Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Kisah Tak Sempurna

Alhamdulillah, Farah is fine. We don't know if it's for real, but for now, she is fine. She's not in pain, so that's good enough. But she'll still be going to the doctor's to check the damage.

Well, apparently, on Tuesday night, she korek her telinga with a cotton bud. & you know how dangerous those sticks are for young kids like her. Usually, there's always someone around whenever we let her use it. It's a good thing that she's independent enough to dig her own ear but well. Anyway, what happened was she left the cotton bud sticking out in her ear while dancing to a cartoon on Playhouse Disney. So she syiok sendiri dance dance, as you can see in the picture above. The second stickman is actually the position she struck when the cartoon song ended. Cause apparently, the cartoon characters were doing that position too, both hands up, head sideways. I guess she forgot she had a stick in her ear so when she did that pose, it should have been a hard push, so that's why it poked through her ear drum. & it bled! There is a hole in her ear drum now. When I saw the dried blood in her ear, I almost threw up, seriously. But the up side is that the doctor said it can heal by itself within weeks because the hole isn't too big. I did my research, and they said the same thing. I'm just so very thankful for this. I just really, really hope that it wouldn't lead to something worse. She really is just as clumsy as her sisters. Sigh.

I hope it'll continue to rain like it did the past few days. Gloomy skies match my mood now but even the cold can't numb how I really feel inside. Sometimes, I tell myself not to expect too much. Because even I know that it'll only lead to disappointments. & sometimes, when there is only silence, you can only assume, because you're too afraid to ask. But it's okay. I'll find a way to distract myself. I succeeded before, I can do it again. :)

It's times like this where I really wish my piano was okay. Just so you know, it hurts even worse now. Because even I don't know what I want anymore. How did it get this complicated?

Aku memang tak berhati besar
Untuk memahami hatimu di sana
Aku memang tak berlapang dada
Untuk menyadari kau bukan milikku lagi

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