Pretty much like this shot a lot.

Tomorrow's the last day of UT!!! I don't know why but I don't feel happy about it. The years just went by too fast. After this holidays, I'll be in Year 3. I'm not prepared for it and the UTs so far have been easy, which means they'll go strict on the moderation part. :(

So, last night, I had a long, super long chat with my maid. Mother and Father were not around, and middle sister was studying in the room while the 2 younger brats were watching TV, so I had pretty much a peaceful chat with my maid. However, it is not that much of peaceful. She was actually reading her huge encyclopedia called Al-something, where inside is all you wanna know about Islam. They cover about azab Neraka, the different categories of Neraka, to the beautiful gardens of Syurga and Ahklak and all that. So, before she made me read some sections of that book (1000++ pages, oooohhhmygawddd!) we discussed about what happened when he came by the other day. I don't really like talking about the bad stuff about my family here, especially since I know people are reading into my personal life, but I have nowhere to vent except my diary. So anyway, I learnt many shocking possibilities that my maid brought up and we discussed it last night that brought us to a few possible conclusions as well.

So firstly, all these years, he had really wanted to meet us. Well, of course, this is his elder sister we're talking about. & of course, I feel safe to say that me and Far were the only nieces that he always brought out jalan-jalan with his girlfriend. Heh. Anyway, he told my mum that he told both my youngest aunts to arrange for him to meet with my mum, but they didn't. So, obviously, they'd always had his contact number but never even told my mother. Well, I'm not surprised 'cause those two women have always been like that. & apparently, my aunt who married that ang moh actually bad-mouthed about us. Wow. That's what we get for helping her out when her house almost got sold and when she was going through divorce. Tsk3. Apa nak jadi dengan manusia skarang.

So my maid was telling me about Mother dearest talking about this radio syarahan or something that was talking about penzina and children who are unfilial to their parents. Then she said, "Ah, tu Tini kene dengar ni. Die kan dulu slalu gadoh ngan mak bapak die." & my maid actually replied something about orang yang durhaka pada ibu-bapa, Allah akan turunkan balasan di dunia, or something like that. & Mother dearest teros shut up and changed the subject.

Mom, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Terase!

But, true. Look what happened with my grandpa.

Now, moving on to that couple pulak. He told my mum that during the time when Mother halau grandpa out of the house because of what he did with that maid, apparently a few years later, something disturbed his wife until she was wheelchair bound. So when he brought his wife to see the Ustaz/tukang ubat, they said that it was sent by either my grandpa or the maid. But my maid's theory is that it's most probably the maid.

But! We're not accusing her of anything. Hanya Tuhan sahaja tau yang sebenar. But this is what we can deduce based on our own observations. So, it's not wrong.

Why did my maid say that?

Because the maid is from Madura.

I asked my maid why she thinks that way. Apparently, people from Madura (some la!) use ilmu hitam/black magic. But I protested. I said: Tapi, kalau die pakai ilmu hitam, macam mane die boleh bace Qur'an, solat tu sume?

& my maid excitedly opened her Islam encyclopedia *smack forehead* and read to me this section that was like, people who are religious on the outside as a cover for the evil things they do. I was like, whoa! Such people exists! & my maid was like, dorang masok neraka la nanti!

Duh! -.-

So I did a little research on black magic in Madura. & yeah. It's true. Not all of the people la, but there are some who practise it. & our theory is, what happened 12 years ago in that bedroom could possibly be because she used it on my grandpapa. I mean, kalau kau dah naik Haji, takkan la nak buat maksiat. So, our theory was he was possibly under a spell. & my maid said that ever since that incident, my mother swore that she would never, ever take a maid from Madura again.

So after realizing this, I was like, noooooooooooooooooooooo!!!! I've been nice to her all these years ever since I witnessed what happened and now, there is a possibility that she used that on my family members! Pffft.

No wonder my mum wants to run away so badly. Haha.

My maid even said that both Habib Saggaf and Ummi Aisyah told my mum that it's not safe if she stays in Singapore. So, from the start, they knew! -.-

& speaking of Ummi Aisyah, when she comes to Singapore for the usual maulids, when it'll be at my house, confirm that maid bace very loud. I've always found that annoying. -.-

From now on, I'll pray hard for Allah's protection around my family.

Yeah, of course I'll let it go, but you know, sometimes, you can forgive, but you can't forget. The scenes in that room are still etched in my mind till this day. Sometimes, I'd feel like digging out those bad memories just so that I wouldn't replay them at random moments or be reminded of them.

But, my maid said that from this family alone, I can learn a lot of things just by observing hard. Some members have committed many crimes and from their experience alone, I can actually become a better person. But she's too late; I've long realized it. So I guess being part of this family is kinda beneficial in some way. :D

Okay, that's it. Tata for now! :D