Kelsey

Today was a mixture of emotions; first happy, then worried, then pissed. I'll start with the pissed.

I don't want to drama about it, and I'm trying to be as "adult" as I can about it. It was what I expected anyway, so I'm not too surprised. But to think that you still would do it to us, to repeat history itself. After all the help that we've given you, all that we've done for you, all the chances that my parents granted you, you can actually turn around and stab us in the back. You thought you could get away with it, thinking we'd never find out, but oh, you are so bloody wrong. & gawd, why is it that a good day for me has never ended well without having you to ruin the ending for me? What kind of a person are you? Have you no shame? You're already living in our bloody house, you took my bloody room from me, you don't even pay for "duit makan", you suck my parents dry of their money, and you can still do this to us. Have you no heart? You pawned my mother's only remaining gift from my grandmother, your own mother! Wow, man, wow. You really are selfish, more than ever. Fuck it, alright. Thanks so much for ruining our lives. You already betrayed us once, and I'll never forget that. We forgave you willingly, and now, YOU BETRAYED US AGAIN. Is this what we get for being kind? I knew as much this would happen. I just knew it. A leopard can never change its spots. I knew it. It doesn't pay to be kind. Now, Dad has like, what? 3 more days to get that necklace back from the pawn place. You pawned it for $3800, UNDER MY DAD'S NAME, and yeah, can still go enjoy. THEN WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS GONNA HAPPEN TO ALL YOUR OTHER HUTANG TO MY PARENTS?! Wah, fuck it man, I'm angrier now. & gawd, thanks to you, I got so vulgar. Okay, I don't know how this pawn thing works but I heard from Sisto that THAT BLOODY WOMAN has to pay the pawn shop the amount she got in order to get the necklace back. I don't think she even bloody cares, but it was my mum's gift from my grandma, so Dad wants it back. The thing is, who is gonna pay that 3800 bucks? & if my dad's gonna do it, where the hell is he gonna get that much money in just 3 days? & if he can't raise the sum, that necklace is gone. Wah, fuck it, thanks alot, bitch. I hope my own jewellery from Mama is not with you too. You are one..... Sheesh, I can't even find the appropriate word to describe you. Ohmygawd la.

Right, I'll drop the subject. For now. I reached home in an upbeat, happy mood because today had been awesome, and suddenly I received that. Spoil, man. Anyway, a little something to lighten this post. Pictures to describe an awesomeness day.

Shoo, Megan Fox, shoo. Shia's mine.^^

The girls are such awesome fun. Sapaw ah, however you spell that. & gawd, I loooove the science faci already. He was such a great help today. & can you believe I forgot what he look like already? I am so weird. It's only been like, 2 weeks? Hah.

The worry is this coming Wednesday. I know it's just a consultation, but still, they'll be telling me how bad it's gonna be. & THAT is what I'm so terrified of. I was shaking all the way down to my toes when I received the reminder sms. I was like, oh man, this friggin' reality will never leave me, no matter how I hard I try to live life as normally as I could. I sound like I'm sick, but I actually am not. Haha. Sounds like cancer, but it's not. But it's bad enough.

My right eye tears by itself. I think my inner self is sad. Haha! I feel like writing a song, but I don't know how liao. Haha. If say, I do write, Ain would sing it for me. Haha. Ohmygawd la, my eye's tearing again. Whoaa~~!!

Kelsey's my new ringtone! Like, finally, after months of using Thunder.

I want you so much, I need you so much
I need you, I need you, your touch

& I'll swim the ocean for you

The ocean for you, whoa, oh Kelsey