Learning To Fall

I can't say that my weekend's great, 'cause this is just the beginning. Let's talk about the good parts first.

For the first time since so long, I watched MTV again. From 10.30 to 11.30 in the morning. Then, I helped to do the fruit tartlet shells, before showering. My parents brought me out for brunch, but without Sisto 'cause she went out for a movie. When we reached back home, it was about 2. So I prayed Zohor first, before hitting the bed in the TV room. Turned MTV on again and I watched I Love The Weekends, Y2K Hits & Beyond, Hits and Gerek Seh. Why did nobody tell me that All American Rejects actually have really nice songs?? Oh well. After which, I switched to Star Movies, 'cause they were showing Dr. Dolittle. I laughed my ass off. I'm not deaf, I just can't stand listening to her. Hahahahahaha. Freaking cute! After DD was Becoming Jane, which stars Anne Hathaway, who is my favourite since Princess Diaries. I cried halfway through, friggin' sad. & oh man, James McAvoy is friggin' hot in the show.

Here's the bad part. During Becoming Jane, the boys were making so much noise, and I kept telling them to lower down their volume or get out. But! They think that just because their mother is around, I won't dare to scold them. But I did anyway. I raised my voice at them, and they ignored me. So I was like, okay, never mind. I turned up the volume of the TV. Then, Zahir moved to sit on the bed, cause I was lying down on the floor, so when he speaks, all I hear is him and not the TV. So I yelled to Bibik, 'cause she was there with the baby, and Zahir was talking to her: Bibik, tolong kluar, please. 'Cause this idiot just can't shut up! & then! Their mother started yelling for the boys to go in their room 'cause she probably heard me. Then! She started yelling at Farah for no reason. ON PURPOSE. Probably because she couldn't accept the fact that I scolded her sons. If you ask me, Farah has every right to go in that woman's room because it belongs to me in the first place. So she yelled at Farah to get out but well, Farah just won't budge, I guess. & then! When my mum came back, that woman complained to my mum. & guess what? My mum was on HER side!! I was like, what the hell? I don't always get the chance to watch TV, and weekends are my only chance, so the boys could have been considerate enough to lower down their volume while I watch. But they did not, even though I told them repeatedly. Who wouldn't get angry, you tell me? Then my mum said I shouldn't have called Zahir 'idiot'. I was like, what? If you're angry, you wouldn't care about what you say, for me anyway. The things would just come out by itself. & 'idiot' is not as bad as 'son of a bitch' or something. Not like I would say it, anyway. It's just idiot! Just freaking idiot!! That woman probably wanted someone on her side, so she made it sound bad enough for my mum to pull me aside. I officially hate this house. & until this family moves out, I know I'll never be happy.

I'm considering telling my dad everything. 'Cause with my mum, nothing works.

I think I should stay outdoors on weekends too. Just so that I don't have to see her face. & vacation is coming, which means I'll see her 24/7. Hell on earth, to tell you the truth. Vacation is during Ramadhan. Hmm, which is a good thing. Puasa = patience.

I'm learning to fall, I can hardly breathe

When I'm going down, don't worry about me

Don't try this at home, you said you don't see

I don't wanna know that you know it should have been me