You And I

He has finally gotten his enlistment date. He sounded so grim when he texted me during class, "Kad jemputan da sampai bi." I actually sighed with relief when I read the message. I was starting to think the nation didn't want him. Hehe. But well, he got Home Team Academy and will be going in on 11 September. Yes, indeed, the countdown begins, but we have to be optimistic. Here is another test for us. & InsyAllah, we'll breeze through it just like we always have. Because I believe in us. :)

Right now, I'm going through all my assignment essays. So far, so good. My brain seems to function better at night, and if you ask me, that's bad news because I need more sleep now. I sleep like a pig in the train on the way to classes. & even during class, I'll start to nod off. Plus, I was fasting today and I felt so weak and unsteady at times. & I'll be fasting again tomorrow. Really need to get used to fasting again before Ramadhan comes. When tomorrow ends, it will be exactly 2 more weeks before I enter the centre as a trainee teacher. I'm half excited, and half nervous. I've learnt so much the past 3 weeks and even then, I feel like it's not enough to prepare me. But like they say, "Just because you know everything about children, it won't make you a good teacher unless you have the passion." :D

I shall leave now but before that, here is something I found from Le Love. :):3

To everyone else: If you love him, don't let him go. Time is precious. Let the little things go and enjoy the time you have. If he makes you feel loved each and everyday, if you can be yourself when you're with him, if he can make you laugh, if he is your best friend. Don't give up, in the end it's worth it all. Believe.

:)

I know I am not alone

I am not the only one who is broken

And I know I'll never let you go

I could watch the world pass by

Just as long as it's you and I

You and I

Everytime I do my prayers, I thank Allah.

For the blessings that He has given me lately.

Everyday that I wake up for school, I thank Allah.

For giving me the very thing that I wanted for so long.

I thank Allah for parents who always support me in whatever I do.

I pray for their safety, their health and their well-being.

I pray for success in what I am pursuing right now.

I pray that my parents are there every step of the way.

I am so lucky, sometimes it makes me cry.

Happy tears.

It has been 2 weeks, and what I've already known has been confirmed:

This is really what I want.

I'm so thankful for this.

:)

On a side note, my maid is on holiday back at her hometown.

It's gonna be a crazy 2 and a half months without her.

:(

Old School

Hello. Yes, I haven't update since I graduated but a lot happened over the last couple of weeks that I never really found time to blog. Ohwells.

Anyway, after graduation was over, I was suddenly very busy with Gamelan since GNK was involved in Singapore Arts Festival. The show was awesome, but I felt like it was too short. Like, it ended too soon. I saw the video of Rampak and our drummers were just spectacular. & cute! Ahmad and me gave Syafiq a surprise gift too. Heh. Shhh!

Remember I said I would talk about AIC and Seed Institute? Well, here goes. I finally got accepted in a sponsorship programme in AIC aka Asian International College for a Diploma in Early Childhood Care & Education - Teaching. It's a place and train mode, in conjunction with PAP Community Foundation, and I'm attached to Kampong Chai Chee Blk 135. My principal is really nice and I'm so thankful for that. So anyway, the course started on 28 May, and so far, I'm loving it more than the course in RP, like duh of course! The lecturers so far are really nice and engaging. I won't be interacting with children until the second month of the course, which is in July. Some of my classmates who got attached to childcare centres already started and they sometimes shared their own experiences and dilemmas that they faced with the children. It makes me so excited for my experience later but nervous as well. :/

As for Seed Institute, apparently when I submitted my application for it the week before graduation, they told me that they will have to check with higher authorities to see if my diploma can be accepted with my 3 O level credits. Then, on Ahmad's graduation day, they called and told me that I'm accepted in the course and will receive the acceptance letter sometime in June. So I guess I will have to reject the offer when I receive the package. But still, I was just trying my luck and I got it, both! I combined my diploma and O level as well when I applied for the AIC course. Besides, it's sponsored and I get monthly salaries. Isn't that a plus?

I have Allah to thank for this really huge stroke of luck. I just feel like, I'm so lucky, ya know? To finally get what I want after years of waiting and a couple of failed attempts. :)

So I went to the BBQ gathering today and surprisingly, really really surprising for me, I enjoyed it. Honestly, I really did. Mdm Norul was there too, and gosh, it's like, we're all at this age when we can really be more open with her as compared to our secondary school days. Marriage even came up. But it wasn't me who brought it up. Hassan was the one afraid he would marry at a late age cause by the time he finishes NS and his degree, he'd be like, 28 or something. & he was afraid that he won't be able to save up enough money to support a marriage. I was like, oh my god the guys actually plan ahead!!! & Mdm Norul was giving her opinions and stuff, and I even chipped in a bit. I mean, for me, it's alright if guys marry late. Not that I would marry an old guy la but, ya know what I mean. 

Anyway, I ate a lot of the satay, omg so nice. & they all loved the fruit pizza I brought. & we played Charades afterwards. So funnyyyy!!! Sigh. It actually made me miss secondary school days. When we were reminiscing earlier, I actually missed those days. Somehow, the class I was in always made the teachers very emotional. Like, when Mr Yap was so upset when someone threw wads of wet tissue on his sports car roof. & when Mrs Chee actually cried when someone destroyed the pictures she put up on her side of the class's noticeboard. & when Mdm Norul cried 'cause... I don't remember. There was a lot of catching up and updating on the others who didn't turn up. Lots of conversation and Danial's stupid lame inputs. Same old people. And Syed... Seemed like the same old person to me but the others didn't think so. Well, people change, even if it happens overnight.

But my point is, I enjoyed the gathering when I thought I wouldn't. I didn't want to go at first, but realized that, who knows one day I wouldn't see them again. I wish I could turn back time somehow and relive my best secondary school days. I actually really miss being the school's event photographer. Oh wells, I guess in life, you can't just stay in the past, you have to move on.

It was a nice Saturday for me, and quite a nice, fun way to end it. :)

See you in my next post, Insyallah. Meanwhile, always be in the best of health. :3

So why don't you meet me, down behind the old school

We'll waste away the weekend, with perfect regard for how

Cavalier we used to be, that beautiful insanity

The apathy's surrounding me

Don't close your eyes or we'll fade away

Diploma Holder

NEED I SAY MORE? I'VE FINALLY GRADUATED FROM REPUBLIC POLYTECHNIC!

Along with my closest friends, it was quite a memorable albeit chaotic night. I couldn't find most of my friends, especially the ones I had grown closer to in class. I even discovered terrible news from one of my classmates. Lucky are the ones who could graduate. I feel so sad there were some who couldn't, and it was also someone I knew and grew closer to. Sigh.

Anyway, this journey has finally ended. Thank you all who've shared my up and down moments, happiness and tears, in times of stress where we helped each other and the past year of meeting FYP deadlines. Thank you Gamelan IG for bringing out a new passion in me, for allowing me to learn so much more about the world of traditional music, for giving me the chance to perform for so many shows under the tutelage of Amran as well. Thank you all facilitators for the devoted guidance throughout these three years. I'm not going to pretend and say that I made so many friends because of the ever changing classes each semester, but I have made friends who have shown me what true friendship is, and what it means to be there for each other, no matter what happens.

My Nagas, I just can't express enough gratitude for being there for me last year on Reflections day when I.... broke down. Things have changed so much for me since then but everyone had always respected my personal demons with myself and accepted it.

And my parents, for always respecting my decisions and helping me as I go along. They may not have been very pleased about my deep devotion to gamelan but they knew I've always been passionate about music. When school finally ended for me, they encouraged me to go into teaching when they knew that it was my plan. After a couple of rejections down the road, they told me not to give up hope. Their prayers have always been with me and for that, I can only thank Allah for giving me such supportive parents. They were so happy yesterday and even put on my gown and took pictures. So cute. :3

& of course, the one and only. It's a pity we couldn't take a photo with both us in the graduation robes, but heck, take what you can. A photo is still a photo. It's amazing that we've seen through three years of life in RP together. From the first day that we met as a class, I barely noticed him but he noticed me already on the orientation day. Out of all the rest, he chose me, me who looks like any other ordinary girl, me who is nothing special, me who is just me. & after a short conversation with him earlier about what's going to happen in future, I realized, I truly realized how so very truly lucky I am to have him by my side the past three years. All the ups and downs, the happiness we always share with each other, the tears we help to wipe away, the shoulders that are always there to lean on, the misunderstandings that always happen every once in a while. These things have taught me a lot in our relationship, and they have also made me stronger as a person. He always tries to remind me of his commitment to our relationship, especially when I start to feel insecure. I'm just so thankful to have him by my side, he who always knows how to cheer me up, he who puts up with my nonsense at times, he who knows how to entertain my stupid antics. Our journey in RP may have ended, but I hope it will still stretch out long ahead. Amin.

I am truly, unbelievably happy even though I'm listening to Glee - Get It Right. A sad but powerful song that pulls at the heartstrings. Glee never fails to amaze me.

I may not have liked Republic Polytechnic very much, but I can't deny that the school and its curriculum has equipped me with skills that I know will prepare me for my future, whatever comes. & not only that, I've made so many good and precious memories there, as well as friends that I will always remember and cherish.

I'll talk about AIC and Seed Institute another time. :)

I want to go back to this beautiful place called Melbourne. The Yarra River and Loch Ard Gorge.

Anyways, I am officially free from Uniqlo! I feel bad for the good friends that I made there though. They're still kind of suffering under #bitchplease. But they're quitting soon so that's fine. The management will always face staff shortage problems as long as they don't do something about their manners. Sigh. Whatever. It's my problem no more, though I do pity future staff who come in thinking that the working environment is as fun as it seems.

So, yeah. I'm a free bird now. No more "Welcome to Uniqlo/Thank you, hope to see you again!". No more team talks. No more being bullied around. No more rudeness to my face. No more cashiering. Most importantly, no more of the #bitchplease and the male #bitchplease. I'm sorry, no offence intended but I really can't stand this two. Their manners need some lessons from Mommy. I'm not trying to be mean but seriously, you can't be nice to customers and outrageous to your staff. Shouting at them on the shopfloor WITH customers around? That is NOT professionalism. Answering back on the walkie talkie with a "No more no more okay thank you bye" is NOT good manners. But hell, this is the reality of the working world.

But, all of that is finally over. Amidst that, I did make a few very good friends. Mostly Chinese because I realized that somehow, the Malays were a little racist. Yes, it's true. I saw and heard it myself. They talked in malay about a China staff right in front of me, and I happened to be good friends with that same China staff. And somehow, when I didn't have any problems with the other malays, except the #bitchplease(s) of course, the other chinese staff have something against them. Apparently from the way they were treated. It actually made me wonder. Not all of the malays were like that, of course. It's just this handful. Plus, #bitchplease, of course. Sigh. Working with children won't be easier than this, of course, but at least I find joy in teaching them. :)

Alright then, I guess that's all I'm gonna rant. Haha. Arts Festival show on the 26th of May! Gamelan Express shows on this Wednesday and 22nd. I'm gonna love these next weeks of pure freedom. But oh, AIC still hasn't called. But apparently they said on their website that successful applicants will be notified by mail. I HATE THIS! Bye.

I just want one whole day with you. No gamelan, no distractions, no commitments. Just you and me. Is that so much to ask for? Am I being selfish to ask for this? Cause I only just realized today that I have exactly 2 weeks left before the course begins. And in this 2 weeks, we already have so many things planned for us. How can I ever find just one day with you? One day to spend with you before you start your service to the country? I tell myself that it's going to be fine when you're inside. But I'm scared and you don't know how scared I am. I'm scared things would change. I'm just plain scared. That's why I want so badly for a day to remember you as you are now, where it's just us. Just us. Is that too much to ask for?

Breakfast with Ahmad in the morning cheers up my day. Walked around ION together before I go in for work made me even more happier. He dropped me off at Uniqlo B3 entrance before leaving for Woodlands left me in a good mood for the rest of the day. Plus, #bitchplease was not in for work so I had quite a peaceful time working in the store, doing whatever I want. Quite a smooth sailing day. Oh and I should add that I had quite a funny time with Thahirah as well, when she dropped by to buy some stuff. I thought she wanted to shopping for real but she just wanted to buy briefs for her boyfriend. It was her first time buying for him and my first experience helping someone figure out what briefs to buy. We were so awkward and self-conscious. When she paid for the two briefs, it just had to be Charles at the cashier. Until now, I can never understand a word that Pinoy says to me so when he said something to us, I was like, ah. Hahaha. Thahirah accompanied me for my lunch at Popeyes after that and we talked about like, everything. But mostly it was me asking about her experience when Hannan was in NS. I'm actually very scared and nervous for my own experience. But she told me not to worry. :) But me being me, I'd worry. Ohwells.

There's work tomorrow and Sunday, and then pay comes in on Monday. When I come in for work on Wednesday, I'll be turning my resignation form in. Heh. Heeeehhhhh.

Oh and, BIG NEWS. Remember I mentioned about AIC offering a Trainee Teacher position with a full sponsorship for this Diploma in Early Childhood - Teaching. Which means that while you study for this diploma, you're also doing part time at a kindergarten centre AND you're getting paid a monthly salary as well. So, well, I went for the second interview at Bedok KCC Blk 135 centre about two weeks ago. At first, it sounded like I might not get it because they need a teacher for the morning class but I have to be studying in the morning. I will only be at the centre from 12pm onwards. And then last week, the principal called me to tell me to give her two more days to find a relief for me. So I told her I was fine with that. And then! On Monday, during gamelan, she called me again and told me, "I still can't find a relief for you but never mind. My BA just wants you to go ahead and take the pre-employment medical test first, and also come down to our centre to sign the contract." I remember her exact words because at that moment, my heart really soared. BA means Branch Advisor, by the way. So, yesterday, I went down to Bedok again to sign the contract. After the paperwork was done, the BA shook my hand to thank me for my time and said, "Welcome to the family." My heart SOARED even higher. I swear I left the centre with a huge smile on my face.

All I need now is to wait for the acceptance letter from AIC for the course. :) Syukur Alhamdulillah. 

Okay, this is about all I have to say for now. I have quite irritating colleagues at my workplace that makes me wish time would pass even faster so that I can quit.

I miss spending everyday with Gamelan. I miss THAT life now.

Graduation in 13 days!!! :D