I spent this afternoon at my sick aunt's house in Tampiness, packing her stuff and sorting out the ones that she wants to throw away. The stuff that she won't be using at my house, we packed them into boxes and will put them in the store at I-dunno-where in Changi or something. We spent like, 4 hours packing and throwing unwanted stuff. So when I was tasked to pack the shelf of photo albums into boxes, my curiosity led me to the discovery of a few unexpected photos. Photos that I never thought existed. Meet my maternal grandmother for the first time.

I stared at her face for a long time, as though even an eternity of staring wouldn't be sufficient. She is beautiful, that's all I can say. I wish Allah had given me a chance to get to know her, even if it was for just a short time. But I think that Allah loves her more than I do, so that's why He took her away. I took this picture from the album as well. It brought some tears to my eyes. I gave that picture to my sis, since she doesn't own a picture of our grandmother. I had another one, scroll down please.

My grandparents went Haji together and I didn't know! Okay, I did la, but I forgot. When I saw this picture, I couldn't help but feel that they are perfect for each other. That my grandpa was the good guy I always saw him as. & he had stuck with her throughout her cancer. This picture was actually a polaroid, which is another reason why I wanted this picture for myself. You can see from the top of the picture that it's damn old because it's yellowing. It's been like what? 17 years since she passed away. What I would give to feel her arms around me just once. Even if that has ever happened when I was 3 and below, I have no recollections of that happening. If only I could find a picture of her carrying me in her arms. That would be enough for me, just the knowledge that she once held me.

The next picture I came across is this one. This is the flawless family I once had. When everyone is together, and there is not a missing person. Well, there is a few, they were probably behind the camera person, telling the babies to smile or something, I don't know. But at that point of time, there was no conflicts, nothing that led the family to the state it is right now. Everyone was together, there is always gatherings, and I daresay everyone was happy. Now? I don't think so. My mum has always said that if her eldest brother was still alive right now, this would not happen. All the siblings are afraid of him and will listen to him. I wasn't given a chance to get to know him either. But I know, he once held me in his arms. He passed away before my grandmother did, of brain cancer.

I feel even more drawn to the past right now. But I know that I can't stay there, because then, I'd always be miserable. I do love what I have right now, and I am grateful and thankful to have it. But sometimes, you'd look back to the better things you used to have and can't help but compare between then and now. I guess I just need to learn to get used to it.

Okay, getting too emotional. :(

This is Tom, the cat at my sick aunt's place. The other one is Jack, not in picture but you can see the tail. When the house is rented out, these cats will no longer be around. Sad much.

I guess I'll go to sleep. Had to ditch Ahmad just to get this post done. Sorry, baby. :(

Ramadhan is almost coming to an end, just less than a fortnight left. Time just really flies like nobody's business. It gets frustrating when everything just flies by so fast, that you're not able to sit back and enjoy whatever that comes. Sigh.

Bye all, hope you'll always be in the best of health. Take care! =)