Hi, Syai. You sent me a random text message that confused me, and you wouldn't reply to my text messages or my MSN nudges. So I turned to your blog for answers. Your posts made me cry a little and when I saw that one up there, I cried harder. I hope you're proud of us, because you were the director of our love story and without you, 16 months wouldn't have been possible. I'll always pray for you, because you deserve happiness, and someone who would love you as much as you love them. I'm positively sure that one day, you'll find that someone who would appreciate your love. Until then, you know your friends would always be there for you. Always ingat Allah okay?

Here's a little something that I stumbled upon:

When to Fight For the One You Love

In my last relationship, I hardly fought for her. From the beginning, I was told our relationship had an expiration date—she didn’t want long distance relationships. Despite that, I decided to make every day count from June til the end of summer. When the time came, I was willing to let her go without chasing after her. Within weeks, we couldn’t really survive without each other and it became a long distance relationship.

However, that feeling of anxiety didn’t dissipate; it would consume me some nights. Even though I would do sweet things, I never felt secure. We had very different personalities and very different views on alcohol especially. When she broke up with me again and again, I just wouldn’t do something about it. It’s because I thought she deserved better. And what I have to say is this.

You should fight for the one you love, but only if you actually love them. If you just want a significant other, you’re just being selfish. If you love that person, you have to prove it to them. Not all love stories work themselves on their own.

One more, before we move on.

When to Let Go of The One You Love

Remember when I said relationships can be a lost cause? It’s true. Sometimes people stay in unhealthy relationships and the reasons are not logical by any means. Some people just do not know who to live without a significant other, but instead they project this mythic image onto them; losing them, would be losing everything.

Herman Hesse said, ”some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go.”

Love isn’t always about clutching someone to show that you care about them. Love is not selfish or at least it shouldn’t’ be; love is about letting them be an individual too and if their life is better without you, you have to accept that. You can’t keep someone with you because you “need” them. Love shouldn’t be about being someone’s burden. You should be the opposite actually—you should bring them up.

No one wants to let go of someone they love. No one wants to let go of the feeling of that has awakened their lives, but not everything is about you. A relationship is between two people.

You have to learn to let go.

And like heiress78 said, letting go of that person can bring you to a better place. All those bruises and scars made you a stronger person, moving you closer to a better life that you have to seek for yourself.

This isn't just for Syai. I think there are some of us who still can't let go of a person. Be it a person you were once involved with, or a close friend, or family. I think that moving on and letting go applies for any category you're in. I'm learning to let go too. This weekend, we're gonna be packing her stuff and throwing some out, and next week is the 40 day kenduri. I'm doing good, I guess. Even possessing some of her stuffs doesn't hurt that much anymore. It's just those random moments when I think of her and about the things I couldn't do to show her and make her feel proud that makes me feel sad and I'll cry. But I know someday, I'll look up in the sky and feel her watching over us. I won't feel sad then, but happy that she's somewhere better.

Now, enough of the emoshit. I met up with Maisarah Kamal yesterday. The last time I saw her was in January this year, I think. I've missed her a lot ever since she left RP. But, I was happy to meet her again yesterday. We sat at the Food Junction from 4.30 plus to 6.30, just talking about our friends, Syai, relationships, driving, school, old times, and everything there is. & I doubt that was even enough. After that, went to look for her winter socks since she's off for Germany today until the 22nd of this month. Lucky woman. China earlier this year, then Germany. Haha. We laughed a lot yesterday, and I keep teasing her about the old times. When we'd do stupid stuff together. Haaai, missed those times. & the girl too. She was my love guru then, and still is. She gave me a lot of food for thought after the meetup. :)

I kind of love today. A lot of things made my day. I hope it continues. Even though PHP stressed my brains out. The best part is today, Ahmad and me were oh-so-sweet and romantic to each other. Tak tau lah angin ape. Not complaining though. Heh.

I'm going for the Sec 5NA reunion on the 20th. Woooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bye for now. Take care. & may you all always be in the best of health. :)