Salam!

I'm taking a break from my lesson plan evaluations right now. Never knew being a teacher was so tiring. But it's just for now. Hopefully when I'm done with decorating and all the other stuff, I'll be handling everything much better.

At the moment, I'm finding it very hard to see my savings increase. Well, it's understandable because of my family's current financial instability, it's only normal that I help out. So in the end, I dig out my savings of the past one year to help my parents with whatever they need. Thus causing my savings to drop.

The things is, the fact that I used my POSB 'baby' account as my savings account is what I would now consider a very bad decision/idea. Because through iBanking, I can access both this baby account and my current account (where my salary goes into). So when I need money, I'll just open up iBanking and just transfer from the baby account to my current one, the one I frequently use. 

Bad right? Hais.

So I was telling my boyfriend about this and he suggested Maybank's savings plan called Ar-Rihla. 

I just badly need to save money. I just need a proper savings account that I have no easy access to except from an ATM or the bank itself. And what I want is to deposit only, and no withdrawal. This money would be purely the savings, not for my degree.

I just want to feel stable, ya know? Like as in, feel that oh, I have this account where all I do is put money in and save and save without taking it out for my own benefit, so that as it multiplies, I know I have something to back me up should I really, really, desperately need it someday.

I've been so desperate to save that I've been bringing food from home for lunch now. I save more, yes, but well, it kept going to my parents. Hahaha. Wellll.

So, hopefully, in the coming months, especially when LOC comes and my pay increases, I'd be able to save more, in the Maybank one AND the baby bank. InsyaAllah. :)

I don't really know what the point of this post is but I guess I just needed to vent about the fact that my savings are slowly disappearing. Sigh.

Still trying to be strong. :)

Salam. 

That's The Way It Is

I miss my long hair.

I miss being worry free.

I miss going on long holidays.

I cannot believe this was 4 years ago! Things have changed so, so, so much. And I have changed so, so, so much. And apparently, my dear boyfriend said I'm better now as compared to back then. I wonder why. He said I'm less emo now. And I don't know what else.

If I could only play the me years ago like a television to find out. I'm curious as to what I was like back then. But that's past. I never want to ever go back to the person I was before. I'm teaching myself to be positive, still trying my best, but I never want to be that person again. All the negativity damaged me, as well as my relationships with the people who matter to me.

So, here's to a better me, InsyaAllah. :)

My boss will kill me because it's Week 8 of the term and I haven't written a single thing in my reflection journal. Just, great. Where got time for RJ anymore huh. Hahahahaha!

So, I made an appointment. Just to check up on how things are going. It's been 2 years plus. Time flies so fast when you least expect it. I've been so dependent on it, it's like a part of me now. Without it, I feel like an empty shell. :(

I pray for strength everyday, I pray for courage everyday, to face it and to someday be able to get the words out of my mouth. :')

I don't know what the point of this post is but I just needed something to fill my time while I rack my brains as I do my literacy centre task cards. I can't wait till I complete decorating my Virtue board, current issues board, literacy board, numeracy board and discovery board. 

Holy, that's a lot to do! Sigh.

I told boss that I won't be able to complete my stuff if she don't give me time off to do my work in the afternoons. Rachelle's classroom doesn't look so bad because she has so many stuff. Mine looks bare because of the numerous pinboards that they put up for me, and because I didn't have the time to put much things up, it made the classroom look bare. :(

Anyway, wish me luck. I'm looking forward to the June holidays. Hopefully, I get to go for a short getaway. Before I start my degree and things get too complicated and I get too busy. :(

So, my update ends here. Wish me luck for the next few weeks. And nope, March holidays are no holidays at all. :(

Salam! :3

When you want it the most there's no easy way out

When you're ready to go and your heart's left in doubt 

Don't give up on your faith 

Love comes to those who believe it 

And that's the way it is

Tonight

Because I've been busy with all these.

I changed the physical layout of my class quite a few times.

But this will be final 'cause it made the classroom more spacious.

Sometimes I feel like I'm decorating my own home.

Hahahaha.

Assalamualaikum!

Sorry for the lack of updates for the past I don't know how long but it's long enough. Well, I don't care if anyone reads my blog anymore but the whole point of the blog is for me to rant and probably just share some things that's happening in my life.

For starters, I'm deprived of a life. Period. Come home, do work, go work, do work, go to sleep, think of work. Life can be a little stressful sometimes but I'm starting to cope better than I was in January. The parents are starting to warm up a little to me, though I've started to get annoyed by some.

Anyhoos, I kind of like the children better now. I realised that I need to embrace their behaviours in order to see their true sides. I have funny moments with them too. And they love jokes, and even laugh at my very lame jokes! Big surprise there. Cause people my age or older will just find me weird.

Funny moment 1:

Me: What are other ways you can show your parents that you are caring towards them?

Krishetha: When me and my mummy and daddy go supermarket, I help them by carrying *does carrying hand gesture* the bags.

Me: Carrying?

Krishetha: *paiseh cause she thinks she's wrong*

Me: *confident rabak* Children, when I say caring, it means to care for someone. To be nice towards others. Not carrying things.

Children: *laugh their assess off*

Me: *nak tarik tudung off*

Looking back, I thought maybe she meant the act of helping to carry the bags is caring towards her parents. Or.....not? Makes me laugh when I think about it hahaha! It's funny when children misunderstand you at the same time that you misunderstand them. It's like whatever they say could have many meanings and rationales.

Funny moment 2:

Me: So, how do you show your friends that you are caring towards them?

Praveenaa: *raises hand (MY BIGGEST RULE HAHA)* I eat chocolate for my friend.

Me: *stunned for a moment until it registers* You eat chocolate FOR your friend? *start laughing*

So, that's work. :)

Besides having a tough week and staying back till midnight on one of the days because the Big Boss was coming the day after, I feel pretty okay. And then that was when I realised that I should take the UniSim degree in early childhood.

Why? Because it's guaranteed recognised here in SG. I mean, if I were to take the one by Monash, it isn't fully recognised in SG, so what's the point of wasting 30K of my money when I know I won't be moving to Australia anytime soon? Besides, if I were to take the degree by UniSim, I would be recognised as an academic degree holder, not just in early childhood. That's a definite plus, of course. There's also 55% government subsidy so financially, I'd be able to afford it on my own without help from my parents. They've enough on their plates already.

I don't know what's holding me back though. Maybe it's the duration of the course. 3.5 years. Minimum. But then again, time will pass very fast, so that's okay. The modules are quite incredible. Very in-depth and complicated-sounding, so good luck to me. I'll probably apply in early March, if AIC can't get back to me about giving my transcript earlier.

Today, I went to the HDB place again with my parents. But while we had breakfast, my mum made a comment that, I don't know, I felt sad when I heard it. She said something along the lines of, Umie harap Long masih provide for Umie and Abah even lepas Ah Long kahwin.

My first thought was, is she doubting me?

Then I thought it's probably every parent's fear: being forgotten after their kids get married. Somehow, I felt sad that she would think that way for me. I mean, after all I've done to help her and my dad, ever since I got a job, doesn't it say anything? Me working hard, me planning to get a degree so that it'll entitle me to a much higher pay, is so that I can provide better for my parents. And future family. It's just, quite a turmoil of feelings. :(

On a brighter note! I made honey cornflakes the other day. Gave one small container to Ahmad 'cause I feel bad for not bringing stuff over lately. I know 'busy' is just an excuse but yeah, I've been busy. Hahahaha.

 1 big box of cornflakes

Double boil butter and honey together

Mix them, duh.

Tadaaa!

Apparently the honey I used is not sweet and thick enough.

It's just a bottle I found at home.

So next time, use a brand called Hosen. :)

Guess that's about it, folks. I'm running out of things to say that isn't private. Till here then. Salam and may y'all be in the best and safest of health. :3

Love, 

Faz lovin'-my-door lun

Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up

I need your loving hands to come and pick me up

And every night I miss you

I can just look up and know the stars are holding you

Holding you, holding you 

Tonight

I miss you so terribly.

Damn, I love his style.

This song never gets old on me, plus he charms your pants off. :3

Today's update: K2 kiddos on the Hippo Tour bus to Chinatown.

(The girl leaning forward on the back of the seat actually vomited a while after this picture. Kesian.)

Saturday's update: Adventure Cove with one of my best girlfriends. :3

She refused to go snorkelling with the fishes behind us.

Rainbow Reef: I had a hard time trying to convince her. :(

Sweetest boyfriend update: A quick slideshow on the past two years.

This was probably because of my insecurity the other day. Sigh.

I have issues and I know it.

But this man is always ever so patient with me. :')

That will be all for today's post.

Sorry, just not in the mood to even rant. :(

Burgerfazzz

Salam!

I'm back with another recipe!! Yup yup, still gonna keep it up. Time to talk about something else other than my life and how I'm starting to feel tired of working life and wishing I could go back to doing stupid stuff in secondary school. Buttt..... anyway, here's the very simple recipe of my home-made burger!! Burger Daging style Ah Long Gong!

Okay NOT.

Moving on...

Onions, but must chop finer than this.

Like, really really small-ly diced.

Daging cincang!

I forgot how many grams this is though! Oops!

And little bit sprinkles of these above.

Okay, actually I only put oregano leaves and cajun.

The rest, I changed my mind after the photo but lazy wanna take picture again because tangan dah kotor.

After you mix them up, ball them up and flatten into patties like the above!

Then, pop them all in the freezer.

Make as many so that anytime you need it, just thaw it and fry it and burger it!

How I make my burger?

Burger bun.

1. Bottom of burger bun
2. Fried sunny side up egg
3. Cheese
4. The patty
5. BBQ sauce
6. Chilli
7. Top of burger bun

Tadaaa!

*hearts coming outta mah eyes*

So there you go! You're welcome and Salam! May you stay in the best of health always! :3

Love,
Fazzzz :3

Assalamualaikum!!

Yeah, it's been a pretty long time since my last post. I'm so sorry I've been so extremely busy. Even right now, I should be doing the freaking final assignment that will be due this Thursday. And heck, I don't even know how to get to AIC's new location at Paya Lebar. But, just a quick update.

My classroom's doing pretty okay. My K2s are pretty much driving me up the wall everyday but, I realised this week how smart they really are despite the...wild behaviour. Rachelle said my class are smarter than hers, so I guess it explains enough. Hahaha. Well, at least I've got good role models to set the examples for me whenever I need it. I've got this Chinese boy who is such a really good boy. You could call him the teacher's pet. He does his work very fast and all correctly. And after that, he volunteers to help me. Whether it's filing, or arranging worksheets, or helping to direct his friends' worksheets to the right box, he's there for me. While I mark their worksheets as they play, he'll just lean over me and watch. And he's such a cute boy! So small yet smart. He often tells me he doesn't want to play, and sometimes it makes me wonder whether my toys and activities are boring to him or he's just too smart. Hahahaha.

Now, let's talk about my EX-students. Everytime I walk past the K1s who knew me from last year, and the way they greet me excitedly, I miss them even more. Even though they're right in front of me, I still miss them. I miss being able to hug them anytime I want. I miss their endless chatter. I miss their cheerful laughter. Especially my N2-4. Wayn, especially. Everytime I pass by them, I regret taking on K2. I know I will eventually have to work with the teachers I don't like, but I just wasn't willing to do it with the same one this year again, after last year. Besides, taking K2 meant I'm at the last bay, away from gossip or drama. The only drama I will have is with Rachelle, and that's usually unexpected. And the one in the wrong is always me because of my freaking forgetfulness. Sigh.

I'm growing old. Well, of course I am! It's just that, it's faster than I thought it would be. My forgetfulness is getting worse. I FORGOT TO WASH THE TOYS ON FRIDAY. Happily went off because I was feeling TGIF after a stressful week. But this forgetfulness needs to be overcome ASAP. I can't afford to screw up. K2 parents are not to be messed with. Sigh. Why did I think of taking K2? Oh, because I didn't want to deal with the Missus for another year. Running away, you can call it. Pfft.

Hell, it's gonna be a busy week preparing for the Chinese New Year crafts. *smacks face*

Oh! My cousin, who married last September, is now expecting his first child! But the first trimester is not going too well 'cause Kak Fatila keeps throwing up to the point that it caused dehydration. When Kak Fazlina was getting engaged last Saturday, Abang had to go to the hospital to accompany Kak Fatila. :(

And now that Kak Fazlina is engaged (for 2 years), my relatives are now looking at me. I'm the only girl among the cousins who are my age. People are asking me when is my turn.

Seriously, if only getting married was that easy. I want a good future. For my family, and my future family. And in Singapore, it's not that easy. Let's not talk about it. :)

So my only answer is, when the time comes. :) 

Besides, I still have a lot more recipes to learn from my mom. Mom says cannot pass cooking, cannot marry. I'm taking her very seriously. >:(

Loving our new teachers wall display.

P told me the teachers find that I'm very photogenic.

I thought that maybe I just look the youngest around here.

So.... okay bye.