Don't Say It's Too Late

Salam!

I'm so sorry for the lack of updates. Well, if anyone's still reading, hahaha. Life's been hard lately, as usual, rushing deadlines and all that. I'm so proud of the fact that I have never once submitted an assignment late. Hopefully, it stays that way. But lately, my workload has been piling up, I've been talked about behind my back, and I've been in such a low mood lately. My appetite's suddenly so poor, I don't know what the hell happened. Sometimes, I feel like eating, and when I don't but still have to eat for energy, I feel like throwing up. And on top of that, I've been really, really negative. Everyday, after I do my Isyak prayers, I end up crying. On Thursday night, I got home late because I was from Kerbau Road so I decided to do my prayers in the TV room so as not to disturb the sleeping people in my sis's room. I cried during my do'a and eventually fell asleep on my sejadah. Sigh.

So, I get to meet Ahmad today (yay!) and after GSM rehearsal, we lunched together with my sis at Tekka Market. I like that my sis is more open to talk to him now. And vice versa for him. He used to be so shy towards my family members. Okay la, I'm also very shy towards his, so, fair la okay.

So, after my sis left to meet my mum and aunt at Bugis, Ahmad and me headed for Admiralty for the show I was performing for. We talked and caught up as usual, I love talking to him. He's one of the few people I know who could tolerate my nonsensical, unnecessary, tak perlu, kadang2 merepek comments. But sometimes, when I push it too far (like just now), he gets pissed, I think. You can just tell from his face, he just doesn't want to say anything.

Anyway, what I wanted to highlight on was something he said but I can't remember exactly when: before or after the show.

Remember I mentioned being emo and negative and stuff. Well, it was about something we discussed before. So today, I was going all negative again about it and he went something along the lines of, "Don't say like that la. You know your words pon do'a."

When it hit me, it shut me up.

So I thought, why am I like this? Because he's right. I need to have faith. In Allah, in him, in myself, and in us. :)

I guess that's about it. I'm pretty overwhelmed by my workload right now because about 15 minutes ago, Ruth texted me for the Target Setting deadline being on Monday, 12pm. Bugger. I totally wanna cry right now. Assignment not done, portfolios halfway done and this target setting. Ugggghhhhhhh.

Maybe this was why I felt sickly the entire week.

'cause this is so damn true. Sigh.

And now. the hills are getting hard to climb

I'm runnin out of time

My decisions are pending on you

And I will accept the blame

For burnin' out the flame

Hoping the story will twist once again

And if I could turn back the time

I would put you first in my life