Jalan raye with the gang wasn't as bad as I thought it could be. Maybe it's cause the guys make it all fun. Plus me and the fans at every house. Hahahah. I swear to God, it was sucha hot day. The racist jokes were the funniest. Syed! If you're reading, I'm soooo sorry if I offended you. I really didn't mean it, even if you didn't catch the joke. Hahah. I seriously wasn't being racist, it's just a natural action, to point at an indian nearby. I feel so guilty for that. Never mind. Zulfikar surprised me when he turned up. Didn't expect him to come along. & I had a good chat with him in his kitchen. Haha. Miss that guy.

But I miss my favourite boy the most.

Hey, girl. Why have you become like this now? Have I not done my part as a sister well? Have I failed our parents, failed to take care of you? Have I been a bad example? Or have I just not been there for you when you need me? I don't want to lose you, sweetheart. I love you with all my heart, and I don't want bad things to happen to you. You've changed, girl. I don't think I even know you anymore. Your lies never stop, and I can't do anything about it. I can't change you, I can't make you change. Nothing I say ever works. But girl, if you love me, please change. I was deeply touched when you cried on the phone to me because you missed me. I didn't expect that kind of thing from you while I was away. You're too strong to break down like that. I understand that the world is weighing down on your shoulders now, but so is it on mine. I have you to worry about. I'm sorry, my dear, I think the defending has to stop. Just know that I'm doing this for your own good. I'm doing this because I love you. Because you're my sister. You know I'll always be here for you. I hope you'll stop what you're doing. If this doesn't work, then I'll have no choice but to let the adults handle you. I'm sorry.

I would have rather died than face all this.

Problem after another.

But I have to be strong, for the people I love.

I'm on the verge of breaking down.

But I need to be strong.

For myself.