It feels like a whole load of weight off my shoulders right now. I spent nearly 2 months totally lost, unsure of what to do and how to react, replaying the words in my head, wanting to fight back, to defend myself. I spent hours sitting at my laptop, typing my feelings out on an email, trying to find the right words to say, hoping I wouldn't regret what I was going to do. After every prayer, I remained in the same position, asking Allah for directions, for some kind of sign to guide me to the right path. I spent hours crying because I was afraid, because I was scared, because I had no one to turn to, because everyone I turned to said the same thing, "Just leave it alone." I wasted so many tears because I really, really, really, really didn't know what to do. I'm crying so hard right now just thinking about what I went through just for one person. Yet, she had no idea.

Then, just about 30 minutes ago, I talked to the woman in the picture above. Honestly, I miss her. & I confided in her about everything that was bothering me the past 2 months. What she said in return was what I really needed to hear 2 months ago.

Whenever someone does bad things to us, no matter how bad it was, we should always try to forgive them, no matter how hard it may be to forgive them. Kerna Allah akan selalu maafkan kita bila kita minta maaf, walaupun kita slalu buat salah. It's human to make mistakes, and it's human to want forgiveness when we've done something wrong. What if one day, we've committed a sin, and Allah doesn't want to forgive us? That's why we should learn to forgive.

:(

I should have gone straight to her for advice 2 months ago. I was in constant confusion all this while. But now, I feel better. I've gone through a lot, and I've learnt from my mistakes. I lost something important to me, and I don't know if I'll ever get it back. But I've learnt a valuable lesson here and I'll always remember it. :)

Sumyar this weekend!