Love Drunk

I hoped for the impossible. Now I'm the one who gets hurt.

Did nothing much today except read. I borrowed a couple of books from the library yesterday before Dad picked us up to have such an exciting Saturday afternoon. Blood Brothers turned out to be an indeed page-turning novel. I read the afternoon away and only stopped at about 4 'cause my eye was leaking tears again. Really, it's an amazing book, and I've only read like, 5 chapters. As I read, I couldn't help thinking that I had a lot in common with the main character, Clay, even though he was a guy. Our friendship issues were almost exactly the same. Blah, I don't wanna talk about it.

I forgot to upload the last video of Kranji yesterday. I just realized that lately, I've been very interested in videoing people and stuff. Maybe we should really get our videocamera fixed. At least, put it to good use. Now, who the hell spoilt that bloody videocam? I think it's me, haha. Hais. Anyways, here is the video. Enjoy.

School's tomorrow. Wheeps! :)

I noticed that I've been very hostile towards her. I find me being very childish about it, but I just can't help it. Number 1, she's bloody irritating. Number 2, she's irritating at the wrong times. Number 3, she pawned my mother's bloody stuff without permission. Who can bloody forgive that, you tell me?

Nawh, I won't talk about it. But I'll try to act as best I could, that I have no idea about what she's done. Me and Sisto were not supposed to know, and Dad doesn't know that we know. But the deadline's tomorrow. Bloody $3800, fall down from the sky tomorrow, kay?

Yay, my mum's gonna be bringing home Wanton Noodles from her cooking class today! Wheeps! Darn, it's only almost 6 and it's so damn dark. Think it's gonna rain again. Cloudy skies, bad omen, bad omen. But wait, rain = rezeki. I hope it doesn't rain tomorrow morning.

War of the Worlds on Channel 5 later! A must catch!

I used to be love drunk
But now I'm hungover
I'll love you forever
Forever is over

A Kampung Life Experience (Part 2)

We passed by a few interesting farms before the goat farm. Frog farm, fireflies farm (not sure if it's really the real thing) and a bird farm too. I wanted to go to the bird farm but Dad was afraid the smelly odour might make Farah throw up again, which was what we assume had made her throw up in the first place. So Dad suggested going to watch the people dig for shellfish and we went for it. Little did we know that Dad had a plan of going INTO the water. It's at Kranji by the way, a park called (somethingsomething) Battle Site, next to a bridge. & there were people camping there too. You could see the Senoko incineration plant from where you are, as well as Johor itself. Pretty cool. So anyway, here are the videos I took, even though my phone battery was at like, 19%. I'm surprised it lasted. Haha.

I'd like to add something before we continue. I know I sound damn irritating in the videos, even I myself find my voice so bloody irritating. But say and think what you like about me, 'cause this is just the way I am with my family. When you're in your comfort zone, you tend to be more open. & Sisto was hilarious. Haha. Faen!

I swear to God, this was one helluva good experience. For once, you experience a kind of like a kampung life, and you just get away from your fast-paced, stressful life by "chillaxing" (as Sisto would put it) with your family, feeling the wind play with your hair and breathing in the sweet, fresh air. This was a new and super cool experience. The driest among the four of us was Farah. She cheated! Dad carried her all the way. The next time I get to go there again, I'll bring a bucket, nets, boots and a hat. Friggin' hot, even though it was very windy.

We end with pictures. I look forward to going there again, this time, with a whole bunch of kids in tow. Haha. I'd love to scare Nabilah into the black shores. She's so penakut. She clung onto me like a koala bear just now when we watched Kuntilanak 2 on Sensasi. Haha. By the way, Sisto and I made up a song when we walked back to shore.

I love you
You love me
This is so bloody disgusting

Sing it to the tune of that Barney song. We sang a few songs too, until the part where the sand got so stinkin' deep. More screaming, and Dad tricked us also. "Go there, go there. Tak dalam sangat." Padahal dalam sey. Sisto yelled first, then me 'cause I stepped on a shell or something. & worse, people were staring at us like we were friggin' crazy. Hahahahahahaha.

I wasn't even ready sey. Sisto looks really cute. Dad & Farah; Sisto & MoiMother-in-training; goat homes; my wet jeans

That's all for today, people. If I even have people reading this blog. Haha. Bonded a lot with Dad today. It's been a while. You don't get daddies like this that often, so I count myself lucky.

It is a wise father that knows his own child - William Shakespeare

A Kampung Life Experience (Part 1)

Today was lovely. After dropping my mum and Cik Azizah off at Causeway Point for their culinary course or whatever, Dad drove us sisters down to the Goat Farm at Kranji, I think? The thing I love about Dad is that he always brings us to experience new stuffs. Well, not always, but when we do get together, it's something new.

So, my thoughts on the goat farm? Phew, se-melly. But well, what to do? It's their nature, I think. Then again, smelly smelly pon ade gune nye jugak kan. Anyway, we spent like, 10 to 15 minutes there, walking around and just "admiring" the little goats. The baby ones are cute, I wonder if they have a special place for the adult goats to mate? Ohmygawd la, my mind.

New word of the day: Teat. Sisto actually thought the pink thing was called nipple, but we found out it was actually called teats. & I figured that's where the word "tits" came from. & goats have two teats! While cows have... four? Damn, I forgot already, but I know goats have two. The sign said so. Haha.

So, Dad bought two 200ml bottles of chocolate goat milk for us to try. We decided to drink in the car because there was aircon. The place, the whole damn weather was friggin' hot. But once inside, Farah threw up all over the car upholstery. I was the first to get out of the car, 'cause I was near the door. Dad carried Farah out, then closed the damn door, leaving Sisto in the car with the damn smell. I can't forget her expression. Haha. So Sisto and I washed Farah up (thank gawd there were two sinks there!) while Dad cleaned the car. After the whole cleaning thing, we sat at the sort of like a small canteen there, to drink the milk. Results:

It was quite nice. Dad's bottle had more chocolate flavour in it, making it a whole lot nicer than ours. It tasted a little close to that Magnolia Chocolate Milk that Farah likes. Just that, this one needs more chocolate flavour.

A lovely experience. My first visit at a goat farm, I was a little excited, though Sisto was even more excited than me, even though this wasn't her first visit. So I didn't really pay any attention to the goats' housing. Kate ACRES volunteer kan. *winkwink at Sarah* But I didn't liao, even though I noticed that they look so...... sad. Like they're having such a boring life. Sit all day for the next morning to be milked, then sit again for the rest of the days.

So this is part one of the day. Farah was high after she threw up. Like, damn hyper, even Sisto couldn't take it. Haha.

We can only learn to love by loving - Iris Murdock

Kelsey

Today was a mixture of emotions; first happy, then worried, then pissed. I'll start with the pissed.

I don't want to drama about it, and I'm trying to be as "adult" as I can about it. It was what I expected anyway, so I'm not too surprised. But to think that you still would do it to us, to repeat history itself. After all the help that we've given you, all that we've done for you, all the chances that my parents granted you, you can actually turn around and stab us in the back. You thought you could get away with it, thinking we'd never find out, but oh, you are so bloody wrong. & gawd, why is it that a good day for me has never ended well without having you to ruin the ending for me? What kind of a person are you? Have you no shame? You're already living in our bloody house, you took my bloody room from me, you don't even pay for "duit makan", you suck my parents dry of their money, and you can still do this to us. Have you no heart? You pawned my mother's only remaining gift from my grandmother, your own mother! Wow, man, wow. You really are selfish, more than ever. Fuck it, alright. Thanks so much for ruining our lives. You already betrayed us once, and I'll never forget that. We forgave you willingly, and now, YOU BETRAYED US AGAIN. Is this what we get for being kind? I knew as much this would happen. I just knew it. A leopard can never change its spots. I knew it. It doesn't pay to be kind. Now, Dad has like, what? 3 more days to get that necklace back from the pawn place. You pawned it for $3800, UNDER MY DAD'S NAME, and yeah, can still go enjoy. THEN WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS GONNA HAPPEN TO ALL YOUR OTHER HUTANG TO MY PARENTS?! Wah, fuck it man, I'm angrier now. & gawd, thanks to you, I got so vulgar. Okay, I don't know how this pawn thing works but I heard from Sisto that THAT BLOODY WOMAN has to pay the pawn shop the amount she got in order to get the necklace back. I don't think she even bloody cares, but it was my mum's gift from my grandma, so Dad wants it back. The thing is, who is gonna pay that 3800 bucks? & if my dad's gonna do it, where the hell is he gonna get that much money in just 3 days? & if he can't raise the sum, that necklace is gone. Wah, fuck it, thanks alot, bitch. I hope my own jewellery from Mama is not with you too. You are one..... Sheesh, I can't even find the appropriate word to describe you. Ohmygawd la.

Right, I'll drop the subject. For now. I reached home in an upbeat, happy mood because today had been awesome, and suddenly I received that. Spoil, man. Anyway, a little something to lighten this post. Pictures to describe an awesomeness day.

Shoo, Megan Fox, shoo. Shia's mine.^^

The girls are such awesome fun. Sapaw ah, however you spell that. & gawd, I loooove the science faci already. He was such a great help today. & can you believe I forgot what he look like already? I am so weird. It's only been like, 2 weeks? Hah.

The worry is this coming Wednesday. I know it's just a consultation, but still, they'll be telling me how bad it's gonna be. & THAT is what I'm so terrified of. I was shaking all the way down to my toes when I received the reminder sms. I was like, oh man, this friggin' reality will never leave me, no matter how I hard I try to live life as normally as I could. I sound like I'm sick, but I actually am not. Haha. Sounds like cancer, but it's not. But it's bad enough.

My right eye tears by itself. I think my inner self is sad. Haha! I feel like writing a song, but I don't know how liao. Haha. If say, I do write, Ain would sing it for me. Haha. Ohmygawd la, my eye's tearing again. Whoaa~~!!

Kelsey's my new ringtone! Like, finally, after months of using Thunder.

I want you so much, I need you so much
I need you, I need you, your touch

& I'll swim the ocean for you

The ocean for you, whoa, oh Kelsey

Terlanjur Cinta

I don't know why I'm here again. But I'm here. It's too early to go to sleep and I have nothing better to do. Fought with Sisto in the afternoon over something small. Man, why do I have to be the elder sister to two stubborn girls? Sheesh. So I left the house with little Farah and Nabilah and Bibik (who is right now, tengah seronok ketawe sendiri). I'll upload the hilarious video I took while at the playground just now with them. It's 8 minutes long, and I'm too lazy now.

Did I mention that Syed sms-ed me this morning out of the blue? I actually forgot about it in the day, but I was looking through my inbox to delete old messages when I saw his. He was like, "How are you today? Back to school right. Take care n don't get infected. Btw, sorry bout yesterday for the no privacy thing (smileyface)" He sms-ed at like, 8.38am. I think I replied, if I'm not wrong... Oh yeah, I did. Because Syai woke me up at 8 with his sms. & I couldn't go back to sleep after that. Tsk. Anyway, it was nice talking to Syed on MSN yesterday. I really miss the old Sec.2 days, when he sat in front of me, and taught me Maths. & it was thanks to him and Ruijie that I passed Maths for the FYE that year. Will never forget their help, of course.

Faen, is a new word I learnt today, thanks to Pakcik Ahmad. Vad Faen is another. & oh, he gave us his blog link and I read it, and sheesh, the first thing I saw was Kak Siti. I am like, dotdotdot. Ohh, best eh bully Kak Siti? Inside joke, eh? Jage kau nanti, pakcik. Faen ah. Hahaha, cool shit sia this word.

My mum's been bugging me to upload the pictures for the kenduri to her website. I have to go do it now liao. But while waiting for the pictures to upload, I just gotta keep my fingers moving. So, I'm here.

Let's see, what can we talk about. Oh! Tomorrow! E-Learning will be at National Library. Oh, which reminds me, I'm meeting Mirah at Simei's platform at 9. I must not be late again, like I did the last two times I met up with her for something. I feel so guilty. Somehow, I notice that people always have to wait for me. Daughter of Mr. Yow, countless of times. Guilt, guilt. So let's see, Zoo and Mud not going tomorrow. So if my calculations are correct, it'll be four girls and two guys tomorrow. & oh! Mirah's going to kenekan Azhar tomorrow! Best, best. Yeah, maybe I am a little sadistic. Hahaha. I never used to be. Damn, I've changed. But deep down, I'm still the old me. Grade A nerd.

Haha.

This is one lengthy and boring post. Moving on...

School starts for me on Monday. I was like, bloody hell. I was so looking forward to Friday, to return to school at last, even if there may be traces of the deadly virus around school. At least, being in school is alot better than here. I keep getting bullied by a girl 15 years younger than me. I am actually afraid of her, even. One punch can make you bleed. Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a little, but gawd, Farah. I had to wrestle her away from my laptop, and can you believe I lost? She screamed at me for Mr. Bean when I wanted to watch MTV Hits, and can you believe I lost? She ordered me to keep my music down while she watched TV and can you believe I got smacked when I didn't listen to her? Sheesh. School would be better for me than getting physically abused by my own sister. Haha. But beneath this rough surface of my sister, is a cute, adorable, beautiful girl. As for the other one, I don't know. She gets rebellious every other day that I myself can't even help my parents control her.

I know I'm talking 'bout boring stuffs. But I really gotta let this all out. My blog, my feelings. People use their blogs in different ways. Different people have different opinions. Yeah, cognitive. & did I mention I got a friggin' A for Enterprise for the first time?? The first D I got, I actually swore at that faci, behind his back, of course. But then, this A is for E-Learning. It doesn't count. Ah, crap. Spoil.

Moving on.

Why do I suddenly have so much to say? I think I better go now. Battery's running low. I hope this weekend's free. I wanna sleep as much as I can. Kinda miss him now. Been a while since I last spoke to him.

Right. Till next time. Ta!

Kini terlambat sudah untuk dipersalahkan

Karna sekali cinta aku tetap cinta

She Will Be Loved

ku

The video was taken a couple of months ago. It's really cute. & by the way, I did not sing in this video. Just get that straight. (I told Ahmad that too but still...) I'm not very proud of my singing voice, so yeah. I happened to stumble upon this video just now. I sent it to Ahmad too.

Am doing Programming now, with the help of Mirah and Azhar, and a little contribution by Ahmad. As for me, I'll just listen (well, in this case, read) their answers on MSN convos. Even the malay gang have a few scandals. Hahaha. & we have a love triangle too. Is this cute or what? Haha. I'm being weird again.

I can't believe this E-Learning thing keeps me from my shower time. There'll be so much to do, and then I'll forget to shower. Like, now? Haha.

Ohoh! I finished reading "Music From A Place Called Half Moon" and it's amazing. It delivers a strong message to readers and I recommend this book to all racists. Friendships don't shape on colour. Or appearance, or size, or status, or anything else. How true is that? I love my friends, no matter what happens. 'Cause I feel blessed to have them, even if they'll do bad stuffs to me one day. Right. No emo-ing. Toodles!

BIG NEWS! I JUST CHECKED LEO AND I GOT A FOR ENTERPRISE, ELEARNING.
COOL SHITS!

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain

Good Day

I was looking through my pictures when I stumbled upon pictures that I have never uploaded anywhere else. Maybe not even Facebook. So I thought maybe everytime I post, I'll put up some picture. Doesn't have to be me in it, but anything. So, the first picture would be my family portrait. Well, not really. But don't we look like a family? One mummy, one daddy, and four baby cubs. Hahaha. I'm weird.

Anyway, I was doing the E-Learning thing just now, when my dad just came upon me and half-yelled, "Did you use my room toilet?" I was like, "Err... No, I just woke up." I think he kinda calmed down 'cause he was like, "Okay, don't use our toilet. Rosak already." & guess what I did when he went? I laughed my bloody ass off. I know why I did though. My dad still doesn't know I'm the one who broke the toilet door. Come, let me re-tell it:

This house is damn bloody old. When we first moved in, it was more than a few years old. I'm not sure how old it was back then. But the time we moved in, I was 9. Now I'm almost 18, do the math. Anyway, my dad's room toilet door is actually a sliding door. So a few weeks back, we realized that the door track was rusty, I think, probably because of the water that my little sisto's always spraying out of the damn bathtub. That's probably why the door screeches and jerks when you wanna close it. So one fine day, when I was done doing my business in the toilet, I tried to slide the door open. It wouldn't budge. So I used a little force. & the damn door actually jumped out of the track and would have landed on my toe if I hadn't jumped out of the way in time. And the frame actually broke. It broke! I was shocked, I swear. So I leaned the door against the wall, and ran away. Less than an hour later, my mum yelled for me and I had to ceritekan to her. I don't know why my dad still doesn't know the real story. Haha.

The next thing that is spoilt in there is the shower. The knob wouldn't spray out the water anymore. Next, is the damn sink, it's almost falling off. & next, is the toilet spray spray. You know, when you're done peeing, you use that spray thing to wash up. Yeah, that. That toilet is in the worst state than any part of the house. Pretty cool, actually, 'cause at night, it feels like it's a haunted house's toilet. Haha.

Gawd, I wanna go back to school. I didn't realize how bad it would be to actually stay home. I have to put up with the other family's lazy maid and frequent mood swings. & the two brats of the other family. & then, there's little Farah and Nabilah. They're always fighting, and when they're not, they'll team up to mess up the house. I think it's best that I remain outdoors the whole day, no matter how tired it might make me.

Programming, tomorrow. Garghaeghearhgh. (That weird sound I made when I missed the Summer Hair=Forever Young music video on MTV just now)

You're looking for something you can't find
If you give it up, you'll lose your mind