Mum's birthday celebration on Christmas @ Swensens.

I think this wedding is the best so far.

Well, in terms of the setup, deco, entertainment and whatever.

(The food wasn't too good. All of us were farting away after we ate. HAHA.)

The part where the pengantin laki kissed the pengantin perempuan,

it kinda brought a little tears to my eyes, I don't know why.

It's a natural awwww reaction, so shut up.

OMG.

There's meeting tomorrow.

I don't know how I got caught in the meetings lately and I'm so scared to be in the committee because I'm so scared I'll be so busy.

Busier than I already am.

There's Gamelan this week.

Then there's UTs to study for.

WEB & MATHS

MATHS.

Freaking MATHS.

(Wait, then when is Comms UT?)

Then there's Mum's pictures to upload to the website.

Which I'm struggling to do right now because there's more orders this week.

Plus the cheesecakes she's making.

I'm contemplating right now whether I should go for the Zikir tonight.

& Mum just threw me offguard just now when she said she's sending me to either Habib Sagaff or Umie Aisyah next year during my 2 months vacation.

I don't know what to feel.

I wanna go, but I don't wanna go.

She wants me to do all the religious stuff there.

FOR A MONTH.

ONE FREAKING MONTH.

ALONE.

Because during that time, sister has school. & N Levels.

Okay, I'm freaking out right now.

Like, really freaking out.

Indonesians.

And my malay sucks.

Especially when I'm speaking it.

Mum went, "You can teach English to the anak yatim there. Pahala tau."

I was like, errrrrr. Okay.

*gaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssssssppp*

I said OKAY!

OMG, I just realized that!

Gaaah, fuck.

Mum said a "Umi Waheedah/Wahidah" (however you spell it) will tend to me there. Ngaji and stuff. My mum wants me to katam. (however you spell that)

"One day, one juz."

Gaaaaaaah.

Somebody. Save. Me.

It's a really nice book.

I wanted to share it with you, but I didn't get the chance to.

I wish things could be the way it used to be.

i dont know what to say

i feel bad cause its the second time its happening

maybe its not you guys

maybe its just me

you have no idea how fucking guilty i feel now

i got a clearer picture of it

no one should suffer because of me

im sorry.

i miss you too.

Awesome dayy.

Love it to bits.

Had serious talk with sister as we watched the boys swim.

Realized that it's time to break away.

Ohwells.

We'll see how it goes.

GNK Day Camp

It was fun, the games parts. Training was so-so, me at my usual spot with the gongs. I love the gongs. Period. It was fun while it lasted, till the pain came on the second day/night. Gosh, that was the... I don't know, man. At that point of time, I really wished I was dead. Tried not to cry, so that I wouldn't attract attention so that's why I left while they were all taking pictures. I really think there's more to this pain than meets the eye.

Mum knows about my pain without me even telling her a single thing. I guess that's the power that mothers have. They can feel it, whatever 'it' is. Hahah. Going to her "GUY-NI" next week.

Speaking of Mum, she has a wedding cupcake display again this weekend at Bedok! Pink and purple again. -.- What's with customers and pink? Seriously.

I'm sorry to make you worry. I'm grateful that you care. But I am scared.

& nothing can make me feel better.

I love you too.

I don't have the best kitchen in the world.

(I'm still afraid of the stove)

But it's a good place to bond with my sister.

Who is a better cook than I am.

Every word that you said is still stuck in my mind

Do we all really have such a fate?

I can hardly believe it.

Ohwell.

We'll still die in the end.

:)

This is what you get when you're bored at 1.28am.

I love this!!!!

How come when I'm not emo-ing, ALOT of people are?

Kinda weird. Hmm.