The fact that until now, I still cry because of you when I think about what happened between us. I know I should let it go, everything you said that hurt others, hurt me, and hurt us. I know that you destroyed us with your own hands, but I can't help thinking that part of it was my fault. If I'd handled the situation better. If. Now it's too late.

& you. Keep coming into my dreams. This is the fourth time. & each time you appear, I keep apologizing to you. Is this the sign I asked for to make things better? Or is this a warning to tell me that I shouldn't try to make things better because the outcome would be the same as in those dreams; you run away each time.

A couple of days back, I was reflecting on the past few months. Things that just happened too fast, words that were written and said in anger, disappointment. Major disappointments.

I care. I've always cared. I just hate it when I'm betrayed. So many times. But even then, I still care. Like I do now, and yet, no one knows.

I pray for strength to move on, and to forgive myself.