pain because I'm cold. Or probably my insides are cold.

So when he put the hot milo on the table, I was like, "Is this for me?" In my head, I was like, "Please tell me this is for me." & when he said it was for me, I immediately drank it, even though it was kinda hot. Just needed the warmth.

& the pain gradually faded. It was faint, but still there. But the fact that he made the hot milo for me, it just touched me deeply. T.T

And not to mention the fact that during the ngaji session, I heard him azan for the first time. And it was so...... nice. It felt like his voice was touching the depths of my heart. :')

Thanks to him, I've learnt more in a year than I have in the past years. Blessed and thankful to have a figure like him in my life. :3

Anyway, this week, thanks to Kak Lina (one of my classmates), I learnt so much about parenting styles, and the kind of parent I want to be when I have my own kids. She gave a lot of tips (already has 3 kids) and also shared about her parenting style, the way she managed her children's behaviours as well as how she approached sensitive subjects like sexual education.

And I must admit, I really like her parenting style. If all my parents were like her, I swear, our classrooms would be peaceful everyday.

But the most important thing I realised that I learnt from her is her communication with her husband about how they raised their children. From the start, they discussed together about how they want to raise their children, what kind of punishment they would mete out, and they even tried the punishments on themselves first. I mean, this kind of husband-wife/father-mother communication is rare. Like, really, really rare. That's why I find Kak Lina just so, so inspiring. :B

Alright. What a nice long post. I have loads to do, starting with my classroom decoration. I went down to the school to see the renovation progress yesterday. And boy, have I loads to do because of the massive space I have now! Pretty excited and scared and nervous too! Hek hek. :B

Until my next post, InsyaAllah! Salam, and may you be in the best of health always! :3

Only half a blue sky

Kinda there - but not quite

I'm walking around with just one shoe

I'm half a heart without you

I'm half a man - at best

With half an arrow in my chest

'Cause I miss everything we do

I'm half a heart without you